Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Liknuts: "Grumpy Crocodile"

SG favorites the Alkaholiks have teamed up with The Beatnuts to form Liknuts. While it might sound like a simple cute play on words, when you bring four deft MCs and the beat making ability of these dudes into the mix, you'll get some bangers. "Grumpy Crocodile" fits into that category. No verse disappoints ("I piss on the ground because I'm pissed at the ground" raps J-Ro) in this taste of what's to come.


Friday, May 25, 2012

Been Five Years Since Ya Last Beer

Five years ago, some friends of mine. Memorial Day is a special holiday here at the SG. One, it is the start of Summer, and this crap is called Slushy Gutter Summer. But it also marks the beginning of the summer drinking season. And no more was that on display than it was five short years ago, when I expanded on the original "Slushy Gutter Summer" (me drinking 528 beers in a summer) into the 2007 version where the SG Crew tried to gulp down 5280 beers in the summer.

You can reminisce about it right here, and we promise Pete Rock won't get mad at you.

Thinking back, doing the math, seeing the numbers, it stands pretty impressive. That's a lot of hooch. Enough to keep the frat house going for a weeks. Or a Charlie Sheen party.

Fast forward from that summer and here we are five years older and definitely not any wiser. There have been no calls to get the band back together and frankly that's a good thing. The odds of us pulling off the 5280 mark would be steeper than the Rockies winning the NL pennant. Our livers are tired, some tastes have gone to other spirits, and more importantly, enough kids have going the SG Crew family to power a small sweat shop.

5280 beers was so 2007. 2012? We could reach it if Juicky Juices, Sprites, and Capri Suns were included. Slushy Gutter, indeed...

RELATED: Pete Rock - "Tru Master"

Labels: ,

Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Clueless Dick

By now, Dick Monfort's (he of the fortune amassed from beef and lots of it) comments about the state of the Rockies are all over radio, TV, and the papers. The reaction from Rockies Nation has been a collective "WTF?" Many are calling to stay away from the games. But for a good number is that really an option? I'm not going to stay away from the fun that is Coors Field on a beautiful Colorado summer day or night.

Can social media influence the Rox brain trust? ("Brain" trust used loosely.) If Dick thinks Dan O'Dowd is the best GM is baseball, do we really think they even know how to log onto the internet? The same organization that f*cked up their 'net sale during the World Series that it became an almost bigger story than the team? They think "www" at 20th and Blake is the sound you make when exhaling.

Banners at the game? Not allowed, or the Purple Ushers and their gray hair will humiliate you.

Sagging ratings? Hah, those ads are prepaid! Merchandise sales? But this new red 'CR' cap with a giant MLB logo on the side is so gangsta.

So basically all of us suckers are left to sit through this crap that Dick and crew say is a good way to spend our money and time. Year of the Fan has turned into Year of getting bad baseball rammed up up our collective rears.

RELATED: Biz Markie - "Vapors" - ("Radio, TV, and even the press...")


Friday, May 18, 2012

Bees Coming Thru

The SG got off on a big tangent yesterday when a swarm of bees decided to settle just above the Rockies dugout. The bees were taken care of after a short delay (by a dude with a vaccum/Floobee hair cutting machine.)

At the time the Rockies were ahead, seemingly cruising to their third (gasp!) straight win.

The bees would get the credit. Much like the old Florida Panthers' rat and the Angels' rally monkey, the bees rep would grow bigger. The team would reel off some wins and get back into contention. Crucial moments at Coors you'd hear the buzz of a swarm over the PA. People would come dressed as bees. The bars around 20th and Blake would sell witty shirts ('Let It Bee'; 'Bee-lieve') to the masses. The SG would link up constant Wu-Tang videos in the RELATED link. Stuffed bees, honey tinged drinks, dudes dressed as beekeepers, the section abopve the bee site would be 'The Hive', Tommy Boy "bees!" quotes, a damn cultural phenomenom would carry the Rox all summer.

Then the Rockies went Rockies. Game over with another blown loss. These bees have lost their sting. Someone pass the Raid.

RELATED: Slick Rick - "It's A Boy" - ("...taught him birds and bees...")


Wednesday, May 16, 2012

El-P Late Night

While Letterman isn't exactly Arsenio when it comes to Hip Hop, from time to time they'll reserve the last five minutes of the show (as was last night's case) to bring on some MCs. El-P was that dude last night and while it wasn't the traditional one MC and one DJ, he came off quite well with "Stay Down" off his new Cancer For Cure album. Paul and the fellas stayed on the sideline as El Producto blazed through the track and even played some sort of weird Casio-like mini piano. Check it, even Arsenio would give a thumbs up.


