Sunday, November 30, 2008

Kicked Away

So real hardcore hip-hop continue wreck it
And all sucker MC's duck down and get the message...

PROPS and DROPS from the Buffs' season ending heartbreaker and the Broncos' frigid win versus the Jets:

PROPS: The Buff special teams finally came to play; Aric Goodman made a kick (gasp!), kickoffs were deep, punting was average, and Josh Smith had the Huskers so rattled that they were squibing and popping kicks up. The day's and perhaps the Buffs' highlight of the year was a botched Husker fake FG, which Jimmy Smith sniffed out the holder flip (check the Boston College team for how to execute it) and took it to the house to tie the score going into half. The play was apparently a result of some scouting from Husker Head Yeller Bo Pelini's LSU days. However, the one DROP on special teams was on the pull-it-out-our-ass 57 yard game winner, which the Buffs didn't a) rush every player or b) burn their timeout to ice the kicker. Again, check Nick Saban who called a TO to perfection to make the Auburn kicker kick it twice-and miss. Think making their Napoleon Dynamite kicker lookalike kick it half a mile twice wouldn't have mattered?

PROPS: The Bronco short passing game reaped benefits and big chunks of yardage all day lon at he Meadowlands. Quick outs to Tony Scheffler, Daniel Graham, and Eddie Royal kept the Jets' secondary on edge all day and opened Brandon Stokely for the Broncos' final TD. Scheffler looks to be a full speed, as he was roaming free throughout the secondary most of the night. Most LBs will find it tough to match up with Scheffler, as he could even command double teams.

DROPS: The ABC telecast might as well have been on the Big Red Sports Network. Ron Franklin and Ed Cunnigham should turn in their journalist cards after that one. All afternoon the running commentary was decidely one-sided, on everthing from Husker fan's knowledge to how Nebraska "let down" when CU would score. Two teams in this game, fellas, let's call it even.

DROPS: Ditto for CBS' Rich Gannon during the Donks' telecast, who bungled names, calls, and offered bizarre analysis. And would it hurt in this technological world to get a camera that is immune to cold weather and moisture?

PROPS: The Donks' defesive backfield, still not at full capacity, had an admirable game against the NFL's hottest offense and QB in the Jet's Brett Favre. Vernon Fox, an afterthought from the waiver wire a few weeks back, had a solid game including a TD return on a fumble. Calvin Lowry, maligned on these pages in the past, stepped in when a litany of injuries befell the Donks in the NJ cold, stepped in and played well. Witness the final "garbage time" drive where the D stood tall when the Jets were in strictly pass mode and kept them out of the end zone.

PROPS: The best running performance at Invesco Field this year? That would be Wheat Ridge RB and CU commit Parker Orms, who tallied 275 yards and five TDs in their championship win.

DROPS: The CU defense, especially the DL, logged more time on the field than a mother in line at ToysR'Us this Friday. Nebraska was cracking off too long of runs on first downs, leaving the clock churning and managable second and third downs. The time of possession was particularly skewed by quick CU scores, but without the depth, the CU defense could never get that keen three-and-out.

RELATED: K.M.D. - "Peach Fuzz" - "I wanna grow up, cause maybe if I did then I wouldn't be treated like a Toys'R'Us kid when they counts ten upon my chin"

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Thursday, November 27, 2008

Buff Kicks

See I done chalked up another one
when I drop a ton
bring your favorite MC
and bring the light like the sun...

Denver native and former CU athlete is doing everything in his power to rescue the Nuggets from the bottom of the Western Conference and also be Denver's #1 hometown athlete. Besides giving back to the community in both Denver and Boulder, getting Melo to round out his game, donating more tickets than the local bingo halls, and making Kenyon Martin look like a NBA All-Star, Chauncey is now auctioning off 11 pairs of CU-inspired kicks he'll be wearing on Thanksgiving night. The proceeds will go to the Porter-Billups leadership academy. The name 'Porter' refers to coach Lonnie Porter of local Regis University, a near legend in these parts.

