Monday, January 31, 2011

Egypt, Egypt

Not at all making light of the situation in Egypt right now, but it reminded me of the old school MC Egyptian Lover. And he reminded me of how absolutely horrible West Coast Hip Hop was before the arrival of Eazy E, Cube, and the crew. LA Dream Team, World Class Wreckin Cru, Bobby Jimmy, and early Arabian Prince weren't exactly the west Coast answer to Run DMC. Respect due to these cats for setting the table for the "2nd Generation" but I usually skip the early LA scene.


Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Jayhawks Have Buffs Blue

I say people people come on and check it out now
You see the mic in my hand now watch me wreck it now...

As the Kansas faithful broke into their "waves of wheat" victory chant in the last two seconds of last night's CU-KU hoops game, Buff faithful said their own waves of goodbye to the Hawks. Some of them might've been the one-fingered variety.
Throughout the history of the Big 12, the Buffs have only beat the Jayhawks once. When Stephan Pelle hit a late jumper in 2003 to lift Cu to their only win that wasn't a sign of things to come, but a mere hiccup in KU's dominance of the series in Bouder (for that matter they've dominated in Kansas, Dallas, Edmonton, the parking lot behind Hooters, wherever.)
It stretchs even futher, back to the old Big 8 (you know, the quaint Midwest consortium before the Texas mucky mucks got involved) where KU also stuck it to the Black and Gold. 22 years is how far I go back in this series and only in 03 did I witness a win. Billy Law missing free throws in the early 90s, Chauncey and crew unable to beat them on Super Bowl Sunday in 97, last year's and this year's edition with two NBAers couldn't do it.
Unlike our former football foils Nebraska, I might actually miss the smug KU fans, for it was one of the few times per year the Foam Doam was actually rocking (the best part of last night's game was letting a Hawk fan know that you could in fact get a beer in the Coors Event Center, that you had to go to the basement through a nearly secret staircase to imbibe. She looked at us like Pee Wee's bike was hidden in the basement of the Alamo.)
But unlike the three previous coaches who came through Boulder (how's Wake going for you Jeff?) Coach Boyle might actually have something brewing with the long suffering hoops program. A new facility is opening, sellouts are more frequent, three blue chippers are incoming along with some size and a Utah transfer, Andre Roberson is a beast, and Boyle has the pedigree. Rock Chalk bye bye, it's time to put the fun back in the Foam Dome without the blue.
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Monday, January 24, 2011

Culter Cuts Out

Avoidin' all the thick teasers, skeezers, and weirdos...

-Am I happy that Jay Cutler fell flat on his ass yesterday and is now being reviled and smeared throughout the sports world? Hell yes I am. Is it a classic case of sour grapes? Yep. Since he left, even more has come out about just how much of an ahole this dude is, and yesterday helped further that belief. Should he have toughed it our and gone out there? I don't know, but he sure didn't look like he was rushing to try it out. Long Duk Dong looked more agile on the stationary bike than Jay did. Did you see him summoning every medical person from the sideline to Rockford? Perception, and when you're already a douchebag like Cutler, that perception takes a big hit.
-The last time I saw Caleb Hanie he was tossing away the Goat's and Old Head Goat's last chance to beat the Buffs. If you would of told me that day that Hanie would be playing in the NFC Championship I'd ask you to pass the twelver. While he played well, it is beyond me how the #2 seed Bears have ancient Todd Collins and Caleb Hanie at back up? Even the #2 seed Broncos of 2005, lead by Jake Plummer and back-uped the entire year by another Goat, Bradlee Van Pelt, think that is dumb.
-We all saw Hanie intensley looking at the Polaroids of the Packer defense in the fourth quarter. Did you see d-bag Cutler simply sitting next to him? Hey Jay, feel free to point out some things to the young over-his-head third stringer. Maybe help him with some coverages or personnel on the field? Tell him about your chick's horrible acting careeer?
-Everytime I see BJ Raji out on the field dominating I am like a scorned lover. Another colossal draft blunder by McHoody.
-Green Bay could've put the game away if they simply would've let Mason Crosby attempt two 52 yard FGs rather than punt. We all know that Mason can make that damn kick (never forget Gary Barnett once took a knee and lost 4 yards before letting Crosby kick) and also avoided any Devin Hester punt heroics.
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Monday, January 17, 2011

'10 Again: Top Colorado Beers Spots

Alley Bar- There's a reason that this Highlands bar is called the Alley Bar- because it used to be an alley. They simply threw a roof over it, put in some ornate decor, and cheap drinks. Located next to a popular pizza place Zio Romolos, this joint has a laid back vibe like most of the neighborhood.

