Thursday, August 23, 2012

SG NFL Pick Em 2012

Daaayum, it seems like we've been doing this for years. Well, the answer you drunken chucklehead, is we have been doing it for years. It's time to test your NFL knowledge beyond which cheerleading squad has the tightest rears and bustiest uniforms.

Remember the winner of this esteemed contest wins a huge pile of nothing. This year we will add in a year's subscription of nada, and a case of zilch (actual case not included.) If you got a crew ya better tell em, because the more the merrier. Dastardly nicknames and crap talking encouraged...Good luck.

Group ID # = 29442

password = beer


(be sure to check the "terms" box or you get the wack ERROR message)

RELATED: Dilated Peoples - "The Platform"

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Thursday, August 16, 2012

Webb Slinger

Call it a hunch but when the CU staff pursued former Kansas QB Jordan Webb earlier this summer, this corner of Buff Nation knew he would be the starter. Connor Wood, the former four star Mr Man from Mack Brown's stable, didn't light it up in the spring. Nick Hirschman may have been in the program for a bit, but throw on the ASU game last year.

Enter Webb; after just a little more than a month in the program and he's the man.

The optimists will point to his 19 college starts, while the skeptics will point to the four wins among those starts. The optimists will point out that former KU coach Tuner Gill was over his head, while the skeptics will new KU coach Charlie Weis wanted to eat Webb.

Whatever is going on in Boulder, it is still too early in the Embree Era to over analyze this decision. Webb could simply be a caretaker until some recruited QBs are ready to take the spot. Or Webb could be the next dude in the trend of "rent-a-former player" (ala Russell Wilson) that seems to be the way for some teams. With a schedule a step down from last year's, this move might prove to make the most sense, regardless of Weis' appetite.

(After all, the Buffs haven't had a recruited high school QB be an effective starter since Koy Detmer. Think about that, no big time QB in Boulder since 1995? Ouch.)

RELATED: RZA - "La Rhumba" - ("...lured me in like a fly into the spider's web")


Wednesday, August 08, 2012

Saying To Yourself That's a BB Gun

BB guns. They're a funny bunch. It looks like a gun, but it only emits a small blob of metal. They really don't make a whole lot of sense. Unless you are needing one to eradicate squirrels/varmits from your property (like my 90 year old Grandfather, who weilds his BB guns taking down squirrels that even dare to enter his bird feeders like he's Wyatt Earp.) Or maybe you are attempting to take your family on the rides at Wally World and need one to scare the security guard. Or perhaps you just like shooting beer cans in a wayward, off the road location. Other than that BB guns don't have much room in our society.

Guns in cars are another thing in that doesn't make a lot of sense in 2012, just ask one certain Broncos' defensive player. Unless you are a law enforcement officer, best to leave the gun at home and not go mobile with it.

Couple the BB gun with the gun in car and you're asking for trouble. That's why the eight CU players who did both have probably got Jon Embree pulling his hair out, or maybe even pulling Ralphie's hair out.

You see, cops, they're a funny bunch. They really don't like to hear that someone in a car is pointing a gun at someone else. (Remember pull out radios? Then they had their bastard cousin, the removable face plate radio? A friend of mine pointed the container for said face plate at another car in the 90s and half the cops in Arvada were looking for my rig.) Couple that with Boulder cops, who at times aren't the most tolerant bunch (again, I've experienced this, again in the 90s. Spend more than a year in Boulder and it becomes clear that the BPD is not one crew to be fucked with) and you have a situation on your hands. It's not time to pull your best Huey P Newton act with these guys.

Welcome to fall camp fellas, leave your BB guns and mouthy attitude at the gates. Oh, and let's try to win some games too.

RELATED: MC Ren - "Mad Scientist" - ("...never shot a B.B. gun")


Thursday, August 02, 2012

Your Volley, Melo

-Standing too close to Melo and...

...Kerry Walsh's defensive presence goes down 50 percent.
...Misty May's husband (Dodgers' catcher) b*tch slaps Miguel Montero and dead sprints to the dugout.
...Suddenly USA Volleyball is pressured into adding JR Smith to the team.
...Misty May, fed up with not being popular enough in smaller Huntington Beach, requests to be traded to the Dallas Cowboys.
...good thing Kevin Durant is in between, at least he's tasted what the Finals are like.
...Kerry Walsh's case of pink eye clears up from the contact.
...more questions on what the difference between Austria and Australia.
...VH1 calls to see if they'd be interested in sitting courtside on LaLa's reality show.
...Jeremy Lin is left to leave without a counteroffer... to Brazil.

RELATED: Ice-T - "Ricochet" - ("...bounce like volleyball")