Not to be upstafed, former Nebraska and NBA player Eric Piatowski will be auctioning off two shingles and four feet of twine that he likes to rock on his feet. The auction will take place at Cletus' Farm Auctioneers the morning of the CU - Nebraska game.

RELATED: Why I Hate Nebraska- SG November 2007

RELATED: Heavy D f/ CL Smooth and VA - "Don't Curse" - "Thinking to be the last one wit the bad lingo, scooping on the skinz in the church from your bingo."


Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Baylor Born Again

Classical too intelligent to be radical,
Masterful, never irrelevant, mathematical...

The Local Nine finally got one thing right this offseason when they brought in Don Baylor to serve as Soul Patch Hurdle's hitting coach. Don't get it twisted, this isn't some Bill Synder back to try recapture the glory years, mainly because Baylor's glory years consisted of a single glory year.

Rather, Baylor is an accomplished hitting coach an proven leader who will undoubtedly bring a more technical approach at the plate to the Rockies hitters. And with Baylor on the bench with Hurdle, the Rockies have the two people who know the intricacies and home turf of Coors Field better than anyone in the baseball realm. Just don't ask him to manage the pitching staff. Lance Painter isn't available to pinch hit.

Best case scenario is that Baylor can keep the Rockies out of the seemingly weeks-long slumps they endured at the plate. The youngsters will be able to hone their clutch hitting, which was sorely lacking in their post-Rocktober season.

Although it's not all cold Coors and warm Tornadoughs in Rockies' Land. One has to wonder what benefit Baylor would've had on a certain MVP candidate who now plies his ware in Oakland? Could the average gone to the upper stratosphere of .360+? More RBIs and better power numbers? While we'll never know the answer, I'm growing my sweet Dante Bichette mullet now to celebrate.

RELATED: Gangstarr - "You Know My Steez" - "...when I return for my real people, words that split wigs hittin like some double Desert Eagles."


Monday, November 24, 2008

The Black Hole of Misery

I drop jewels like, paraphernalia
I'm infallible, not into failure
Like a rhinoceros, my speed is prosperous
And pure knowledge expands from my esophagus...

PROPS and DROPS from the Sunday's Bronco loss to the Raiders:

DROPS: Did Jay Cutler think he was playing Madden? One deep sideline pattern after another, with all underthrown, overthrown, and one drop by Eddie Royal (although that was slightly overthrown.) The deep pass to Royal in the Browns’ game must’ve wetted Cutler’s appetite, because the middle of the field was sorely missed. No passes to the running back over the line, none to the tight end, none to Brandon Stokley over the middle, as he was abusing DB Michael Huff.

PROPS: To Raider defensive back Nnamdi Asomugha, not only for being a pretty damn good DB, but because when Dick Enberg and Randy Cross said his name it sounded like South Park’s Awesome-O.

DROPS: Football is a game of momentum, and the beginning of the 3rd quarter illustrated that perfectly. After the horrendous first half, the Donks mount a classic six minute drive with a great run/pass mix, and score on a Peyton Hillis run. Momemtum to the Broncos, as everyone seemingly senses that one three-and-out by Oakland and the blowout is coming. However, JaMarcus Russell flings one 40 yards to Ashley Lelie, right over Dre Bly and the team scores a few plays later. Oakland re-takes the lead and in reality takes the game. Denver had their proverbial wind sucked from their sails. Worse off was Donk cast-off Lelie taunting the crowd.

PROPS: They never award the Rookie of the Year to an interior grunt, but Ryan Clady should get some serious shine. The rook OT absolutely crushed people in the game, including mauling a Raider DB on Hillis’ TD run. Cutler nary has to worry about being touched from Clady’s side and one would think that an elite back will flourish for years of running to his end.

DROPS: Jay Cutler needs to quit doing his best Tim Duncan impersonation after every incomplete pass and head back to the bench or huddle. Cutler shows flashes of brilliance and poise, then reverts to an immature player with a bad haircut.

