Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Coach Mac Losing It

Other things that Coach Mac had in his letter/rant about the entire CU situation:

-Judge Joe Brown should be on at 3:00pm, and not any later to interfere with dinner!

-My Lawn: stay off it.

-King Soopers offers a way better grapefruit selection than Safeway. But make sure you wait for a sale.

-That damn rappy music. What ever happened to Pat Boone and Sinatra?

-I refuse to have an battery powered pencil sharpener. What happens if I'm halfway through the crossword and the batteries run out?

-You can't get a good pair of house slippers in Boulder.

-I used to be able to get a cup of coffee at McDonalds. Now there's whipped cream, mocha, sprinkles, and chocolate swirls!

-There's way too many 6pm games. I'm well into bedtime by then.

-I can't believe CU doesn't have recliners in the team room.

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Wednesday, November 21, 2012

Bathroom Bar Art #12

FOUND BY: Commish CH
WHERE: Downtown Portland OR

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Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Hitting You From Every Angle

So, SG favorite Dante Bichette is the new Rockies' hitting coach.  "Hey guys, the Broncos hired someone with ties to the team and look at them!  We should do that too!"

While the SG has no problem with Dante as hitting coach, he was a steady hitter in his day here, there are some confounding reasons as to his hiring.

One, he understands the difference between Coors and the road.  Of course, anyone who reads a stat sheet can see those numbers are as far apart as Ms America and Ms Methhead.  But didn't Dante essentially lose the 1995 MVP because his numbers were that different?

Two, he knows the "approach" to the game.  Meh.  Look at Dante in his days.  Not the slimmest dude, didn't always hustle, he seemed to be disinterested at times.  If the apporach to the game is swilling beers and downing chicken wings, then we can pencil in that pennant.

But he hits off a tee!  Great, so do the six year olds.  Can they beat the Dodgers in late July?

Dante ultimately might be better than the last hitting coach, or the dude before that, or even his own coach while at 20th & Blake (insert there names here: )  But the hitting coach for 81 games might as well be a pitching machine and they'll need real instruction for the 81 road games.  Besides, that humidor keeps those wings fresh for a few extra days.

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Wednesday, November 07, 2012

Legalize and I Advertise

How Colorado legalizing the chronic will affect the various sports teams:

--"Coach Embree?  There's a Mr. Ricky Williams on line one asking if we are hiring?"

--The old 'D' Bronco logo?  The smoke coming out of the horse's nostrils?  Yep.

--CU Buffs award MJ leafs on the back of their helmets for touchdowns, big tackles, interceptions, and mastering a six foot bong.

--Coors Field humidor will keep your weed fresh and green for later use.

--All those charity "Bowl A Thon" events take on new meaning.

--Training tables consisting of chili cheese nachos and cold pizza will force Frito Lay to hire dozens of new sales reps and drivers.

--Denver Nuggets?  Nuggets?  Nuggets (followed by 20 minutes of laughter)

--It just isn't the same coming out on the field to Cypress Hill as it was to AC/DC.

--NBA Players Association asks for expansion teams in every Colorado city over 50,000 people.

--His name is Rashaan Salaam, and today he is vindicated.

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