Friday, June 20, 2008

Summer Beers 2008

For the second straight year, we offer with the first day of Summer, the Slushy Gutter Summer Beers Mix. This year, some of the characters from the SG offer up some suggestions for the playlist... (DOWNLOAD entire playlist at post's end)

Set it off with something that's like BAM, just right at cha to start it off proper!

Alright, Jason, will do in this case since you never set off a game by kicking the ball into the endzone. But I'm just bitter because Matt Prater or Gus the kicking mule will be the Donk kicker this year. But get it started all up in your face with Funkdoobiest's "The Funkiest." Compliment that by running to your fridge and just grabbin the first beer you see, perhaps a Rolling Rock some boyfriend of your wife's single friend brought over and has been sitting idly.

Yo brah, put on something I hear on the local indy station and I can totally hackey sack to...

Thanks Boulder Hippie dude, and we got something for ya, a member of The Living Legends, The Grouch featuring Rapheal Saadiq "Show You the World." The Grouch and Living Legends are a staple of the university scene. People who normally wouldn't know Nice and Smooth from a Raspberry Smoothie can mouth Living Legend's tunes. Hippie dude, grab yourself some of Lyon's finest Dale's Pale Ale and enjoy.

Fuck this pussy shit, throw some thug shit on or things are gonna get heated...

Sorry former Av player Chris Simon, we'll do just that. How about a little Fiddy and "Guns Come Out?" I know he's criticized and put down across the mean net streets, and his endless disses get real old, but damn. This beat is just mad hot, Dr. Dre absolutely killed it...which may not be such a great metaphor around you Chris. Crank it up, slash some dudes and enjoy with some an old tough Mickey's wide mouth.

Speak to me Commish, give me something to motivate, to inspire, to verbalize. This ain't intramurals...it's division one mix tapes!

Sure thing Coach Hawk. Since you are the man of 1000 quotes and quips and pearls of wisdom, let's go back to the Afrocentric beats and rhymes of X-Clan's "Grand Verbalizer What Time is It?" Brother Jay and (RIP) professor X could probably fill your pregame speeches with enough material to last a couple seasons. Hawk, win a few more games this year and you can listen to this track with a crisp Buffalo Gold.

Club banger Commish, something for us honies...

Don't tell Melo that I'm doing this for you LaLa, but I will throw in the Busta Rhymes remix of "Don't Touch Me (Throw Some Water on Em)." Plus this remix has about every MC in the history of mankind- Big Daddy Kane, Lil Wayne, George Karl. Okay, I made up the George Karl part, but I bet it perked Melo up eh? Enjoy Busta and crew with an Amstel Light.


How about some old West Coast shit? Dude, your always fronting on the West...

Hey Rocky, what the hell do you know about the West Coast? I don't see you throwing up the 'W' when you're trying that over the back half court shot. To keep you happy though, Mr. Mountain Lion, I'll give you the icon from the West, Tupac Shakur and "Old School." Yeah, it's not your typical West Coast riding song, but it'll get your head nodding enough to get hyped up to clock Charles Barkley in the nuts. Grab a straw and a Modelo with a lime.

Naw, man some real old West Coast shit!

Sorry Subway Cold Cut Trio, I was unaware you and the LA scene go back further than 95. For you and your turkey, ham, and fresh bread, I have some Rodney O & Joe Cooley with "Everlasting Bass." That's West Coast history with In and Out burger, lowriders, and palm trees right there. Keep with the theme and go with a Pacifico, but add some of that 79 cent lime powder you see next to the register at gully liquor stores everywhere.

I know you got some Doom in there; you got the Doom fever, I won't tell...

Yes, Boris, I am a big MF Doom fan. Like cartoon and comic nerds, us Doom fans are somewhat of the same ilk. So, check some King Geedorah, another of Doom's aliases and "Fine Print." Don't front though, Doom's beats have appeared all over the underground and he goes back to the "Gas Face" days for all those old school piners. In fact Boris, to celebrate old Metal Face, grab me and you Sam Adam's Summer Ale and crack that ish and lets dine on squirrel.

Turntabilsm man, get me some ill cutting and scratching...

Dante, I know you had some quick hands, so you can appreciate what the DJ can still do in this Hip Hop game. Further more, do with an actual record and turntable, not a scratch pad or computer. Dante, while not always hustling in the outfield, would love him some Eydea and Abilities' "Now." Hot damn, the cutting on this record will make you wear out you Pop's 1978 stylus and have running for a cold Pabst Blue Ribbon.

