Tuesday, July 31, 2012

Bathroom Bar Art #10

FOUND BY: Commish CH
WHERE: Edgewater CO, at GB's Fish & Chips

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Wednesday, July 25, 2012

Peyton Says Your Done

It's pretty cliche to say with the opening of Broncos' camp tomorrow, the Rockies season is effectively over to most people. But, with the opening of Broncos' camp tomorrow, the Rockies season is effectively over.

Some guy named Peyton Manning, the legal troubles on defense, the stocked WR corps, the Hall Of Famer at corner, even the tattoo'ed kicker, will trump anything the Purp do over these next two plus months.

There's dudes on the Rockies right now that aren't recognizable to the casual fan (save me the "they tore it up in Tulsa" argument. Exactly, Tulsa. Look outside, this ain't Tulsa.) And meanwhile the Rox we've gotten to know are somewhere on the DL abyss. The pitching? It cringes just to write that word.

While the Rox hang their hat on the stellar attendance at Coors Field despite the losing, keep an eye on that. You thin they're will be 30k on a Tuesday in September? Friday night games with real high school football and the kids back in school?

So to the Rockies, basically thanks for a completely lost 2012. One where even near 500 ball would keep in the mind of Colorado sports fans. See you in Spring Training. There's a pennant behind every palm tree.

RELATED: Souls of Mischief - "That's When You Lost"

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Tuesday, July 17, 2012

Elvis...Was A Hero To Most

Elvis Dumervil? Not a good weekend. The SG weighs in:

-Maybe Elvis should have a new sack dance, everytime he lays a QB down he lifts his shirt and goes all Doughboy, screaming "Yo, we got a problem here?!"

-Miami. South Beach. Guns. Fancy cars. Lingerie employees. Someone call Crockett and Tubbs, I think we have a mystery that can be solved in 42 minutes of prime time TV!

-Did felllow defensive "leader" DJ Williams tweet a picture of the incident?

-Further playing on the Boyz N The Hood montage from above, wouldn't it be funny to see Tim Tebow in Cuba Godding's roll punching the air in the wack crying scene? Yeah, he won an Oscar later in his career.

-Hey Peyton, welcome to Denver. One of the best defensive players is looking a suspension, the defensive captain is already out six games, and your best WR is facing a huge sexual assualt civil suit.

-Elvis and his mans were rolling South Beach listening to: a) Fresh Prince- "Welcome to Miami"; b) 2 Live Crew- "Pop That Coochie"; or c) any Miami Sound Machine jam. Because remember, the rhythm is going to get you.

RELATED: Ice Cube - "Steady Mobbin"


Tuesday, July 10, 2012

Scoot On By

Eazy E once said "fuck the car, I do a mother fucking walk-by." For two Boulder drunks, the next step up was a scooter-by. And, further expanding on Eazy's violence, they decided to use bear repellent.

Only in Boulder.

It seems the two assailants had been drinking all day for the holiday when their vitriol over a perceived theft lead them to another block on The Hill. Not knowing which specific house on the block was the culprit, they decided to spray up the whole block. Down for ya neighborhood.

I never been sprayed with bear repellent but if I'm chilling with some July 4th corn on the cob it's probably not something that adds flavor.

The two sprayers hit up a house and a frat house yard before the spray reversed course in the wind (damn pesky physics) and doused themselves. Somewhere a bear is laughing in irony.

RELATED: Cypress Hill - "Throw Ya Hands In The Air"


Friday, July 06, 2012

Meyhem Lauren f/ Heems & Action Bronson - "Special Effects"

Meyhem Lauren teams with Heems and Action Bronson to put out the straight ill joint "Special Effects." The quickie video was supposedly shot at the director's apartment in BK with movie clips from Deep Cover and Bad Lieutenant splashed in the background by a projector. Whatever the steez, the song and the video will get your head nodding. Easy lyric rocking from the two behemoths in Bronson and Lauren, but I'm especially impressed with Das Racist's Heems, who kills his verse. Best yet, Meyhem Lauren's mixtape Respect The Fly Shit, is FREE.


Tuesday, July 03, 2012

Prater Gets Paid

Looks like the Donks decided to spend big bucks at a position not so accustomed to seven figures: kicker. Peyton Manning will be happy to know that there won't be any "idiot kicker" here in Denver as Matt Prater inked a big time four year deal (Prater's real ink on his right arm appears to be some weird fusion of trigonometry and Hawaiian culture, which makes sense since he's from Florida.)

While it may seem counter productive to spend serious cream on a guy who plays about 10% of the team's total plays, this move is a smart one. Prater can boom the long FGs (dudes in those wack Fantasy Leagues that award more points for longer FGs stroke themselves over him) and almost as important is his touchback percentage. Remember that Tebow guy? Yep, he was pretty dramatic, but without Prater he'd been some losing starting QB.

RELATED: Lords Of The Underground - "Funky Child" - ("Now I kick the ill styles...")