Thursday, December 30, 2010

'10 Again: Top CO Sports Moments

1-Just a handful of teams have never had a no-hitter, and the Colorado Rockies, forever pitching deficient and playing in a slap happy park, seem destined to be mired on that list for eternity. Until a non-descript April night when Ubaldo Jiminez absolutely dealt a variety of heat to the Atlanta Braves for the franchise’s first non-no.

2-CU students say it best: We Black Out. In an electric environment versus a SEC power, the Buffs held on during a game that honored the 1990 National Championship for a 29-27 win over the Dawgs. UGA WR AJ Green made some spectacular plays in the contest, but LB BJ Beatty clinched it late with a forced fumble.

3-Tebow mania hit its apex in a post-Christmas Day game that saw Tim Tebow rally the team from a 17 point deficit and scamped in for the game winning TD with three minutes left. All year could be Tebow-worthy, from the draft to training camp to his Wildcat formations.

4-Down by nine runs in the ninth inning? That’s a “let’s get to the car early” moment. On a June night, the Rockies stormed back from the deficit and won 12-9 on a Seth Smith 3–run walkoff homer by Seth Smith. Aided by Cardinal walks and an error, the Rockies etched their biggest 9th inning comeback ever.

5-The CU nation knew it needed to emerge from the mess of the Hawkins’ years with a coach who would bring the fandom together. It got that with their “family” pick of former tight end and Coloradoan Jon Embree. The new head man immediately sent the message that CU was in the business of back to winning.

6-The Avs qualified for the NHL playoffs as a #8 seed and played toe to toe with the San Jose Sharks early in their first round series. An own goal by the Sharks in Game Three gave the Avs a series lead and had people talking hockey in the region for the first time since the early decade
glory years .

7-It’s been awhile since the fair state of Colorado won a championship, and thanks to the Colorado Rapids on a frigid night in Canada, we have our latest. A pretty decent MLS CUP saw the Rapids rally for a 2-1 win over FC Dalas and bring the title to Colorado.

8-For years there was an undercurrent that the west-leaning University of Colorado needed the Pac 10 conference (and vice-versa) and in June the school became it's 11th member. CU joins a conference that it fits into culturally, academically, socially as it leaves the Texas-centric Big 12 behind.

9-Vail's own Lindsey Vonn went into the Winter Olympics in Vancouver as America’s new “it” girl. She delivered with gold in the downhill and a bronze in the Super G. Equally important, we got to see more pictures of her in snow bunny bikinis for the next few months. USA! USA! USA!

10-Carmelo had brought the Nuggets a Tourney of the Americas and Olympic gold, but one of Colorado’s own, Chauncey Billups, brought the state a World Championship Gold this summer. Chauncey was a veteran presence and starting point guard on the USA’s first Championship since 1994.

2009 Tops
2008 Tops
2007 Tops
2006 Tops

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Tuesday, December 28, 2010

The Falcon Soars

My recital will form a musical brainstorm
Powerful sound waves where ear drums are torn...

Being a Colorado based institution, that their coach could be at the helm of the Donks next year, and that I wasn't doing anything constructive with my time on a Monday afternoon, I checked out the Air Force-Georgia Tech game yesterday. Not the sexiest matchup. Not a lot of explosive offense. Hell, even the 1994 NBA Finals thought it was a bit drab (except for the split screen of OJ in the white Bronco and Olajuwon dribbling in the low post versus Ewing for 17 seconds.)

However the best part of the game had to be the saga of the actual Air Force falcon, who once released in pre-game made a quick bolt out of the stadium. I've been to the Independence Bowl, and if not for the cold beer and Frito Pie (which one Louisianian told me I'd get "mud butt" if I ate) I'd want to hightail it out of there too.

But alas, they found the Falcon chilling in "downtown" Shreveport. I've also been to "downtown" Shreveport and unless the falcon had an interest in drab streetscapes, dated buildings, or the Hustler Club strip joint for some afternoon poon watching, getting back in his cage for the trip back to Colorado is definitely the better option.

RELATED: Defari f/ Xzibit, Tha Alkaholiks, and Phil Da Agony - "Likwit Connection" - ("Bruised falcon, strive for perfection like Malcolm...")


Wednesday, December 22, 2010


I like the following things: The Denver Nuggets, rap music, Run DMC's "Christmas In Hollis", and Christmas. So when I saw all of those things together in one place, it should be a good thing, right? Uh, wrong. Very wrong. So wrong.

After hearing my favorite hoops team attempt to rap and ruin the classic Run DMC track, I feel the need to purge their weakness by locking myself in a room and listening to Biggie, Rakim, and Lord Finesse for hours on end.

