Thursday, May 30, 2013

Bohn Dry

More fun going on in Boulder, and we aren't talking about the dude who dressed as a giant dragon for the Bolder Bolder.  Mike Bohn, AD at CU, is out.  Chaos and seeminginly endless blunders, are back in.

The SG has uncovered some little known facts about the Mike Bohn firing  resignation:

-Chancellor Phil DiStephano had a $1 bet with Mortimer and Randolph on whether he could use the term "fund raising" more than 20 times at the press conference.
-CU higher ups never really jived with Bohn's constant long sleeve golf pullover/khakis/CU lanyard look.
-Word got back to President Bruce Benson that whenever Bohn passed a gargoyle statue on campus he'd say "Good monring Mr Benson."
-Bohn liked to use the term "trajectory" a lot, which always stumped DiStephano when he was doing crosswords.
-Bohn overheard Benson complaing about "this damn fax machine" and mistakenly thought he said "start a damn lax team,"  hence CU will have women's lacrosse next year.
-CU higher ups realized just how far fund raising lagged when the only thing the received in April was a box of rusty door knobs from a home remodel in Lafayette.
-Mike Bohn was planning on further capitalizing on the C-Unit success by signing 50 Cent to the group.
-Dan Hawkins' instagram photos of him bathing in tubs of CU's money was finally starting to wear on Benson.
-While Jon Embree complained of a lack of bottled water, Bohn was constantly harping on the lack of potatoes and gravy stations throughout Dal Ward.
-With Bohn receiving eight season tickets to CU football for life as aprt of the settlement, next year's attendance will improve 25%

RELATED: Wu Tang Clan - "Triumph" - ("...the swift chancellor")


Wednesday, May 22, 2013

Action Bronson - "Strictly 4 My Jeeps"

Think back to your summer golden days, whether that be 1988, 1993, 1998, or 2005. There was always that summer banger that even when you hear nowadays, it gets the reminisce machine flowing. Here's Action Bronson with his own summer anthem for the 1-3. Cartwheels, big chicks in bikinis, eating a cake of your own face, the same Lowell Fulsom "Tramp" sample employed by EPMD and LL in "Rampage" and Cypress Hill's "How I Could Just Kill A Man"(and countless others.) Enough fun to dub it onto a Memorex cassette, sport a Stussy cap and get it poppin in your 93 Jeep.


Friday, May 03, 2013

Kool AD & Kass - "Fresh Prince"

You really want a breakdown of what went wrong in yet another Nuggets first round playoff loss?  Nope, nope, and nope.  You want that new sh*t from Kool AD and Kass, channeling their inner Will Smith and giving us a hilarious new video and bangin track "Fresh Prince," from that Peaceful Solutions mixtape?  It's better than Steph Curry and Andrew Bogut, trust me.