You gotta wait it takes timeI don't write I build a rhymeI draw plans draft the diagrams...
What "guy" do you hate? You know, like "softball guy", the infamous douchebag that everyone hates. There's "text guy", the dude who spends a conversation with you more transfixed by his Blackberry. This time of year there's "fantasy football guy" who annoys your entire league. A lot of you probably hate "blog guy" and I don't blame you one bit. There's a million "guys" that push people's buttons.
There's "morning DJ guy", the loud mouth jock who is all kitsch and fart jokes when your brain and body might prefer some somber organ music. And related to "morning DJ guy" is "overnight DJ guy" who also employs an over the top attitude from midnight to 5am in hopes it might get him noticed.
"Overnight guy" greets me on the majority of mornings when my alarm goes off in the pre-rooster hours. I'm not a buzzer or ringer guy on the alarm. I figured long ago that the best way to get your punk ass outta bed is to get some wack station with wack music to say "good morning, asshole."
This am "overnight guy" came on for a brief few seconds and I heard "maaaaaan, I thought they had it in the bottom of the 12th! Ha! Then the Giants came up in the 14th and oh no!" That's when I slammed snooze and stared at the ceiling. I had bailed on the Rockies game in the 13th and no clue about the outcome. However, now "overnight guy", right before playing Counting Crows, had informed me in my doldrums of sleep that the Purp had suffered a bad L.
"Shit" I actually blurted out. The dog stirred, the wife rolled over. I hoped the peacefully sleeping baby down the hall hadn't heard. (Don't know if daycare would be too keen on her first word being "shit".)
"Overnight guy" had ruined my day and it had barely started. Fucking guy. Not only a loss, but a taxed bullpen, a reenergized Giants team, and a long night as the Dodgers were already in our fair town. I hate "overnight guy."
A funny thing happenned as I stepped onto to the driveway to grab the morning paper (yes, I'm old school, I still get a paper each day.) A double take. A triple take. 6-4 final: the good guys won
. Huh? I scan the sports section and FSN's Double Play for the quick rundown. Walks, guys whith steak-knife-slashed hands trying to bat, little used utility men batting, pitchers getting walked, pitchers I didn't even know were on the team, Spillbouroughs running around the diamond like a maniac, Drew Goodman pratically creaming his shorts.
My morning from sorrow to a smile on my face in a matter of minutes. So, "overnight guy"... you can suck it.RELATED: Black Moon - "Who Got the Props" - ("When I break on fools, wake up, you don't snooze")