Midterm Exam: Rockies Fail

Hoist this diagnosis, comatosisis,
what I leave your crew with, boom bip or some two and two shit
Raw silk, cuz you do it to my music...

A Rockies mid-season report at this point is pretty sel-explanatory. At 18 games below .500 for the defending NL champions, a team expected to contend for the NL Wets, the progress reports a triple F minus.

There are no “Goods” in the reports; even Chris Ianetta’s emergence, Aaron Cook’s 10 wins, or Omar Quintinella’s sweet mustache. For this team, there cannot be a good when they have the worst record in the National League.

The “Bads” are abundant. Foremost for practically every Rockies’ fan/journalist/blogger/LoDo flute player is the complete inability to hit in the clutch, especially with runners on and/or two outs. That goes hand in hand in which seems like a stagnation in the overall offense: Helton’s marginal first half, a lack of power compared to prior years, Tulo’s complete lack of offense, and Brad Hawpe’s complexing struggles and inconsistency.

The “Uglies” can fill a phone book. The pillar that is defense has proved costly, bad teams that come into Coors or they travel to are treated as the 27 Yankees. Manny Corpas has pitched like Mandy Moore, and Clint Hurdles’ smugness and his “I know what we’re doing, you don’t attitude” is bordering on the asinine. Couple in Hurdle’s ridiculous “igniter point” references after Yorvit Torrealba’s fight with Matt Kemp and his taking a bean ball from Ramon Ramirez. Clint, you can’t assign “turning points” to events, they just have to happen naturally.

I Love the 2000 Beers

I seen the light excite all the freaks
Stack mad chips, spread love with my peeps...

I've always enjoyed VH1's series "I Love the 80's" and the subsequent "I Love the 90's." There were snippets of my youth, some Hip Hop (the Gerardo segment still cracks me up), and some sports. But the later "I Love the 90's" were a bit weird, since that shit seemed like it just happenned. Now I turn on VH1 and don't see MC Serch looking for the next great female rapper, Flavor Flav acting like a jackass, or sorrid tales of rock stars gone bad, but rather "I Love the New Millenium," a look at the decade we are currently in. They're talking about events that literally just happened and things that some of us have yet to even buy.

Got me thinking if the 2006 and 2007 versions would reminisce on the lame, no-talent, wack, played out endeavor that was the Slushy Gutter Summer Missions. You know those ridiculous beer counting Summers of 528 beers and then 5280 beers. Alas, they never mentioned them and we were spared the humiliation. Since the 2008 version won't be out until January 2nd, 2009, they thankfully won't be able to recount the past week of a few Lumpy Dogs at Slick Rips bday celebration, the mad smoooooooth CL's at the Arvada Gold Strike Days (along with a couple New Belgium Skinny Dips) or the tasty Miller Chills or Blue Moon Honey Wheat beers that were devoured this past week. (140)

RELATED: The Commish must pay his debt for mentioning Gerardo with Opio's "Don Julio" and Dilated Peoples' "Worst Comes to Worst"

Dueces Wild gets a 10

Ten reasons that you should cop Vast Aire's just released joint, Dueces Wild:

10. Another appearance by Camp Lo, this time from Geechi Suede on "Dynamic Duo." The pair dice through an alter ego named Vast Man, who is constantly trying to get into Cat Woman's panties.
9. No choruses asking Kobe Bryant how his ass tastes.
8. A newcomer producer, Melodious Monk, who's beats hark back to El-P's epic work on The Cold Vein.
7. Another newcomer, Le Parasite, puts Vast on the beat on the leadoff track, "You Like It" with its synthesizer undertones, horror film piano, and Vast telling us "he can break it down?"
6. References to former click Weathermen and Atoms Fam, and constant references to his newer posse, LXG (coincidence that it is the same name as a track on El-P's last album?)
5. This ain't Parker Lewis, but you gonna lose, cuz I can do karate in platform shoes...
4. An ill Das EFX sample on "Gimme That Mic" that features Weatherman member Copywrite.
3. A lyrical Tour de Force on "When Starz Fall," with a hard core Boom Bap beat. Lead off by Double A.B. ("ya wanna fight let's get it poppin like a pen and a balloon"); Thanos ("spit fire and breathe lasers"); Swave Sevah ("bottom line, Swave will smack ya, I'm a man of few words, how the fuck did I become a rapper?"); Vast ("I don't gotta floss, seven dudes step up, seven dudes get tossed"); and Karniege ("we all below frostbite, my mission in life- destroy all mics.")
2. The final track, "The Man Without Fear" is contains a melodic guitar riff that sounds like the Friday Night Lights theme.
1. A reunion track with Cannibal Ox partner, Vordul Mega on "Mecca and the Ox." Produced by the Chocolate Boy Wonder, Pete Rock.