Tiki Bar- Whenever these tropical themed bars come into our mountain state, it just screams cheesy. This bar gets a pass because it's on the Lake Dillon waterfront. Suck down local brewery Pug Ryan's micros (Morningwood Wheat is a fave) and watch the Colorado mountain summer go by.

Golden City Brewery- Take a microbrewery and put in a house and use the yard as the seating area, that's what GCB is all about. The "backyard" has communal picnic tables for you to get to know your fellow drinker, with entertainment usually a dude witha guitar, a couple dogs roaming around, and good beers.

Vintage Moose- You pass it everytime on the way to the slopes in Idaho Springs: it's the roadside bar (in the parking lot of the behemoth Beua Jo's) with the big moose antlers offers a completely redone interior and cold drinks. An ample patio area is great for summer evenings as Interstate 70 goes by at 80mph.

Highland Tap- Not the biggest burger critic, but my dining companion offers it was the best burger they've ever had in the city. This new joint also offers a Wednesday running club and other hot deals. Plenty of TVs and a good selection of micros and old stanbys make it a desirable sports location on a lazy Sunday.

Fainting Goat- Nestled in among the offices and shops on Broadway, the Fainting Goat has a patio that is a must for your summer plans. But get there early, because the rooftop patio is smaller than most of the massive offerings the city has to offer. You won't be sorry sucking down ice cold CLs as the city bellows beneath.

Skips Pourhouse- History seems to ooze from this joint on Carbondale's main drag, from the intricate bar, to the classic music blaring from the jukebox (which has a small dance congregation when we were there on a random Saturday afternoon.) This is a Original Coors type place to co-mingle with immigrants, hippies, and cowboys. Don't forget the Rocky Mountain Oysters either.

Motherloded Tavern- This is one of those classic bars that didn't meet a piece of decor it didn't like, and there's plenty (love the old TVs on the patio) on display at this Breckenridge watering hole. The trendy ski crowd or summer touristy types seemed absent most of the time, so swill their cold beers without pretense.

Wild Mountain Smoke House- Keep going straight through Boulder and you'll eventually end up in the mountain hamlet of Nederland, and belly onto the Wild Mountain. Sit on the patio with one of their handcrafted beers with the air a bit more nippy, the grass seems a bit greener, and the people of 'Ned' are a bit friendlier.

Old Louisville Inn- At one time this Irish bar was the center of violent protests of the miners who populated Louisville (bullet holes in the walls prove that.) The antique bar itself is from Leadville and is one of the state's oldest. Murals grace the wall painted by a local artist who was paid with a bar tab. Plenty of Boulder County brews on tap.

Red's Pub- This one is close to home, as in the Commish's home. The simple white cinder block bar with a few tables, a few beers on tap, frozen pizzas and popcorn, and friendly staff was a old school throwback with the kitsch of trying to be. Unfortunately, progress is coming in the form of the new road and Red's is shuttered. Too much these days the little bars are disappearing from our lives while the "fun emporiums" pop up around.

I went to Red's now and then with friends (it was our stop after Dan Hawkins' first loss to Montana State), or with my decades old Fantasy Football league, or with my favorite bar hopper, my lovely wife (Red's was still a bit gully to trust it to host my beautiful baby girl.) I'll miss it but won't shed too many tears because the most important thing is the memories, friendships, and loves that places like this create and nuture. Big ups to the SG Massive for 2011.

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Friday, January 14, 2011

Fox Trot

I flows, so one of my shows, wouldn't be clever to miss
I'm leavin competitors pissed
To tell you the truth, it gets no better than this...