The God, son, the GOD...

Speak the truth, dead Egyptian mummy, speak on em. Any mix tape would be remiss without the Greatest of All Time, Rakim Allah. Dig into his off-album library for "Heat It Up" from the movie "Gunmen." Bad movie...great song, except for Ra sporting a Texas hat on the single cover. Pop this track in when you're basking in the 100 degree weather and crack an ice cold, I mean, ice cold, smooooooooooth Coors Light. and if you can't get it through the bandages, dead Egyptian mummy, we can just soak them in Golden's finest.

Woof woof woof...bark...grrrrr. Woof woof, grrrrr, grrrr, bark bark!

Easy one, dog. I know I describe your bodily functions as the way many a Colorado teams are playing from time to time. We'll make it a no brainer: "Dog Shit" by Wu-Tang Clan. Ahh, a forgotten track from the Wu's second album. We haven't forgot, we are reminded of it each time we think of the 07 Donks or a Nugs' playoff series. We'll ease your pain with a dog dish full of Blue Moon and an orange slice. Bow wow.

How about some new stuff that has kind of flown under the radar, something to check for? Something to roll dice to?

Good call, backgammon board. You're always the forward thinking one and for that I give you The Knux's "Cappuccino." This song should've got a hell of a lot more run this past spring (yo, and check the remix if you can- a true remix with a different beat, not a remix EVERY cat does with a couple different lyrics and the same beat), but we aint mad, are we backgammon? Keep an eye out for them the rest of year and pass me a Moose Drool.

What about the D? The Motor City be putting hell of good stuff the last ten years.

Come on Chauncey, the 'D' is your hometown my man. But I can't forget about Detroit, except for the Red Wings. Check a bit of Slum Village and "Raise it Up" featuring the legendary Jay Dilla. I don't sip 'Mo/I ain't never popped Cris'/This Rollie just don't look right sitting on my wrist...vintage Dilla right there, son. Chauncey, I know you're still bumming from the Celtic beat down, so drown you sorrows with Colorado's own Yellow Dog, aka Coors Original.

Holy crap, all this beer and dancing and bobbing, I got to take a leak!

I'm not sure how an entire arena takes a piss, drinks beer, or even dances. But, hey, you are the boss McNichols Arena. Even though you are technically a parking lot right now...this keeps getting stranger. I'll throw on a longer track for you, old school JVC Force's "Strong Island," you can channel the Nassau County Coliseum or something while you find a giant Portapotty. Afterwards, get yourself some high alcohol Reverend to take the edge off.

Hit me with some old rappers doing some new shit! (Cough cough)

Aight, box of Newports. EPMD, they still got it, and for added measure they brought along KRS-One on the new track "Run It." Yes, I'm aware it sounds like something from one of the early "Business..." albums, that the beat is something on "Old School Lunch" or whatever they call it. That is exactly while it is hot to death. So grab a old coleman cooler, with dirty water and your daughter's Juicy Juices and chill out a Haystack Wheat from Left Hand Brewery.

Just one more, no specific song, whatever, I just want to drink a beer and listen to something that will get me excited. Oooh, Commish gets me excited.

Well, ahem, thank you Carmen, but I don't think that Mrs. Commish would quite approve. And given you been poked out by Deniss Rodman, Prince, Dave Navarro, and B-Real, The Commish's penis health appreciates her discretion too. So, see your way out from the Slush Gutter Summer Beers 2008 with a simple classic, The Jungle Brothers' "How You Want it We Got It," and enjoy with a Summer Bright Ale from Breckenridge Brewery.


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9 Comments:

Blogger Hercules Rockefeller said...

Good shit.

9:14 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I regularly skip the rap parts of this blog, but on a whim I downloaded this. My rap experience is limited to a couple Public Enemy cds my roommate once had. That track with the turntable is unbelievable. I looked for the Eyedea CD at Target, they didn't have it. I really didn't know that could be done with a needle. Thanks.

8:42 AM  
Anonymous skyler ulbrecht said...

First I ordered one of those Breckenridge beers this weekend, then I see Melo's wife on TV...so I downloaded the mix. My 3yr old thinks the Busta Rhymes song is coolest thing ever.

7:54 AM  
Blogger vincentlopez said...

'Strong Island' was my ish in high school!!!!

10:54 AM  
Anonymous cheeto mcdick said...

The Grouch is aight, he cool. hadn't heard Run It, Erick n Parrish still kickin,

2:37 PM  
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