Monday, September 24, 2012

Awww, Man(ning)

The popular cries from Donk Land today:

-The Falcons and Texans are the top teams in the league --- It's hard to argue with having both squads in the top five, if not top three, in the league.  And in reality, if the Broncos make two crucuail 3rd down stops in consecutie weeks, they are 3-0 and in the discussion.  But this isn't Dan Hawkins juice box football, there's no moral victories.  Games are scheduled so there's a winner and loser, no points given for "trying hard"

-Peyton Manning is "off" --- Is PFM at the Super Bowl in Miami level?  Of course not, but if someone brings Prince to perform "Purple Rain" out for him, maybe he reverts back to that level.  Peyton at the level he's at now is still better than the Bronco's last three QB options.  The problem is the coaching staff putting him in the best position to win?  How many Willis MacGahee draws can the team use?  Mike McCoy was a miracle worker last year changing to suit Tim Tebow, but his best chance this year with PFM might be just get out of the way.

-The WRs are not catching on --- When your top WR is a dude who was out of football last year, your corps are looking weak.  Demaryious Thomas wasn't there yesterday; on the long pass he should've got both feet down.  Eric Decker had good numbers, but that girly slide isn't going to get him any points or more credit union commericals.  After those three, there's absolutely no one.  Matt Willis can't get open and Andre Caldwell must have naked picts of John Fox's wife, becaus he doesn't even play.

-The draft this year is already a bust --- Ronnie Hillman is not the next Darren Sproles.  He isn't even the next Darren Stevens at this point (Hillman would get buried by Stevens and Tate on the Oatmeal account.)  And you have Brock Osweiller carrying a clipboard.  Think both of those spots could have went to help the LB contingent (oh, and congrats to Joel Mays for joining Mike Tyson in the ear remover class)?  How about an OL to come in for Manny Ramirez, who is getting abused right now.

RELATED: Brand Nubian - "Hold On" - (" the mind is definitely a winner")


Tuesday, September 11, 2012

Talent Upgrade in Boulder

Everyone see Colorado's own Missy Franklin during the coin flip of the Broncos-Steelers game? Us Coloradoans love to embrace our own, and Missy is certainly fitting that bill. She's let it be known that she will swim in college, with all the swimming powerhouses garnering looks (USC, Georgia, Cal- not sure why Grand Lakes University isn't getting any looks though. Their dive team has always been strong. )

The local school up the road from Donk Home doesn't have a swim team (or baseball, or softball, or wrestling...but we have the most gnarly Ultimate Frisbee team and you can't f*ck with our beer pong game.) Too bad, because Colorado's sweetheart would look good in Black and Gold.

However, maybe it's time for CU to get creative. Missy Franklin: Six foot plus, long, fluid, flexible, competitive. Folks, your new starting cornerback for the CU Buffs, Missy Franklin.

RELATED: Action Bronson - "Shiraz" - ("Swimming trunk, to accentuate the ankle, eyes blues, put the children money in the banko")

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Thursday, September 06, 2012

Still Stinging

It's been a few days and the collective guts of CU fans ares till smarting after the loss to the little brother from CSU. The beauty of football (outside of early-90's Nate Netwon posing nude for your art class) is that there's usually another game after the one you just upchucked all over the field.

For the Buffs that would be the Sacramento State Hornets. No, not the Sacramento Knigs, there won't be any dudes named Jimmer sacking Buff QBs. The Hornets hail from the Big Sky Conference, home to another FCS team, Montana State, who famously beat the Buffs in 06 (and prompted four time SG winner to yell at Dan Hawkins as he left the field, "honeymoon's over, asshole!")

Sacramento (my wife spent a few months in California when Arnold was govenor so each time I hear the word 'Sacramento' it rings in an Arnold accent. Try it: "Sahhcrahmentoh") State lost by a big score to the New Mexico State Aggies last week, and are picked by Big Sky experts to finish ninth in the league. That is of little solace to Buff fans, who are cringing over an inept passing game, coaching blunders, and special team's miscues just a few short days ago.

In short, these Hornets could extend the Buffs' sting if the team plays anything like last week.

RELATED: Lost Boyz f/ Tha Dogg Pound - "Music Makes Me High (Remix)" - (" on it like a hornet kickin dat in your stomach")

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