John Fox is the new Donk head coach. Excuse me for not peeing my pants or throwing a parade down 16th Street. People (John Elway and his cronies) are quick to point out that Fox is a defensive guru (score!), that he "rebuilt" the Panthers after a 1-15 year (yes!), and he made the playoffs as the number one seed as recently as 2008 (whoo hah!)
Detractors point that Fox is another retread (d'oh!), that his last team went 2-14 (jeepers!), that he isn't known as a offensive guy (oh shit Tebow!), and that he only made the postseason three times in nine years (the horror!)
The SG has its own breakdown: yes, Fox made it to the Super Bowl. He played the Patriots and nearly won the game if not for a late Patriots kick. But to hell with that Super Bowl, because most people remember that game not for Jake Delhomme, Steve Smith, Tom Brady, or a late kick. The star of that Super Bowl was Janet Jackson's titty. Donk football: from Coach Hoody to Coach Booby.
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Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Player to be Named Later

I'm sailing on a cloud, they trailing below
my shrink told me it's a feeling they'll never know

Everyday there seems to be a new twist in the Melo Trade Saga, from additional teams entering the fold, to players being included. Throw in salaries, draft picks, contract stipulations, condidtions of local parole officers, stalkerish groupies in certain cities, and you have a colossal clusterfuck.

(There, I said, it: clusterfuck. Say it more often in 2011, it will enhance your career and home life. Your kids have toys strewn about the house? Walk in and just bellow, "this is a clusterfuck!" When someone isn't pulling their weight at work, in a real calm tone tell them, "Jenkins, your work performance has become quite the clusterfuck.")

The SG has acquired who exactly will be receiving what in the Melo to the Universe trade.

NETS: Melo, Chauncey, Nerve Tonic, and a case of leftover Rocky Mountain Oysters left over from yesterday's inauguration. Carla from Newark doesn't need to know what they really are.

NUGS: A bunch of dudes. A bunch of picks. Lots of empty seats.

PISTONS: A rough copy of one of Jay-Z's early songs and an autographed photo from Beyonce. (NOTE: not of Beyonce, but maybe one of those two chicks that used to be in that group with her)

ROCKETS: A step stool from the the Nuggets equipment shed that was believed to be left form the Earl Boykins Era.

WASHINGTON GENERALS: Meadowlark Lemon and that Curly guy. Payback's a bitch.

AC MILAN: Beno Udrih. Any player named after a product that helps with flatulance needs to keep his ass in Europe.

ARBYS #234 IN FRISCO, TEXAS: Somehow, they end up with Troy Murphy.

MY KID'S DAYCARE: Rip Hamilton's face mask thing. That way they can spend hour after hour after hour wearing it around and yelling "boo" at eachother.

DAVID STERN: A select handful of NBA "Super Teams" that will gradually morph into highly trained commando units bent on overthrowing world governments. (Evil laugh)

SLUSHY GUTTER: With no Melo, a lot less material, which in turn makes this blog even more unreadable.

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Thursday, January 06, 2011

'10 Again: Top Hip Hop Albums

1- Dark Time Sunshine- Vessel- DTS comes with a subtle and melodic, yet hard hitting offering that will have the listener not passing over a single track. Onry Ozzborn flows effortlessly over producer Zavala’s tracks, most notably the early track “Now They Know” which will have you humming or singing its addictive hook hours later. One track seemingly bleeds without any gap into another. It isn’t all smooth gravy and grooves, as the posse cut “Primor” is an ill banger featuring wicked guest verses from POS and Aesop Rock.

2- Homeboy Sandman- The Good Sun- A tremendous assembly of playful rhymes, artsy and hard hitting beats, timely cameos (Fresh Daily in particular on "Table Cloth,") and the never tired rhymes railing on commercial Hip Hop ("Gucci, Fendi, Prada? All I hear is yada yada yada,”) The Queens MC brings together an eclectic cast of producers including Pyscho Les, Ski Beatz, and Ben Grimm. The latter lacing "Mean Mug" where Home Sand goes against the grimy faces so prevalent in the game.