Summer Beers 2008

For the second straight year, we offer with the first day of Summer, the Slushy Gutter Summer Beers Mix. This year, some of the characters from the SG offer up some suggestions for the playlist... (DOWNLOAD entire playlist at post's end)

Set it off with something that's like BAM, just right at cha to start it off proper!

Alright, Jason, will do in this case since you never set off a game by kicking the ball into the endzone. But I'm just bitter because Matt Prater or Gus the kicking mule will be the Donk kicker this year. But get it started all up in your face with Funkdoobiest's "The Funkiest." Compliment that by running to your fridge and just grabbin the first beer you see, perhaps a Rolling Rock some boyfriend of your wife's single friend brought over and has been sitting idly.

Yo brah, put on something I hear on the local indy station and I can totally hackey sack to...

Thanks Boulder Hippie dude, and we got something for ya, a member of The Living Legends, The Grouch featuring Rapheal Saadiq "Show You the World." The Grouch and Living Legends are a staple of the university scene. People who normally wouldn't know Nice and Smooth from a Raspberry Smoothie can mouth Living Legend's tunes. Hippie dude, grab yourself some of Lyon's finest Dale's Pale Ale and enjoy.

Fuck this pussy shit, throw some thug shit on or things are gonna get heated...

Sorry former Av player Chris Simon, we'll do just that. How about a little Fiddy and "Guns Come Out?" I know he's criticized and put down across the mean net streets, and his endless disses get real old, but damn. This beat is just mad hot, Dr. Dre absolutely killed it...which may not be such a great metaphor around you Chris. Crank it up, slash some dudes and enjoy with some an old tough Mickey's wide mouth.

Speak to me Commish, give me something to motivate, to inspire, to verbalize. This ain't intramurals...it's division one mix tapes!

Sure thing Coach Hawk. Since you are the man of 1000 quotes and quips and pearls of wisdom, let's go back to the Afrocentric beats and rhymes of X-Clan's "Grand Verbalizer What Time is It?" Brother Jay and (RIP) professor X could probably fill your pregame speeches with enough material to last a couple seasons. Hawk, win a few more games this year and you can listen to this track with a crisp Buffalo Gold.

Club banger Commish, something for us honies...

Don't tell Melo that I'm doing this for you LaLa, but I will throw in the Busta Rhymes remix of "Don't Touch Me (Throw Some Water on Em)." Plus this remix has about every MC in the history of mankind- Big Daddy Kane, Lil Wayne, George Karl. Okay, I made up the George Karl part, but I bet it perked Melo up eh? Enjoy Busta and crew with an Amstel Light.


How about some old West Coast shit? Dude, your always fronting on the West...

Hey Rocky, what the hell do you know about the West Coast? I don't see you throwing up the 'W' when you're trying that over the back half court shot. To keep you happy though, Mr. Mountain Lion, I'll give you the icon from the West, Tupac Shakur and "Old School." Yeah, it's not your typical West Coast riding song, but it'll get your head nodding enough to get hyped up to clock Charles Barkley in the nuts. Grab a straw and a Modelo with a lime.

Naw, man some real old West Coast shit!

Sorry Subway Cold Cut Trio, I was unaware you and the LA scene go back further than 95. For you and your turkey, ham, and fresh bread, I have some Rodney O & Joe Cooley with "Everlasting Bass." That's West Coast history with In and Out burger, lowriders, and palm trees right there. Keep with the theme and go with a Pacifico, but add some of that 79 cent lime powder you see next to the register at gully liquor stores everywhere.

