Thursday, October 10, 2013

Rockies Go Decktober

Who doesn't love a good party deck? Chilling in the sun with a cold beverage, yacking it up wth the crew, checking out the hotties. Yep, the days of Summer are complete with a good deck. Although when said deck is at a Major League Baseball game, it throws somewhat of a big splinter into the normal deck experience. (back in the day, I used to get a kick out of simply erasing a few lines and changing "deck" into "dick" on restaurant and bar signage, ie "Come and enjoy our fully stocked outdoor bar and dick!"

Yes, the Brothers Monfort announced the complete transformation of upper right field into a party deck. Because you want partyers up there rather than, say, baseball fans. Ever trapsed up to upper right field? There's a reason it is called "upper", Sherpas and/or billy goats may be sighted. Climbing that high to "party" should mix well with alcohol and sun dresses.

The standard rage from Purp fans is to put the deck money (again, do some erasing and it's "dick money", which may be correct when discussing ownership) into the product on the field. But Brother Dick is ready for you pesky fans and slaps back that the renovation cash is coming from the stadium district. Ah yes, the stadium district. Anyone who thinks the stadium district and team that plays in said stadium aren't intertwined probably thinks ESPN and ABC are completely separate networks. Dick Boy also adds that the most this will cost the team is a "one year contract on a utility player." Because why would a team accustomed to playing long games with plenty of pinch hitters need one of those?

So while enjoying one of your 50 plus Colorado microbrews (standard microbrew at a tasting room is $5+, so at the stadium, just be prepared to give them your watch as payment), talking to some dude in a pair of boat shoes and a day glo tanktop, and ogling some chick dancing to "Gasolina", remember this is National League Baseball at its finest.

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