DROPS: As horrible as the offense and defense (first Oakland TD in four games?), the special teams made it a trifecta. Thirteen point swing in the first half with the Raiders’ 89 yard punt return and two Matt Prater misses. The punt return was particulary disheartening as the returner was not only pinned deep, but was along the sideline, in effect creating an extra defender. On the kick, no more than five defenders were ever in the picture; they were taken out of their lanes by the Raiders. Prater simply over-corrected himself on the second kick. But the real question should be, what was the offense doing at the end of the half leading to the kick? They had ample time to get closer or take a shot, since they love the deep pass so much. Shanny calls a run by Cutler with 20 seconds and no timeouts?


Sunday, November 23, 2008

Aint No Future in Yo Frontin

Flint, MI rapper MC Breed passed away from kidney failure at the age of 36 yesterday. While Breed isn't in the same echelon as other MCs who have passed on, his two biggest hits will live on in Hip Hopper's lives. In 1990 his debut hit single, "Ain't No Future in Yo Frontin" came on the scene with a huge bang. It introduced people to the late 80s term 'frontin' and incorporated a west coast funk two years before The Chronic hit.

His second hit, "I Gotta Get Mine" was perhaps even more of a classic. Tupac's guest verse stole the track and coined the "mind on my money, money on my mind" phrase that is used in our lexicon to this day.


Friday, November 21, 2008

RIP Rap City

Over the past week a couple of ‘Hip is Dead’ moments have happened, that may not completely lend to that assertion, but they certainly put another nail in the ever-tightening coffin.

Lost in the merger of Sirius and XM satellite radio companies will be any Old School Rap channel. We’re not talking the cheesy “Throwback Lunch” or occasional 1992 EPMD track, but both companies featured a 24/7 channel devoted to pre-1996 rap. Rhyme XL on XM and Backspin on Sirius featured tracks that went all the way back to Grandmaster Flash, through Run-DMC, across the Wu genre, the G-Funk and gangsta realms, and all the favorites from ‘Sound of the Police’ through ‘Flavor of the Month.’ Featured were old school fixtures Dana Dane, Kurtis Blow, and the Awesome Two would tell first hand accounts from the era.

Sirius cut both channels in one swift move and offered an alternative in ‘Hip Hop Nation’. That means we’ll have to suffer through Rick Ross, Pitbull, or whatever T-Pain guest track is bleeding true Hip Hopper’s ears to hear one Gangstarr track every two hours.

More troubling is the end of BET’s ‘Rap City’ after a 19 year run on the network. They aired the last show this past weekend, it got me thinking of their run over two decades. It was the conduit for many of us true schoolers for years. Before the advent of these mean net streets, Rap City was the spot where you peeped your next fave rap joint and went and tried to cop that sh*t.

Personally, the early Rap City days with ‘The Mayor’ were pure delight. I can remember Fresh Marcus and I rocking lesser known artists like Breeze, MC Rell, Derek B, and Earle the Poet strictly from the show. K-9 Posse, Stezo, Skinny Boys, I see ya. Above the Law, damn. I saw Wu Tang for the first time and was instantly hooked from Rap City. In college, I patched into the adjoining room’s cable jack and ran that shit into my room, where I recorded every Rap City and watched it religiously.

I can remember the Rap City countdowns in the mid-90s where it seemed every video was either a Wu affiliate or a Death Row member. Big Tigger brought new life to the show and soon came the Booth, where every visiting MC hopped in and (ahem) freestyled (although I’d say 3 out of 4 rhymes in the Booth were written joints) and the host even joined in. Visiting DJs spun the latest jams and Biggie Smalls gave his last interview on the show.

The show suffered from Tigger’s departure and the shift from the mainstream Hip Hop of the 90s to the ringtone rap we have now. And in 08, Rap City seemed another extension of everyday videos on 106 and Park (much like Yo! morphed into ‘Sucker Free’) and was left to be cancelled with little fanfare.

I expected more old school clips in the final show and perhaps even the history of the final Yo! cipher, but got little more than 30 seconds of Talib Kweli, an almost defeated LL Cool J, and a strange Bow Wow booking.