3- Celph Titled & Buckwild- Nineteen Ninety Now- Take a lyrical wordsmith with crazy punchlines and metaphors and couple him with a DITC beat master, mix, add an entirely mid-90s feel and you have a boom bap classic. The cameos are the year’s best with Treach coming with his best work since 95, Chino XL, RA The Rugged Man, Vinnie Paz and a defacto DITC reunion with Showbiz, OC, and Diamond D along with Sadat X and Grand Puba. Makes 2010 feel like 94 all over again.

4- Junk Science- A Miraculous Kind of Machine- Junk Science follows the Nuk Fam blueprint of crafting an album based on soulful beats, precise lyrics, and cameos that raise your eyebrow. Baje One and DJ Snafu follow it to near perfection on their 2010 release. “Really, Man” dives into an impromptu autobiography of Baje One, while Cool Calm Pete makes his annual highlight appearance on “Millins.” Tone Tank comes up on “Words From The Prez” talking 86 Mets and more random hilarious bars.

5- Super Chron Flight Brothers- Cape Verde- Follow The Super Chron Flight Brothers as they take a journey watching TV- from daybreak to night time. Splice in your favorite 70s, 80s, and 90s after school and Saturday morning treats and you have a journey through the mind of Billy Woods and Edge. But it is more than a recital of TV, it’s a veiled look at our society as we know it. Guest spots include Vordul Mega of Can O and Masai Bey. Even a tribute to the TV staple, cereal is worked in on “Golden Grams.”

6- Roc Marciano- The Marcberg- Raw, stripped down, and precise- that’s Roc Marciano's 2010 release. The Long Island MC paints a gritty picture with off-kilter flow and minimalistic beats. Following his collabs on Marco Polo and Pete Rock the ex-Flipmode member unfolds his story 1-14 on tracks like "Snow", "Thugs Prayer", and "Jungle Fever." Don't expect any big name producers as he handles all the work solo, not any "name" cameos to give this album any sing songy hooks or cred, because it just doesn't need it.

7- Eternia and Moss- At Last- MC Eternia likes to sport a shirt that reads “My favorite MC wears a skirt” and it is hard to argue with her after one listen to this joint. Perhaps the year’s most introspective album, with Eternia examining her own demons with family, love, and alcohol (the deep “Dear Mr. Bacardi.”) Moss’ on-point beats add to the T-Dot MC’s unique flow. A bevy of guests include Rah Digga, Lady of Rage (both on “The BBQ”), and a bangin Joell Ortiz collabo.

8- Rakaa- Crown of Thorns- After this banger Rakaa Iriscience will no longer be the “other guy” in Dilated Peoples. A classic LA underground feel with lyrics that would make any mainstream rap dude go back to stage one. With topics ranging from infidelity on “Delilah” to an old school throwback on “Human Nature” featuring KRS-One, Rakaa’s inauspicious soft flow over a variety of Evidence, DJ Honda and other SoCal beat concoctions.

9- Taiyamo Denku- Artcles of Mind- After an impressive lot of guest spots on this album: Prince Po, Keith Murray, Vast Aire (“Emcee’s Blueprint” – a track where the title means exactly what it says) and the posse cut dope that is “Problemaddict” (Pumpkinhead, Jise, and Urban Legend), Denku needs nothing more than some creative beats to display his raspy style of rhyme. He gets by with a true MC’s emotion and thoughtfulness on very track from play to end.

10- Luke- The Dopeness- Inspired in part by the movie The Wackness, (a must see for any Hip Hopper who came up in the 90s; the film's audio snippets are some of the best) Luke weaves a tale of trying to figure out young adulthood. For us beyond that age, it is a great grounding tale of yesteryear. And for those still living in that age or still trying to figure it out, it speaks loudly. Beats are smooth, nothing hardcore, with some catchy hooks and nice lyrics abound.

11- Nocando- Jimmy The Lock- A seasoned Los Angeles underground MC, Nocando brings his witty and sometimes rapid fire delivery correct on his 2010 release. The slowed down “Hurry Up and Wait” showcases his verbal skills early on, while “DSD2” is a hilarious joint with Iron Mike Eagle. As a whole, the album paints an off-the-hook picture of the LA scene, complete with girls, parties, drinking, relationships, and the Nocando’s life.