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Monday, December 20, 2010

Tebow's Time to Rain

PROPS and DROPS from Tim Tebow's debut loss to the Raiders:
PROPS: The SG isn't in the business of "grading" players (if we gave ourselves grades it would be one of those 'NA' grades that the total deadbeats used to get because they simply didn't show up) but I'd give Tebow a simple B grade for yesterday. His throws got better as the day went on, and while they didn't appear to have too much zip, he did get some balls into some tight spots. On the ground, he looked great. He isn't going to juke jocks off, but he has a great ability to finding the crease and breaking simple arm tackles. That was evident on his TD run. Go ahead and insert the "I like to find the crease too" jokes now.
DROPS: Tebow's best pass was the strike he threw to Lance Ball in the front corner of the endzone between two Raiders. However, Ball muffed it like Bill Buckner in the 86 Series. Make that catch and the game's momentum changes.
PROPS: As a classic Hip Hop fan, I love Darren McFadden's nickname Run DMC. As a Bronco fan, I hate Darren McFadden running all over our defense.
DROPS: Swaths of empty seats at Oakland Alameda Coliseum. Too bad MC Hammer didn't buy them all to lift the blackout.
DROPS: Perhaps the play indicative of how dreadful the Donk defense has been all year was on Marcell Reese's long TD run. David Bruton was is great position to tackle Reese after about 15 yards. Keep in mind this is a defensive back trying to tackle a fullback, who normally aren't the most shifty ball carriers. Reese made a simple "move" to his left and Bruton whiffed completely. Your dog not buying the fake tennis ball throw thought it was a weak move.
DROPS: With some other teams winning, this Bronco team has a legit shot at the top draft pick in the NFL draft. Not a top five pick, the number one pick. Should make for some interesting decisions at Dove Valley with one Andrew Luck available at QB.
RELATED: Run DMC - "Ooh, What You Gonna Do?"

Thursday, December 16, 2010

Tebow Will Tame Oaktown?

I have a quest to have the mic in my hand
Without that, it's like Kryptonite and Superman...

Like every Denverite, Colorado Orange And Blue Blood, and fans of the Donks throughout the country, the SG wants to see Tim Tebow start this Sunday.

Not because the season is over. Not because Kyle Orton has more recently looked like a women's field hockey player out there. Not because I don't wont to see 25,000 empty seats at Invesco in a couple weeks.

I want to see the messiah, just a few scant days before Christmas, go into Oakland's Black Hole as the anti-Grinch. He'll turn those freaks into #15 fans quicker than Rocky turned the entire Russian arena into rabid USA fans.

How could they not resist the charm, the sleek play, and the goodwill that Tim will bring to the game? The Black Hole would be renamed "The Rainbow Hole," rather than stabbing fans of the other team, they would offer a warm salted pretzel, and Darth Raider would find the good side of the Force.

RELATED: Big Daddy Kane - "Nuff Respect" ("comes higher than the messiah...")


Tuesday, December 14, 2010

SG Bowl Pick Em 2010

I talk sense condensed into the form of a poem
full of knowledge from my toes to the top of my dome...

It must be December and CU must be on the outside looking in at the Bowl Season again. Hey, there's only 34 bowl games and 68 available spots, so that happens. Bowls take any BCS team with a pulse and a 500 record. Again, thanks Hawk.

That doesn't mean that you have to sit by and watch the bowls go by (from this weekend through January 10th. Nearly as long as March Madness, makes perfect sense.)

Join the 34th annual SG Bowl Pick Em. As per usual the winner of the pool gets the grand prize of absolutely nothing. If you win you'll join such past winners as that one guy and that other guy with the witty pick set name. Good Luck.

Yahoo College Pick Em
Group ID# = 24614
password = beer


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Wednesday, December 08, 2010

Done in Donk Land

Observations from the McDaniels firing, the Studesville interim, and all the drama unfolding at Dove Valley:

-So John Elway and Pat Bowlen had dinner at Elway's Steakhouse the night after the firing 1- I wonder if Elway made Bowlen pay? 2- Over/Under on the Cougar Count on Mondays at Elway's?

-Eric Studesville's prior job: RB coach in Buffalo. Pedigree.

-Some coaches just have that presence and physical stature that screams "coach." Put Studesville and McD in a lineup and you pick Studesville as a coach and McD as a cell phone kiosk manager.

-Seriously, who is this Joe Ellis dude? I miss the old Pat Bowlen in his 1980's oversized shades and pinstripe suits, the pimped out fur coat, and bellowing "this one's for John" after the Super Bowl. (I'd like to see some rapper named 'John' take that sound bite and work it into a track. But DO NOT Autotune it or I will forever have visions of T-Pain handing #7 the Lombardi Trophy.)

-Bowlen was such the man back in the day that some dudes I knew in college named their bong "Pat Bowl"

-I'm guessing the 3/4 sleeve hoody sweatshirts won't be the hot Christmas gift this year.

- "Yes, Mr. Hawkins, we received your resume and Mr. Ellis has it now. Yes, I realize this ain't intramurals."

-There's got to be some Irish group somewhere that finds it naseuating that everything with Josh is tagged "Mc-something." We get it, "McDone, McFired, McDone." Expect protests outside the various media outlets. No car bombs please.

RELATED: Shyne - "Bad Boyz" - ("Think he just finished...")


Monday, December 06, 2010

Ho Hum Donks Done

You tried to get cool and say peace, save that peace for a jigsaw
Stay back and watch a real MC get raw...