I know you got some Doom in there; you got the Doom fever, I won't tell...

Yes, Boris, I am a big MF Doom fan. Like cartoon and comic nerds, us Doom fans are somewhat of the same ilk. So, check some King Geedorah, another of Doom's aliases and "Fine Print." Don't front though, Doom's beats have appeared all over the underground and he goes back to the "Gas Face" days for all those old school piners. In fact Boris, to celebrate old Metal Face, grab me and you Sam Adam's Summer Ale and crack that ish and lets dine on squirrel.

Turntabilsm man, get me some ill cutting and scratching...

Dante, I know you had some quick hands, so you can appreciate what the DJ can still do in this Hip Hop game. Further more, do with an actual record and turntable, not a scratch pad or computer. Dante, while not always hustling in the outfield, would love him some Eydea and Abilities' "Now." Hot damn, the cutting on this record will make you wear out you Pop's 1978 stylus and have running for a cold Pabst Blue Ribbon.

The God, son, the GOD...

Speak the truth, dead Egyptian mummy, speak on em. Any mix tape would be remiss without the Greatest of All Time, Rakim Allah. Dig into his off-album library for "Heat It Up" from the movie "Gunmen." Bad movie...great song, except for Ra sporting a Texas hat on the single cover. Pop this track in when you're basking in the 100 degree weather and crack an ice cold, I mean, ice cold, smooooooooooth Coors Light. and if you can't get it through the bandages, dead Egyptian mummy, we can just soak them in Golden's finest.

Woof woof woof...bark...grrrrr. Woof woof, grrrrr, grrrr, bark bark!

Easy one, dog. I know I describe your bodily functions as the way many a Colorado teams are playing from time to time. We'll make it a no brainer: "Dog Shit" by Wu-Tang Clan. Ahh, a forgotten track from the Wu's second album. We haven't forgot, we are reminded of it each time we think of the 07 Donks or a Nugs' playoff series. We'll ease your pain with a dog dish full of Blue Moon and an orange slice. Bow wow.

How about some new stuff that has kind of flown under the radar, something to check for? Something to roll dice to?

Good call, backgammon board. You're always the forward thinking one and for that I give you The Knux's "Cappuccino." This song should've got a hell of a lot more run this past spring (yo, and check the remix if you can- a true remix with a different beat, not a remix EVERY cat does with a couple different lyrics and the same beat), but we aint mad, are we backgammon? Keep an eye out for them the rest of year and pass me a Moose Drool.

What about the D? The Motor City be putting hell of good stuff the last ten years.

Come on Chauncey, the 'D' is your hometown my man. But I can't forget about Detroit, except for the Red Wings. Check a bit of Slum Village and "Raise it Up" featuring the legendary Jay Dilla. I don't sip 'Mo/I ain't never popped Cris'/This Rollie just don't look right sitting on my wrist...vintage Dilla right there, son. Chauncey, I know you're still bumming from the Celtic beat down, so drown you sorrows with Colorado's own Yellow Dog, aka Coors Original.

Holy crap, all this beer and dancing and bobbing, I got to take a leak!

I'm not sure how an entire arena takes a piss, drinks beer, or even dances. But, hey, you are the boss McNichols Arena. Even though you are technically a parking lot right now...this keeps getting stranger. I'll throw on a longer track for you, old school JVC Force's "Strong Island," you can channel the Nassau County Coliseum or something while you find a giant Portapotty. Afterwards, get yourself some high alcohol Reverend to take the edge off.

Hit me with some old rappers doing some new shit! (Cough cough)

Aight, box of Newports. EPMD, they still got it, and for added measure they brought along KRS-One on the new track "Run It." Yes, I'm aware it sounds like something from one of the early "Business..." albums, that the beat is something on "Old School Lunch" or whatever they call it. That is exactly while it is hot to death. So grab a old coleman cooler, with dirty water and your daughter's Juicy Juices and chill out a Haystack Wheat from Left Hand Brewery.

Just one more, no specific song, whatever, I just want to drink a beer and listen to something that will get me excited. Oooh, Commish gets me excited.