12- Tab Liv- The Vermont Tapes- Picture a road trip to the Northeast with your realest Hip Hop and drinking friends and you get the Vermont Tapes. Tab and Tone Liv come together for this original work breaking down the all American road trip on tracks like “Killington Slopes.” Of course the boozing aspect hits hard and funny on “Booze Hounds” and “Strong Dranks.” Don’t front on the last track as “Yesterdaze” is a soulful track with a laid back feel and hook.


Jimmy Powers- Califoreigner- Guest appearances from Slaine , Copywrite, and Blame One make this album from the Boston to Cali MC (complete with "Eastbound and Down" Kenny Powers' samples.)

PackFM- I Fucking Hate Rappers- A well known battle MC makes his mark with an album that singles out the all-too-lame personalities in Hip Hop. From bloggers, MCs, fans, to DJs- no one is immune.

Ruste Juxx and Marco Polo- The Exxecution- Anything that producer/DJ Marco Polo sets out for the Duck Down MC seems to satisfy, as Ruste Juxx gets his on tracks like the hardcore “Death Penalty.”

E.S.Q. & Chikaramanga- The Great Succession- The Giant Panda beatsmith teams with Chicago MC ESQ and they come correct, especially “My Intellect” which samples PRT’s “Rock Dis Funky Joint” as the hook.

Meth Rae Ghost- Wu Massacre- A host album of Wu “leftovers” is better than most offerings this past year. “It’s That Wu Shit” flips the old Biz Markie “Make The Music” beat to perfection.

Skyzoo and Illmind- Live From The Tape Deck- The Biggie-inspired “Speakers On Blast” and the subsequent remixes is one of the highlights of one NYC’s brightest young lyricists.

BACK IN THE DAY: 2006 Best, 2007 Tops, 2008 Aces, 2009 Bangers

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Monday, January 03, 2011

Donks At The Crossroads

Some quick thoughts on where the Broncos go from here after their 4-12 season came to an end with a loss to the Chargers:
-John Elway is in, but what will he really do? Apparently he will be the point man in the coaching search. Turning to a "family" guy to restore the luster? Where have we seen that recently? But does Elway have the connections and networking with the NFL high ups and managers to get the right guy? Running the football side of an operation is a heckuva lot daunting than running golf pro-ams and a Arena League team.
-Elway is in Miami this week for the Orange Bowl because a-he's a Stanford Alum; b-he is there to gauge Stanford coach Jim Harbaugh's interest in the Donks; c-he loves him some late 80's Miami Bass Music.
-I don't see why everyone is on Harbaugh's nuts. Coaching men and millionaires in teh NFL is a lot different than coaching braniacs and mechanical engineers at Stanford.
-Job one of any new coach is to get a patented, proven, real live Quarterbacks Coach whose job numero uno is working with Tim Tebow. In the film room, on the practice field, all off-season, follow him on South American missions, working every little detail. Someone like, say, Josh McDaniels.
-Let Champ go and let him be happy for a few years. It will suck to see him move to safety and most likely win a Super Bowl, but he put in his time here and the franchise owes it to him.
-Kyle Orton should fetch a 3rd or 4th round pick. He'll be starting somewhere next year, most likely the second most sought after QB after Donovan McNabb. There are a slew of journeymen QBs who can back up Tebow.

-If Brian Xanders is the guy at GM, Elway and Bowlen and the new coach have to step back and let him do his thing in the draft. The number two pick seems failsafe, but it can bite you in the ass with the wrong guy. DL get fat. CBs are always outer-wordly at the combine. Trading down might be in the works if Xanders isn't enamored with anyone post-Adrew Luck. That said, DaQuan Bowers is a beast.
-The right moves and suddenly a rebuilding project can be contending for the division title. Does anyone in the AFC West scare the Donks? The Chiefs with Matt Cassel are the Chiefs with Matt Cassel. The Raiders will be breaking in a new coach and have no proven QB. San Diego appears to be a the downside of their apex. A 9-7 season could win this thing in 2011.
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