But most telling, and perhaps indicative of the show and Hip Hop’s path in general, was Busta Rhymes. He who was the skinny kid in the fun loving Leaders of the New School, who then took the world by storm with the Golden Age’s near anthem “Scenario.” Now he's talking "Arab Money", dancing some cheesy dance, and twice his 1991 size. Here’s that same MC, seemingly pumped full of steroids, which can also be said of mainstream Hip Hop too: juiced up on bling, rims, champagne, bikini clad models, voice distortion, and ringtone ready beats.

Pour a little bit more of the liquor out, as our culture continues to be eroded. At the same time, we have to dig a little deeper, search a little harder, spread the word a little louder to keep this Hip Hop we all love alive.


Wednesday, November 19, 2008

I Will Use A "Laser"

Hard times and killer tactics, spittin words plus semi-automatic slurs, peep the graphic...

Buff Nation is getting a little grumpy these days, and it is pretty understandable. Dan Hawkins has the team standing at 5-6 heading into Stinkoln looking for any sort of complete game and bowl eligibility, the offense is struggling, injuries are huge, and Hawk's Phil Jackson Zen-ness is wearing on supporters. Compound all that with the mega-dose of bad news that came across since the weekend and Hawk and the AD will need to be reminded that it is, well, Division 1 Football!

--The #1 blue chip in Colorado, Legacy High's Nick Kasa gave his verbal committment to Florida. La Casa de Kasa es no Casa de Colorado, ay dios mio!

--The blogosphere is all amped on the green laser light that was pointed right in OSU QB Zac Robinson's eyes during Saturday's game. Hey, it's Boulder, there's green stuff all over.

--LB Nate Vaiomounga was booted of the team for undisclosed reasons. That's just too many vowels for any Hawk Love.

--Five CU players had items (cell phones, MP3 players, cash) stolen from their lockers during Saturday's game. The thiefs were unable to find anything resembling a solid offensive game plan.

--The Hoops' team picked up where the football team left off and lost to Montana State. The two headed Hydra that is Bobcat athletics has cast a pox on our Buffs, please remove them from all schedules through 2099.
RELATED: Brand Nubian - "Allah U Akbar" - "And my scope with the laser beam steady..."


Monday, November 17, 2008

Watcha Donks Know About the Dirty South?

Overall country, overall jeans
Overall Georgia, we overall clean
Southern Hospitality or overall mean
Overall triple, overall beams...

PROPS from the Broncos' victory over the Falcons and DROPS from CU's home finale loss to the Oklahoma State Cowboys:

DROPS: Okie State QB Zac Robinson, a Littleton native, sure would look good in Black and Gold. Height, speed, a decent arm, and football smarts. Former coach Gary Barnett wouldn't guarantee Robinson a chance to come in and compete at QB, so Robinson and his lack of a 'k' took his act to Stillwater. In 05 Barnett had the stellar QB ensemble of Brian White, Bernard Jackson, and James Cox clogging up Robinson's chances at the position. Good call there, Gary, because when you think great college QBs, all of those guys are on the list.

PROPS: Go ahead and book it that the Denver media darling this week will be FB/LB Spencer Larsen. Of course, when you're the first player in five years to start on offense and defense, they'll tend to do that. Did Larsen think he was playing in Arena Football game? Besides being a trivia answer, Larsen had a great game (along with the Celebration Twins- Jamie Winborn and Leslie Woodyard- the LBs were outstanding) collecting six tackles and leading on some tough yards at fullback.

DROPS: Darrell Scott's freshman year in Boulder has been a complete bust. He again sat out Saturday's game, leaving the Buffs with just Demetrius Sumler at the position all night. Scott again was hampered by a nagging ankle injury. One has to wonder if when Scott showed up to camp overweight, they should've made the decision to redshirt him right there. His explosivness outside of a couple plays has been sorely lacked this year, especially when there isn't much happenning at the WR position.