Well, ahem, thank you Carmen, but I don't think that Mrs. Commish would quite approve. And given you been poked out by Deniss Rodman, Prince, Dave Navarro, and B-Real, The Commish's penis health appreciates her discretion too. So, see your way out from the Slush Gutter Summer Beers 2008 with a simple classic, The Jungle Brothers' "How You Want it We Got It," and enjoy with a Summer Bright Ale from Breckenridge Brewery.

DOWNLOAD HERE

I Hear Drunk Voices

Kick that ol' robotic, futuristic, George Jetson, crazy joint…

One of the problems about counting beers over the last two (1, 2) summers is mentally keeping notes of the numbers. The little voice in your head becomes more and more confused as the beer numbers pile up over the course of a long day, week, and month. So this summer, since I’m not counting, I have simply chose to ignore the little voice in my head. In fact, I’ve put that little fucker on full lock down mode and won’t listen to him like your dog won’t listen to you when you tell him not to piss in your shoes. To ensure I don’t listen to him and his lame counting, I have replaced his voice with that of Charlie Brown’s teacher, an unintelligible auctioneer, or the speaker box at a Jack in the Box drive-thru from 1989.

For instance, this past week would’ve seen a lot of counting with me and former two time Slushy Gutter winner JayBiz (Hi Haters!) and crew lounging on the LoDo’s deck swilling fresh CLs; me and former two time Slushy Gutter winner Mummy once again swilling beers at a one year old’s birthday party, including some prime Busch Lights. That was followed by some BLs at the annual Highlands Street Fair and back to ol' trusty CL with a late dinner at Patrick Caroll’s Pub in Denver. Sunday would’ve seen The Commish celebrating Father’s Day with a few smooooooooth CLs. But all that shit doesn’t matter, because the little voice wasn’t counting and all I heard was “wah wah wah wah wah.” (109)

RELATED: Maino- "Hi Hater"

Pop Bottles

It gets better, ordered another round
It's...about...to go...down
Got six model chicks, six bottles of Cris...

While his ex-teammates are opening youth centers to honor Darrent Williams, Javon Walker is spraying champagne on the crowd in Vegas.

The same Walker who “grieved” after Williams death by also visiting his same Vegas haunts, missing the funeral which was attended by every other member of the organization, from Pat Bowlen to the last member of the taxi squad.

Walker must still be “grieving” as he is now recovering from a robbery at the hands of someone who had the same outlook as the people you ran into on the fateful New Year’s night when Williams was killed: “I don’t care who you are.”

In an eerie similarity, both incidents involved the insidious practice of spraying bubbly, which allegedly started the New Year’s fracas that lead to Williams’ death. Apparently, Javon was “grieving” by popping nearly 15K of Cristal onto Vegas patrons.

All that flash, all that champagne, all that excess must’ve rubbed someone the wrong way…again.

Walker now must rehab not only his knee, but a fractured orbital bone a fractured psyche and outlook, one which apparently doesn’t require a second thought to one’s actions and their outcomes. The Broncos gave him more than a year to figure this out, but all he could muster was the organization wasn’t getting him the ball enough. Now it’s up to the hated rivals in the AFC West to crack the nut that is Javon.

RELATED: Someone who really looks like Javon Walker is spotted rehabing his knee with a Playboy model (April 08)

Fathers Day's Gone Crazy

SONGS FOR YOUR FATHERS DAY:

