Wednesday, June 27, 2012

Hall of Joe

Joe Sakic into the Hall of Fame. That's a no-brainer. Great player, great leader, even better guy. Will the old school Avs be in effect for the ceremony? Bob Hartley and his stories of being a glass plant worker? Patrick Bitter Roy will probably be there pissed off about something. Maybe Doug Gilour will show up to take another ass whuppin. Peter Forsberg will be there only if there is an abundance of model looking chicks in short skirts. Maybe Mike Ricci will be there just because everyone like him when he was the "goofy" one. Who won't be there? Joe's snowblower. Could've got a few more goals from old Super Joe if not for that fucker.

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Thursday, June 21, 2012

Four Man Weave

Four man rotation. 75 pitch counts. Losses. Seems like another Summer in Rox Land.

The Rox are trying to reinvent the wheel on a grand game that has only been going on for 150 plus years. This wheel needs to be ripped off and tossed in the junk yard.

Yes Jeremy Guthrie is a dud (if they trade him to Toronto does his ERA face the exchange rate and get even bigger?) and needs to go to the pen, but replace him in the rotation. You see, baseball is a funny game, and for the last generation every successful team has used five dudes as their starters. Get any average Joe from the minors, from an independent team, from some other team's scrap heap. Hell, call Tatum Bell at the cell phone kisosk and get him.

Yet the brass (a loose term when describing the Rox front office, a more apt term would be a few rungs down on the precious metals table. 'Dull aluminum'?) at 20th and Blake thinks four guys on a 75 pitch limit is the answer? 75 pitches will do wonders for the development of young pitchers who are trying to get into the flow of a MLB season.

The Purp will claim the new four man rotation is out of necessity. They have the wrong "ity" as it is obviously out of stupidity.

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Thursday, June 14, 2012

Hella Bad

I'm livin' large as possible, posse unstoppable
Style topical, vividly optical...

Things just keep getting worse in Purp Land, as the Rockies have dropped six in a row and now stand a season "high" 13 games under 500 after finding another way to lose the A's last night. It seems everyday there's some number or stat demonstrating how bad this team really is. Let's look at a few:

--The starting staff ERA is the worse in baseball since 1930. That's 80 plus years filled with bad teams, expansion teams, steriod freaks, 1940 and 50s teams that served as trade partners to the Yankees, etc. The worse since 1930? We're talking the 30s through 70s when TV and scouting was nearly primitive compared to today and the Rockies are worse than every staff ever assmebled in eight decades.

--Troy Tulowitzki wasn't at the team phot a couple days back because he was rehabbing. A team official said he will be phot shopped in the pic. Can they phot shop in Matt Cain, Stephen Strasburg, and Cliff Lee too?

--The batters keep saying there's no division on the team between them and the pitchers. In my best Seth Meyers voice: "really?" You dudes go out and mash the f*ck out the ball like the humidor is unplugged and being used to grow medical marijuana and they crap their pants every night? No division? I'm not sure if the pitchers "area" at Coors clubhouse is away from the position players but if it is those dudes are like the jean jacket smoking stoner outcasts in high school.

--Rockies are 0-8 in interleague at home. Haven't won a game versus the way below average AL West, who have to bat their pitchers, in a NL park? 0-8 in interleague? Can the Yokomori Giants, Toledo Mud Hens, and the Stan's Bail Bonds Softball Goons get on that schedule?

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Friday, June 08, 2012

Bathroom Bar Art #9

FOUND BY: Commish CH
WHERE: Arvada, CO convenience store

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Monday, June 04, 2012

Buffs Get It On The Floor

Want to get that special Dad something uniques this Father's Day? Your recent grad need a gift to send him off into the world? Your old moms retiring and looking for a great gift for her to spend her golden years?

The folks at the CU Athletic department have your answer. The very court your Pac 12Hoops champions called home. That's right the floor of the old Foam Dome can be yours for just five large.

Feel the throngs of students who stormed the court. Smell Chauncey Billups sweat. Bits of David Harrison's unkempt hair. The echos of Michel Morandis cursing in French. Spinning tuba players and frisbee catching dogs. Countless names of volleyball players and women's hoops players that I can't really name. All can join your house for just 5k. Either that or just use it to refloor the dining room.

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