PROPS: Unlike the Buffs, Shanny has plugged in players into his system and coached them up to play admirably. Josh Bell, out of football a few weeks ago, had a decent game at CB. So much so that they were actually throwing at Dre Bly's man Roddy White. Enter Tatum Bell, selling cell phones last week, who salted away the game with some key runs. Someone known as Josh Shaw was ever present at defense tackle, helping clog the lanes and forcing Falcon RB Michael Turner into tough outside yards. Shaw has been inactive most of the year. That is what Shanny and good coaches do: rely on backups who can adhere to the system adn assignments when the starters go down.

PROPS: Kudos to the Steelers for opening a two game lead for the Donks by winning one of the ugliest games in recent NFL history. The 4-6 record the Chargers face may have them is disarray and the Donks looking for the kill shot with the Raiders at Invesco next week and the Colts travelling to SD.

PROPS: The winning TD from Jay Cutler to Daniel Graham was nothing short of beautiful. A complete laser that no one other than Graham could've caught. Dare we say it was - gasp - Elwayesque?

DROPS: The tight end seems to have completely erased from the CU offense. CU has playmakers at tight end- Riar Geer, Patrick Devenny, and Patrick Deehan are all high caliber players. Especially Deehan: think Tony Scheffler as a freshman. Part of the problem could be the injuries along the OL, which is keeping the TEs in to block on passing downs. However, quick TE dumps and passes across the middle are key, especially for a team that struggled on 3rd downs (3 for 14). Another possibility is that Cody Hawkins is just not tall enough to see the TEs across the middle.

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Thursday, November 13, 2008

Mummy Points

-This Saturday brings the Buffs hosting the Okie State Cowboys up in the Republic; a 6pm national ABC telecast, which always lends to the alcohol level needle being revved up to 'full' (present company included.)

More importantly, it is The Mummy Game. For those thousands hundreds tens couple of SG readers, you know that former two time Slushy Gutter Winner TDub lost a bet to The Commish during March Madness and as the loser, he has to dress as a Mummy at a home CU game this year. How did he pick this week? As his he thrust his staff into the map of the city, complete with a Coors can on the staff of Ra, the sun shined through onto the calender and rested upon this Saturday's game. That was symbol that it this Saturday is Mummy Game. Yeah, I know, "thrust his staff."

Mummy will be introduced with the other Seniors in pregame introductions, offered a hearty handshake by Dan Hawkins, and get his first start of the year at QB. OSU coach Mike Gundy will question the Big 12 officials if playing a Mummy is legal and then remind them that, indeed, he's a man, and he's 40. I made that up, but Mummy (aka BUFFjunkie on CU fan sites) will be spending the game in section 120. Stop by and use some played-out Mummy cliche, like, "who's your Mummy?" or "do you want your Mummy?" or the always witty "Mummy dearest!"

--Wu Tang- “Heaterz” - "Mountain men that be rich, you get buckshot, dumb be clapped, mummy wrapped and stitched."
--Def Squad - “Full Cooperation” - "You must be crazy tryin to play me, I been dedicated since King Tut the third baby." VIDEO
--Mellow Man Ace - “Hip Hop Creature” - "I rap so close around em and they end up like a mummy."
--Egyptian Lover
- "Egypt, Egypt" VIDEO
--Boogie Down Productions - “You Must Learn (Remix)” - "It's good to note, that in ancient times Egyptians developed all sciences of the mind."
--Special Ed - “Here I Go Again” - "But they got cut like King Tut, then wrapped, from a dummy to a mummy, let's see how you adapt."
--Slick Rick - “Hey Young World” - "Don't be a dumb dummy and disrespect your mummy." VIDEO
--Tha Alkaholiks f/ Xzibit - “Killin it” - "It's hard to find like the grade A shit, with no cuts,
tryin to stack like King Tut, and still bang the microphone up."
--Dr Dre - “Still DRE” - "Got it wrapped like a mummy, still ain't tripping, love to see young blacks get money." VIDEO
--Cocoa Brovaz - “Won on Won” - "Try to challenge get damaged, plain and simple, with bandages around your temple." VIDEO
--Aesop Rock - “Big Bang” - "Road side prophetic, ascend well, enveloped in a mummy ribbon system, blistering in a wishing well."
--Redman and Method Man - “How High” - "The Egyptian Musk use to have me pull mad sluts." VIDEO
--3rd Bass - “Pop Goes the Weasel” - "Why score all my points in one period, appearin in complex structure like a pyramid." VIDEO