**Daddy's Little Girl- The Juggaknots
**Big Poppa- Notorious BIG VIDEO
**Mack Daddy- Sir Mix A Lot
**Poppa Large- Ultramagnetic MCs VIDEO
**Daddy Called Me Ni**er Because I Liked to Rhyme- Young Black Teenagers
**Pops- Giant Panda
**Hay Papi- Jay-Z
**Stuntin Like My Daddy- Lil Wayne
**Get Em Out the Way Pa- Wu Tang Clan
**Daddy's Little Baby- Ja Rule
**Freedom (Papa Wu)- Lord Jamar
**The Godfather- Spoonie Gee
**Baby Daddy- Queen Pen
**The MAck Daddy on the Left- De La Soul
**Doggfather- Snoop Doggy Dog
**Daddy's Little Girl- Nikki D VIDEO
**President of Babies Father- Def Squad
**Father Time- Saukrates
**It's A Big Daddy Thing- Big Daddy Kane
**Big Daddy Versus Dolemite- Big Daddy Kane f/Rudy Ray Moore
**Godfather of Funk- Schoolly D
**Be a Father to your Child- Ed OG and the Bulldogs VIDEO
**Daddy Get That Cash- Styles P
**Father Speaks- Handsome Boy Modeling School
**Pops Rap- Common
**Like Father, Like Son- The Game f/Busta Rhymes
**My Dad's Gone Crazy- Eminem
**Baby Daddy- Wyclef Jean f/ Redman
**Papa'z Song- Tupac
**Papi Chulo- Funkdoobiest
**Call Me Daddy- Too Short
**F*ck My Daddy- WC and the MAAD Circle
**Daddy's Home- Big Daddy Kane
**Step Daddy- Too Short

BONUS BEATS:
**Brother's Gonna Work It Out- Public Enemy ("Teach a man how to be a father, to never tell a woman he couldn't bother") VIDEO
**They Reminisce Over You- Pete Rock and CL Smooth ("Took me from a boy to a man to a father") VIDEO

Counting No's

See I paid my dues, now you can't tell me nothing
This is dedicated to the ones who kept fronting…

I hate counting. Back in the day when I worked at a big box retail, I used to loathe inventory nights and hide in the walk in freezer for four hours. I got banished from a street fair when someone asked me to guess the number of jellybeans in a jar and I socked them in the face. When I couldn’t fall asleep, I would imagine sheep simply being sheared of their wool. Watching Sesame Street, I would throw my Gerbers at the TV when that idiotic Euro The Count came on.

That being said, it should be no surprise that there’s no way I’m doing the SG Summer Mission in 2008. It shouldn’t matter that if I was, last week would’ve been pretty stout. My wife’s family came breezing into town, which provided ample outdoor time, game time, and my beautiful wife’s birthday celebration to consume mass quantities of smoooooooooooth CLs, a couple Amstel Lights, and even a Shiner Bock. Good stuff, but counting it would be just wack. (76)

RELATED: Black Sheep- "Without a Doubt"

MF June Points

Do the Smurf, do the Wop, Baseball Bat
Rooftop like we bringing '88 back...

COLORADO SPORTS:
***Check out the Fx Network's 30 Days this week and you will see a familiar face in former Bronco CB Ray Crockett. For those who are sleeping, 30 Days is documentarian Morgan Spurlock's (Supersize Me) joint that takes a person from a completely diferenet walk of life and makes them live another person's life for 30 days. This week features Crockett having to liVe the life a wheelchair bound person. Before his Denver days, Crockett was a teammate with Detroit's Mike Utley, who suffered a injury which confined him to a wheelchair. The hour features Crockett and his family having to deal with the unexpected challenges and emotions. Peep Ray working out with the wheelchair rugby aka "Murderball" team and you'll see he'd probably rather be facing the Raiders again.

HIP HOP:
***The collective Hip Hop realm is abuzz about one album and one album only, Lil Wayne's The Carter III. As a devoted underground head/backpacker/insert label here, I should hate, loathe and sh*t on the offering. I won't do any of the three, because the first two are too predictable and the third is gross and probably illegal. Wayne does to his credit assemble some of the game's top producers, including Kanye West(the best track being "Shoot Me Down", a slow head nodder with a catchy hook that sounds like Coldplay,) Swizz Beatz and a surprising track with The Alchemist("Nothin on Me" w/Fabolous and Juelz Santana.) Of course, like any major Hip Hop release, there's a T-Pain track(skip it), and a track with Jay-Z ("Mr. Carter," the album's top track,) and perhaps the wackest track in the last five years, "Lollipop." When Wayne (I refuse to call him 'Weezy') isn't getting just too stupid with his whiny voice, his synthisized Peter Frampton meets 2008 BS, and his 'greatest rapper alive' schtick, he carries the tracks pretty well. His lyrics range from some metaphors that illict a good chuckle ("I don’t owe you like two vowels"), then he goes off the deep end and mutters "hey pussy" 1000 times on one track fumbling over a rock beat that would make even a lounge singer blush. Perhaps it is the ying and yang of the entire Lil Wayne hype, I have to hate him, but he does some tracks that push me into checking it, then pisses me off again and I grab my back pack, than a blazing track comes, and the cycle continues...
(related: pay your penance and scoop up KRS-One's Maximum Strength or The Cool Kids' The Bake Sale )