Friday, May 11, 2012

Nuggets Just Sick

Hey did you know that Kobe Bryant was sick last night during the Nuggets game? However overplayed (or orchestrated) that was, the Nuggets didn't roll over and play Rolaids for Kobe and cruised to a easy victory. Ty Lawson went absolutely off, Corey Brewer was so smooth off the bench, and a hard foul on The Manimal sent the Nuggets into overdrive to bury the LA crew.
Game Seven, here come the Powder Blues. The last time they visited they weren't even the Powder Blues, but rather the Burgundy Brigade. (Side note: the last Game Seven in 1994 versus the Jazz was the same day as my graduation party. Nuggets lost that game in the afternoon, I got in a wicked fight with then-girlfriend at said party, the neighborhood 40-somethings got pissy drunk, and the normal young adult hijinks ensued. Good times.)

Game Seven will certainly test this young team. The Lakers will hold a Saturday Night home court, Metta World Peace will be back to bang with Faried and Company, and Kobe will have 48 hours to slurp Gatorade or sugar water or Jack Nicholson's armpit sweat.

What is the Nugs game plan for that LA advantage? As we've seen, get up early, get in Bynum's dome, and hold on with clutch shots (any more clutch than Andre Miller and his unkempt hair?) If that doesn't work, there's always a mickey we can slip into Kobe's salad.

RELATED: Cypress Hill- "Phuncky Feel One" - ("Just an ass kickin is what you inherit...")


Tuesday, May 08, 2012

Xanders Exit

John Elway and Brian Xanders decided that Xanders and the Broncos would be parting ways. A few reasons behind this "mutual" split:

-Xanders grew real tired of Elway always playing Xzibit's "X" everytime they had a meeting.
-We all know how competitive Elway is, and he just couldn't stand "Xanders" being more than "Elway" in Scrabble.
-Xanders figured if there was ever a time to try his hand at being a starting piticher, the local NL baseball team up the street might need one.
-Elway is famous for his "helicopter" play, while Xanders cried everytime the copter crashed in "Airwolf" back in the 80s. That was always awkward in the office.
-Xanders never got over Elway not discipling Pau Gasol for the hard shoulder he threw in the hallway.
-Elway got word that Josh McDaniels was texting Xanders under the name "TV Repair Guy" in his phone.
-Xanders knew that if Elway wanted an official "yes man" that it would eventually come back to Sammy Winder.
-Elway was mad that Xanders ever cleaned the break room microwave, while Xanders was peeved Elway always ordered those fancy Rollerball pens while he had to toil with a Bic.

RELATED- Snoop Dogg f/Xzibit - "B Please"


Friday, May 04, 2012

RIP MCA of The Beastie Boys

Like many a white suburban kid, I go way back with the Beastie Boys. I copped that Licensed To Ill a few scant months after the seminal Summer of 1986 in which saw me turn to Hip Hop and never go back. At first I was enthralled. Party rhymes, hooks that made no sense to me at the time, hard beats, and tales of wayward adventures. Gradually as my mainstream classmates extolled the Beasties as the "greatest ever" in rap, I drifted away from the group. Their rhymes now seemed trivial and juvenile in the It Takes A Nation era.

Their second joint, Paul's Boutique brought me back into their fold. It was a literal cosmic slop that had a new turn at every song. (Any Hip Hop fan should pick up the 33 1/3 book on the album; a tremendous read.) Then, bam, they were gone again, and they were seemingly buried in the next few years as the West Coast gangsta scene and East Coast Boom Bap scene overtook the genre. With 92's Check Your Head and 94's Ill Communication, the Beasties reserved their place in Hip Hop as innovators and true purveyors of the culture. "Get It Together" with Q-Tip? C'mon, tell me that doesn't get the head nodding. The Soul Assassins remix of "So'Watcha Want"? Bangin.

The news of MCA's passing has shook Hip Hop to its essence. Check Twitter from the reaction. Was he an icon? You bet. He opened up the scene from a New York thing to the global force it is in 2012. And as a lyricist, I truly believe MCA was the most talented of the "three bad brothers." From his raspy delivery, his ability to jump into a song and utilization of old school call and response rhymes, MCA was the most complete MC in the group.

RIP MCA, get that sleep all the way to Brooklyn and beyond...