-According to snooty professors and dorks who watch too much History channel, the ancient Egyptians were crazy drunks. Or more aptly put, beer was a staple of their diet. They jacked the brewing process from the Asyrians and there are Hieroglyphics of Egyptians doing keg stands, playing beer pong, and siphoning beer bongs. In fact, it was the the original B.C. SG Crew that knocked the Sphinx's nose off when on a drunken excursion. Slushy Gutter, indeed.

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Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Pass the Buff Buck

Lookin' like straight bozos.
I saw it comin', that's why I went solo...

These days it is imperative to look for the best deals, and your sports dollar is no different. The good people at The University of Colorado have extended an offer to see Your Team, the Buffs' Men's hoops team for half their season for a single buck. The solitary sawbuck will get you into Friday's game versus Arkansas-Pine Bluff which in turn will get you a t-shirt that garner you free admission for the remaining non-conference schedule. That's about 11 cents per game. 11 cents will get you into the cavernous Coors Event Center, the arena the 1970's forgot, where beer isn't served despite the namesake, to watch a team that lost its top three scorers, finished last in the Big 12, made the NCAAs twice in 30 years, for games against Arkansas-Pine Bluff, Montana State, Harvard, Lafayette, TCU, Colorado State, Prairie View A&M, Louisiana-Monroe, and Western State.

Yeah, that's a rip off. Like we said, look for the best deals these the 11 cents, that's a swift turn of the toy machines in the supermarket lobby.


Tuesday, November 11, 2008


When I approach rappers be taking notes
I drop like I shoulda invented the raincoat…

When you throw one budding MLB superstar, a pair of boob owners, super agent Scott Boras, uber-stat geek Billy Beane, a puppeted Rockies’ GM, and boatloads of moola into the hot stove league, you get what came through today: The Colorado Rockies completely crapping their pants.

In the realm of Denver sports’ trades, yesterday’s dealing of Matt Holliday is undoubtedly number one on the Casey Kasem countdown. It was just wrong on so many levels. The lowballing of a player of Holliday’s ilk; the trade to another mid-market team, the A’s, whose GM is known for flipping and treating his trading partners like a leather-clad dominatrix; the players received in return: a closer who lost that job halfway through the season, a 17 game loser who all scouts agree is a #4 or #5 starter, and a .241 hitter; the Rox insistence that Seth Smith is a comparable replacement; the team tring to sneak it through in football season and days after the Billups trade; their neglecting to wait out the other MLB free agents to see where they end up.

Everyway it is sliced, it is just a piss poor deal reflecting on the utter incompetence (or unwillingness to win) of the front office. The Rox had their moment in the sun, and in 13 months have followed up the near-hysteria with ticket increases, a losing record, an imbalanced trade of the franchise’s best player, and there will be more jettisoned players to follow. As always, good seats available all year.

RELATED: Junior Mafia f/ Notorious BIG – “Player’s Anthem” – “…What are you a idiot?”


Sunday, November 09, 2008

Flushing the Browns

and DROPS from the Bronco come from behind win versus the Browns and the Buffs' last second win over Iowa State.

PROPS: The Donk tight ends was the standouts of the game. Daniel Graham's bruising TD ctach and run was a huge demoralizer for the Browns. Tony Sheffler gutted it out with a tender hammy and routinely romaed the center of the field and made some tough catches. Nate Jackson and his speed also presented matchup problems for the Browns. The softening of the middle of the Browns' defense and their concern over the tight ends lended to the WRs getting more man and man and open (see: Royal- 93 pass from Cutler.)