BEER
***Some "brewers" in Phoenix are now making a brand new beer called Bowser Beer. Catchy name, probably some microbrew with a dog on the cover? No, it's actually for your dog. Some one must of used to hate it when Alex from Strohs would take that dude's beer. The brew contains no actual alcohol, but beef and malt, glucosomine, things dogs crave. No word if the taste of their own asshole is also included. The real shocker? A $20 plus per sixer price tag. $20 for your dogs' beer? Give me the damn Jackson note, I'll but that dog a 30 pack of Keystone and mark it 'Keystone Dawg' and Fido won't know the difference and he can share it with me. But I won't be counting it or anything...Woof.

Double Shot Powe

It's a must that I bust any mic you're hand to me,
It's inherited, it's runs in the family…

Some of the buzz here in CO after Game Two of the NBA Finals was about Leon Powe, the (ahem) one time Nuggets draft pick who joined the ranks of Timmy Smith, “Turning Japanese,” and Buster Douglas as a one-hit wonder.

When I first heard the name Leon Powe, I thought, “yeah he’s the dude from ‘Above the Rim’ who was the security guard/Duane Martin’s father figure.” But apparently, Leon Powe spent about as much time in Denver as a 70 degree day in January.

Powe was drafted by the Powder Blue Patrol and subsequently dealt to Team Green from a bag of jock straps and Red Auerbach’s ashtray. So the critics would like you to believe. Ultimately, the Powe trade turned into JR Smith.

I’m thinking 30 of 30 NBA general managers would favor Smith over Powe, now that Isiah Thomas is out of the league. While Powe might go down in Boston lore, he is hardly “one that got away” here in Denver. The Nugs would probably not be playing the Celtics in the Finals had Powe remained in the fold. Unless Powe has super human ability to enable Kenyon Martin to play defense, Melo to play with more heart and desire, and AI to dish the ball around like John Stockton. In that case, bad trade.

Suburban Silver Bullets

I judge wisely, as if nothin ever surprise me
Loungin, between two pillars of ivory...

If I was doing the ridiculous endeavor that was the Slushy Gutter Summer Mission, last week would have been mad trill. Using that word makes me feel like a big man too. The annual suburban garage sale came in full force last weekend and with it the massive numbers of smoooooooooooooth CLs that are popping by 10am. Selling my 1995 Silver Tab jeans and old CD racks added to my joy. Former two time Slushy Gutter winner Mummy and your man The Commish put a hurting on the Silver Bullets, crushing some canned leftovers and a 20 pack supplied by Pops, until finally we had to call in the big dog, current Slushy Gutter winner JL Smooth who came loaded to bear with a five case replenishment. The fallout was the annual post-garage sale hangover, which was quelched a bit with some light and crisp Lumpy Dogs at the nearby Rock Bottom brewery.

If it was last year, I’d be getting hugs from the honies, pounds from the ruffnecks from the week’s consumption. But being it 2008 and the SG Mission has been banished, it is just a stupid passing thought in the alcohol-hazed mind. (43)

RELATED: Artifacts- "C'mon Wit Da Git Down" ("My pockets are lumpy chump, my drunk style is trunky dunk...")

Short shorts short hits

They go 'ooh' and 'ah' when I jump in my car,
people treat me like Kareem Abdul Jabar...

The SG joins the chorus of everyone in the world reminiscing about the good ol days of Celtics v Lakers, this time as it pertained with the Denver Nuggets. Not the Powder Blue Patrol of today, but the Crayola Warriors of the 80’s, complete with the Denver skyine logo that basically looked like Tetris gone wrong.