DROPS: If you have come to expect the hard hitting analysis on Mondays from the SG you really need to bookmark ESPN or something where you get more than "the QB from the other teams looks like (famous actor.)" However, there will be even less in the wake of the Donks playoff-eliminating loss to the Chiefs. Why? Apathy. That's a big word around Denver lately: fan apathy. The Commish subscribed to it during the game, choosing instead to decorate the Festivus Pole and get all holiday-ish around the crib while seeing bits and pieces of the game. Unfortunately, I think many fellow Donk fans did the same. Wait until the last two home games of the year, as I hear the "stay home to send a message" chant spreading throughtout the airwaves and interwebs. Good seats available.

PROPS: Knowshon Moreno broke off some key runs and posted some big yards. Is he finally getting his legs after battling injuries for two years? Is the Donk OL gelling after injuries decimated them over the enitre season? Or was it simply luck with KC defenders not playing very well and the fact outside of Tamba Hali (cool name, reminds me of a late 1980s rapper with a dashiki and Africa medallion. By the way, was it cool for white or Hispanic kids to wear those medallions? Because I knew kids who did everyday) the Chiefs are pretty slim on defense?

DROPS: Passes to the tight end are basically non-existant in McHoody's offense. All short range passes are to backs out of the backfield. That's a problem when one of your highest paid players in Daniel Graham is basically running aimlessly on passes and blocking the rest of the time.

DROPS: Nice bro hug between McD and Todd Haley at the conclusion of the game. What Magic Johnson and Isiah couldn't coax you two into kissing eachother?

DROPS: Kyle Orton looked absolutely awful. His passes had no zip and they were off the mark by several yards. One has to wonder if all the early season chucking it around the yard has taken it's toll on Orton's arm. Check him out, it's not like he's a physical specimen behind center. Orton has had the timeless ability to no be able to finish games or lead game winning drives. Perhpas he is similar to a pitcher getting into the ninth inning running out of gas.

RELATED: X-Clan - "Funkin Lesson"


Friday, December 03, 2010

All In The Family

Homecoming is coming a few months early to Boulder. The folks on in The Republic tabbed one of their own, Jon Embree, to become the new football coach.
He won't be just a "normal" football hire either. He'll be charged with leading the Buffs back to a bowl game after their longest non-bowling stretch in nearly three decades. He'll lead the Buffs into a new conference, one that currently boasts the nation's top ranked team, a tradition rich program in LA, a new power in Utah, and some of the most picteresque locales in college football. He'll need to galvanize a disgruntled alumni base, a disenchanted group of former players, and the casual football fan along the Front Range who only pays attention to Boulder when a ranked opponent stops by. He'll be the first minority coach in the program's history. He'll need to assemble staff from the pieces of a staff that span back one, two, three, even four head coach's back. He'll have to re-establish his Colorado High Schools ties from his days in Colorado that date back to the Cherry Creek powers of the 80s. And he'll have to gain the trust of the existing team who have never tasted success.
So that's all. Sounds easy enough.

Embree doesn't have the sizzle of the big names or hot coordinators. He can't talk all Zen and yell and scream like the last coach. He's never been a head coach. He could be the next Karl Dorrell. But he does have one thing and that's Black and Gold flowing through his veins. He's knows traditon, the greats before, and he knows Colorado. And lately Colroado hasn't known much other than losing.

RELATED: Onyx - "Slam Harder"


Wednesday, December 01, 2010

Tulo's Millions

Tanks gonna be full, to rappers wanna tempt me
I break the steering shift and leave em empty...

Troy Tulowitzki became a very wealthy man yesterday, thanks to the new contract The Purp gave him. Some changes you might see at Coors Field the next few years as a result:
--When the "Tulo" chant comes up, you will be required to clap with two crips five dollar bills that Tulo will supply.
--Rather than be introduced by some witty pop song, Tulo will only step to the plate with 2000s southern Hip Hop that brags about money. He will accentuate the song by using a diamond encrusted batting helmet.
--In an effort to counter CarGo's Taco Bell commercial with the girl in purple with the phat ass, Tulo has hired the entire cast from "Baby Got Back" to be in his Taco John's commercial.
--Now that he is the "face of Denver sports", Tulo's people are plotting to lock Tim Tebow in a locker each and every football Sunday.
--Tulo will buy out the rest of Dinger's contract and replace him with a giant inflatable Billy Ray Cyrus.
--Keep an eye out on Coors Club Level because to be more like his hero Derek Jeter, Tulo actually had it wrote into his new contract that he is required to bang more Hollywood skanks, pop stars, and B-list TV actresses.
--Oh wait, Tulo is married? So what's the problem? Signed, Tony Parker. (Insert snooty French laugh here)
-- "Hey Dan, that humidor downstairs? Do you mind if I store this case of champagne and massive bag of bird feed in there? Uhh, no, there's no money in that bag of feed."
--Remember those crisp five dollar bills? Please deposit them into the collection boxes upon leaving for the Ubaldo and CarGo funds.
RELATED: Broadway - "Must Stay Paid"