Thursday, February 24, 2011

Garden Party

I don't talk ish
Expand your conciousness and dismiss foolishness...

One game in for the Nuggets and the Knicks, two press conferences, and other tidbits:

-Melo basically said that he was (paraphrasing) relieved that he won't have to carry the load in NY, that he can ride someone else's coattails. All this while his teammate in Denver, Chauncey was seated right next to him. Obviously, he was referring to Amare. Game one, the number two scorer and arguably the best player on the court? Chauncey Billups. F*ck you, Melo.

-Everytime I see Josh Kroenke I can't help but think I used to watch this dude play in Boulder ten years back (I'm sure my dunk ass chanted something to him about "your Dad sells cheap plastic crap and is a driver of harsh capitalism that supresses other business.") Oh, and of course, that whole house party with the coach thing. Ten years from now, will Jacob Pullen be coaching the Rapids?

-Ty Lawson looked like a different player on Tuesday without the vortex that can be Melo. He is one of the fastest pure dribblers since AI. Seeing him and Rajon Rondo go at it could be a matchup of the two quickest in the league.

-It was weird seeing Melo and Chauncey in those Knick uniforms. I guarantee you Melo threw a fit when he was told #15 was off limits (someone named Dick McGuire. Should we say Melo got dicked?) So he took #7. Thanks for muddying the #7 jersey back here in Denver. F*ck you Melo.

-All sorts of VH1 action comes out yesterday about LaLa and her new show. Yoko Ono is impressed. The cat is officially out of the bag, pissing in your shoes and scratching up your leather couch that LaLa was instrumental in driving this to get back to NYC. Could we have at least got Carson Daly in return? F*ck you Melo.

-Sick of Chris Broussard by now? My man Fresh Marcus piped in and pointed the resemblance between Broussard and Redhead Kingpin.

-Don't underestimate the effect Chauncey leaving might have in Boulder. Hell, there's not one, but two 50 foot banners of him in the Foam Doam. Alec Burks recently said the way the team leans on Chauncey was big. From the Buff Nation, f*ck you Melo.

RELATED: The Beatnuts - "Props Over Here" - ("When I'm in New York, you know what I wanna hear...")


Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Melo Over

Smooth suave savage yet debonair
Come in the party yeah I see you stop and stare

Good riddance. Later loser. He sucks anyway. No defense. Whiner. We’re better off without him.
Some comments from the masses as the Denver Nuggets traded arguably their best player of all time in return for players who will most likely also be dealt, draft picks, and (most importantly to the Nuggets office) cash.

We all understand that Melo didn’t want to be here and that the trade had to happen (as a contingent of Jazz fans recently broke out at a game: “Melo hates Denver!” I wondered, this dude has never said his feelings exactly why he wants to leave our fair city) and it is human nature to take a “don’t let the door hit you on the ass” attitude.

But aren’t we missing the most important thing: that we are all Nuggets fans. And with this trade the Nuggets are becoming a team that is not as good. In fact, before the trade deadline Thursday, this team will be even further down the Western Conference pecking order. A collection of young players, fill ins who are destined for a short career, and injured players with bad contracts (see: Harrington, Al and Anderson, Chris.)

While many are quick to send Melo a big Denver f-you, many have already forgot the late 90s and early 2000s. Seats were readily available at games, heavily discounted (the SG Crew had tickets in those days three rows off the court for less than the cost of a 12 pack), and the fan “interest” in the team was minimal. I went to a season ticket holder “meeting” once with team brass and the gathering fit at a couple tables around the bar.

We’re headed back to those days, the so-called third “Golden Age” (I won’t count the monumental upset of the 94 team as a “Golden Age”) of the franchise will seem like the team was routinely making trips deep in the playoffs with the basketball coming to The Can in coming years. (How quick we will all forget that of the seven playoff appearances, six were one round and done appearances and all of those were decidedly one-sided affairs)

Relish what we had the spanning the glorious Golden Age (Melo’s GW shot versus the Mavs in Game three of the 2009 playoffs being the apex) because we are headed for yet another Fools Gold age.