Calvin Natt absolutely physically abused Larry Bird in the matchups, Natt was a beast with a Rick Ross neck beard 20 years ago…Michael Adams single-handily won a game at the Garden in the late 80s, handcuffing the Celtics’ guards and racking up the steals…Alex English breaking his hand in Game Four of the Western Conference Finals in 1984, ending any chance the Nugs had of winning…Bill Hanzlik was under Kareem’s skin in the mid-80s, more so than any player not named Ralph Sampson…Air Blair Rasmussen fell for Kareem’s sky hook fakes EVERY time…My man Fresh Marcus, Nuggets ball boy in those days, with his collection of sneakers from damn near every player, except Kareem, who would throw his shoes away in a dumpster after every game…The old McNichols Arena had two “pop the top” neon ads for Miller Beer on concourse, and they would always “pop” during LAL or BOS games, a young Commish was seen underneath them, trying to catch the fake beer in his mouth…Fat Lever damn well was a more complete point guard than Magic, but never got his national run…Wayne Cooper versus Robert Parrish…1988 Denver Nuggets, who lost Jay Vincent in the semis versus the Mavericks looked poised to take the Lakers in the WC Finals until the injury…Contrasting styles: Pat Riley/KC Jones looking East Coast and LA Suave in finely tailored suits and crisp hair, and Doug Moe, dripping with sweat , tie off, hair muffled in a JC Penny pair of slacks…Craziest hair? TR Dunn’s curl? Kurt Rambis’ floppy mop? Kevin McHale’s same ‘do he rocks today? …Magic’s knee pads, Rambis’ Hanson brothers glasses, Allan Bristow’s clipboard, Chopper Travilingi’s sweater vest…

RELATED: Das EFX - "Mic Checka" ("I sliggedy slam dunk like Kareem Abdul Jabar") and of course this one.

Yo Know Bo

RIP to a true giant of the music world, Bo Diddley. A few ‘Bo’ related tracks from the Hip Hop realm:

- “Scenario”- A Tribe Called Quest f/ Leaders of the New School (“Bo knows this and Bo knows that, but Bo don’t know jack, cuz Bo can’t rap”) VIDEO
- “Twinz (Deep Cover 98)”- Big Punisher and Fat Joe (“Dead in the middle of Little Italy little did we know that we riddled some middleman who didn't do diddley”) VIDEO
- “Rock N Roll”- Mos Def (“Elvis Presley ain't got no soul, Bo Diddley is rock and roll”)
- “Buddy”- De La Soul (samples Diddley’s “Hit or Miss”)
- “7 DJs”- Boogie Down Productions (“I'm a, stimulator, administrator, activator, initiator, captivator, originator”
- “They Want EFX”- Das EFX (“But I can fe-fi-fo-fum, Diddley-bum, here I come, so Peter Piper, I'm hyper than Pinocchio's nose I'm the supercalafragilistic tic-tac pro”
-Countless songs in which artists scream out “Bo! Bo! Bo!”

RELATED: Since Bo Jackson and Bo Diddley are linked in so many people's minds, here is video of the former absolutley destroying Bronco defensive back Mike Harden at the LA Coliseum in the late 80s (2nd Highlight in)

Working for the Weekend

Looking at my Gucci it’s about that time…

Our weekend with the National League Champion Rockies:

-About 3:00pm FRIDAY: The Rox blow a 9-1 lead and the drunks at Wrigley are pissing their pants as the Cubs win 10-9. If there was any doubt before, I mean ANY, this game officially puts the “When does football season start” countdown clock in motion,

-About Noon SATURDAY: Starting pitcher for the Rockies: Glendon Rusch. When your starter has been cut by the Padres and he sounds more like an insurance agent from Salina, Kansas, just pack it in a relegate yourselves to the Pacific Coast League.

-About 1:00pm SUNDAY: Center fielder Cory Sullivan fails miserably to catch a long fly ball and gets tangled in the ivy. He might as well of tried to find a magic portal amongst the ivy and go live with the Hobbit or some crap, because not even magic can save this lot.