DROPS: The Buff kicking game continues to be stuck on stupid. At this rate they'll have to go Dallas Carter 1988 and just go for 2 pointers after each TD. Time for Coach Hawk to start scanning the Rivals site a bit more closely for four star kicking prospect. The Buffs' soccer team is nationally ranked, maybe one of those girls can split the uprights. Besides the field goal side, the return and coverage teams aren't reminding anyone of Devin Hester either. A long return set up Iowa State's last TD push and two roughing the kicker penalites were avoidable.

PROPS: With the entire starting LB unit on the shelf, Bronco subs Jamie Winborn and Wesley Woodyard were all over the field. The duo lead the team in tackles including a handful for a loss. More importantly, the two were the emotional leaders of the night. Yes, celebrating after Jamal Lewis makes a four yard gain might seem over-the-top, but it seems they were the only two players on a comatose defense who showed some energy. Woodyard especially made an impression, sprinting through any opening to corrall ball-carriers. His speed (4.5 forty) presents matchup problems and helps lessen the blow of losing DJ Williams.

PROPS: Cody Hawkins had his finest day this season, playing only in the 2nd half, but twice rallying the Buffs' to go-ahead scores. Hawkins was also deftly nimble, evading tacklers (the Buff o-line is still struggling mightily with injuries) and finding WRs. Witness the final TD, when Hawkins stood in the pocket, watched it break down and step forward, roll to his right and throw across the field to Cody Crawford. Granted, Hawkins wasn't doing this versus the Giants' pass rush, but it nonetheless kept CU in the game.

DROPS: The Bronco running back situation is ugly and there might nont be any relief in sight. Ryan Torian enjoyed a fine night until he was knocked out (season ending) which forced FB Peyton Hillis in the tailback role. That's three RBs on injured reserve in the last week. Hillis will get the tough yards, but he cannot be expected to tote a 25 carry game. Shanny, did you keep Mike Bell on speed dial? Defenses will likely drop eight into coverage the remainder of the season if there is no real ground threat.

PROPS: Defensive back Jimmy Smith started his first game for the Buffs and he played well. His biggest moment was the dropping the ISU running back on the games final play, preventing the winning touchdown. Smith has the look of a future NFL corner: speed, height, great tackling ability. He was in the top players with tackles for the game, and why that necessarily isn't a great thing (see: Paymah, Karl) he's not afraid to get physical with the massive Big 12 receivers he'll be matched up against.

PROPS: Next week at Folsom Field: The Mummy Game. If ya got a crew, ya better tell em.

RELATED: GZA/Genius - "Liquid Swords" - "The micphones like cyclones or typhoon,I represent from midnight to high noon..."

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Thursday, November 06, 2008

Peezy Gets Jiggy

Take these words home and think it through
or the next rhyme I write might be about you...

The trash talk between Brandon Marshall and ex-goat Joey Porter has been, frankly, awesome. Not since LL Cool J went at MC Shan have I been so intrigued by two grown men beefing over a kid’s game. I really don’t care that Marshall loss the game because his quote is the coolest crack I’ve heard in years:

“You know, we hear stories floating around the league all the time about him as far (as being) in nightclubs dancing with his shirt off like a girl or in the playground getting beat up back in California. He’s one of those guys that no matter how big he is, he can still get knocked on his butt and he’s soft. He’s soft at heart and you can tell by the way he talks.

“And his nickname is ‘Peezy.’ I don’t know what ‘Peezy’ is… Joey?”

My questions are many. Is Joey really shirtless in the club? Or is he wearing one of those fishnet tank tops? Is he hanging with other shirtless dudes, like in the DMX video? Is he hanging with Vince Young? Is he getting funky with it to “It’s Raining Men” or is he working it to some techno song and a couple glow sticks?

Getting beat up in a park. Interesting. Is he trying to battle Kimbo Slice? Did he lose a touch football game and try to run someone over ala Lawrence Phillips? Was he playing Frisbee golf? Was he shirtless in the park too? Was it a regular park in California, or did he get his ass beat at Magic Mountain because he cut in line?


Tuesday, November 04, 2008

You Can Go Home Again

Dear Chauncey:

Welcome back to Denver, a few things I wanted to let you know:

-Those calls you'll be getting from Steve from 9th grade Algebra class, or Janet, the chick who you pushed out of the snow bank outside of Taco John's in 93, or Delroy, the guy who fixed your 1985 Lumina, just ignore them all.
-Remember the efficient, almost regimented, professional team approach that was employed in Detroit? Just go ahead and forget about that.
-That group of drunk aholes in section 121 at Folsom Field, who were screaming and hollering "M-V-P" towards you at the 2004 football opener? They're still there, and still drunk.
-Speaking of football, you're 6-1, fast, great hands, can find the open spaces, and have two years of college eligibility left, right? Ever play wide receiver? Call Dan Hawkins at 303-49-BUFFS.
-Hold up, you're 6-1, fast, great hands, can find the open spaces? Ever play running back? Call Mike Shannahan at 303-649-9000.
-Dude, there's a guy on your team now named Cheikh Samb. I can't make this shit up.
-Plenty of good seats available up at the Coors Event Center, and by plenty I mean you can walk up to the box office on any game day when the opponent isn't named Kansas and buy, say 9,000 tickets.
-Melo cut his braids, so you should respond by rocking that sweet high top fade from the George Washington High days.
-If the other nine Denver players suddenly stop during your first practice, don't worry, they're just confounded by what you call "defense."

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Monday, November 03, 2008

Miami Not So Nice

Say peace to cats who rock mack knowledge
Knowledgists, street astrologists
Light up the mic God, knowledge this...

PROPS and DROPS from the pair of offensive losses by the Buffs to Texas A&M and the Broncos to the Dolphins:

DROPS: The Colorado defensive backfield had their moments on Saturday, knocking away a few passes and covering well in the first half. However, on all threre TD passes, the DBs were completely outplayed. The A&M QB hung the ball up on the first touchdown, literally floating the ball to his receiver, while CU safety Rtyan Walter watched it come in like Ken Griffey playing a fly ball. However, he didn’t adjust his body and completely mistimed his jump. Similar bad techniques were employed on the other two 3rd quarter TD passes. This isn’t a case of the A&M offense scorching the Buffs, it was bad technique in coverage. A tweak here and there and two of those passes are interceptions, and that comes back to coaching.

DROPS: The Donk’s inability to run the ball lended itself to every offensive downfall in the game. A paltry 14 yards was all the team was able to put up, a number even the early-90s Houston Cougars scoff at. That forced to Jay Cutler to passing situations and a svelte 3 INTs. That also lead to the Dolphins manhandling Brandon Marshall, who took his role as mini-T.O. a step further by complaining after the game he wasn’t getting the ball. There seems to be no quick fix to the running woes, as the messiah Ryan Torian didn’t produce and Shanny seemed to forget Michael Pittman was running smooth before the bye week.

DROPS: The Buffs played with zero emotion on Saturday. They ran out of the tunnel and onto the field as if they were running in a Halloween 5k, not a Big 12 football game. The defense didn’t seem too excited, even when they came away with sacks or key stops there was little celebrating with eachother. The coaching staff too roamed the sideline without much energy. Texas papers reported that A&M coach Mike Sherman gave an impassioned halftime speech, and it appears Dan Hawkins took a nap at halftime. How this happened with a team that needed this win to get closer to a bowl bid is strange; is it indicative that the staff is losing the team’s ear?

DROPS: The NFL doesn’t do any favors to the Broncos, as they ship them out to play a Thursday game in Cleveland following a 2pm Sunday tilt. Why not just let them play today on Monday Night Football? However, given what we saw with the two week break, perhaps a three day layoff will be what the Donks need to get this putrid taste (and offense) out of their mouths.

DROPS: Top running back Rodney Stewart breaking his leg is definitely a hit for the Buffs ground game. He definitely had a scat back ability to run through smaller holes behind the patchwork o-line. And with this line, that is a big deal, as the holes sometimes aren’t there. However, this opens the door for Mr. Five Star, Darrel Scott to simply create his own holes. Scott had some fierce runs on Saturday and the extra carries will allow him to get more into the game’s rhythm.

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