RELATED: Double XX Posses - "Money Talks"


Friday, February 18, 2011

Friday Funk: Cell Therapy

-Notice that there are no muppets playing instruments.
-And no one is dressed as a large peacock.
-Gwyneth Paltrow is not in this video.
-When this song was released in 1995, she was in four movies, including “Seven” and an uncredited role in “High Learning”
-Busta Rhymes and Ice Cube were also in that flick. Paltrow considered changing her name to ‘G-Pal’ for the role.
-A lot of the song alludes to a “new world order.” Goodie Mob: Freemasons?
-Who’s that looking in my window? Maybe it is someone admiring your floral drapes.
-If “black helicopters swoop down” over your W-2 or 1099’s, you might want to fire your accountant. Just syain.
-Goodie Mob means “The Good Die Mostly Over Bullshit”
-The group’s first appearances were on Outkast’s classic Southernplayalisticadillacmuzik
- Who’s that looking in my window? Maybe it is Chris Broussard, seeing if you have any info on Melo.
-The album Soul Food went gold.
-Cee-Lo’s real name: Thomas DeCarlo Calloway. That was also a name of the “bad guy” in a 1980’s “coming of age” movie.
-He is credited as Thomas Burton throughout the album.
-Maybe the snowboard manufacturer sued him.
-With this album, Goodie Mob went with conspiracy theories, racism, changing neighborhoods, and social issues.
-Fast forward 15 years and Southern Hip Hop is rims, girls, and cars. Progress.
-Cee Lo is wearing a University of Georgia shirt. This video was most likely shot following the 94 football season. The top rusher on that team? Terrell Davis. Slushy Gutter connections, son.
-Who’s that looking in my window? The dude from Coldplay (G-Pal’s husband)
- “My mind won’t allow me to not be curious.” Who hasn’t seen that on a fortune cookie?
-Cee Lo left the group after their third album in 2000.
-Besides Cee-Lo, Goodie Mob consisted of T-Lo, Khujo, and Big Gipp. The group "reunited" at teh 2009 BET Hip Hop Awards.
-Who’s that looking in my window? Jim Henson wanting some freaking royalties.

Labels: ,

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Cool Calm Pete - The Ups & Downs

If you ain't checking for anything from Cool Calm Pete, then you ain't repping real Hip Hop. Or maybe you just never heard of the cat. Either way, he released a new mixtape this week to keep us fans at bay until something a bit more concrete (like maybe a real album? Pete and RA The Rugged Man are two favorite SG artists who haven't released a real full length joint in the full SG lifetime.) Nevertheless, the best part is it is free. COP IT HERE.


Friday, February 11, 2011

Bathroom Bar Art #4

FOUND BY: Commish CH
WHERE: Scottsdale, AZ

Add your captions and comments in the 'Comments' section.

Labels: ,

Tuesday, February 08, 2011

Geography Is Just A Big Word For The Avs

You ain't a convict, you got caught jaywalking
And you don't know the alphabet, but you still talking

Peter Forsberg is coming back to the Avs. Stop if you've seen or heard this before. While importing the Swedish star (new nickname: the Volvo?) most likely won't vault the Avs from below the playoff Mendoza Line (Mendauex Linne?) it will unleash thousands hundreds tens a few extra seat buyers at the Pepsi Center.

But the puzzling thing about his re-signing is the way the US government is making him reenter the country in order to get the proper visa. OK, great, the government isn't exactly known for eliminating red tape and overall effienciency (damn, I just lost all the readers who worked at a DMV.)

The Avs were in Phoenix when they learned of this fact. And they promptly decided to send Forsberg to Calgary and reenter the US from there. Phoenix to Mexico: about two hours. Phoenix to Calgary: halfway across the continent. And I'm sure there are tons of direct flights between those two cities, being that they share so many commonalities. Apparently maps or GPS aren't a tool utilized by the Avs to go along with their lack of defense and steady goaltending.

RELATED: Three Times Dope - "Funky Divdends" - ("shouldn't be used as a personal Visa card on the strength")


Monday, February 07, 2011

Super Bowl Showboating

Super SG Highlights:

--Shannon Sharpe getting into the HOF (that's the Hall Of Fame for those of you are acronym challenged. Or it could be a club owned by David Hasselhoff?) was the undoubted Denver highlight. We all knew he would get in eventually, but no one wanted a lingering years long process. That's four Donks in the last few years into Canton. Up next? Some serious push needs to be given to getting Terrell Davis into a snazzy Century 21/HOF blazer.
--Hey, Mason Crosby, now that you have a Super Bowl ring, how about coming back to Boulder and helping the group of noodle legs currently with the Buffs? And your haircut still looks like a werewolf.
--I really don't get too worked up over the halftime show, and I know that bagging on the Black Eyed Peas is old, but damn I remember when those guys (excluding Sarah from "Kids Inc") were a progressive Hip Hop troop. I'm not sure Will I Am was going for a futuristic Kool Moe Dee look though. (Quick notes: check for BEP in their former incarnation on Eazy E's "Merry Muthafuckin Xmas" and the last time Slash was worked into a rap track was 2 Live Crew's "The Fuck Shop")
--How far are the Donks from this game? The easy answer is miles and miles away. But, as the Packers showed, just getting into the playoffs is the first step. A few key free agent signings (Champ Bailey is a must. Like Charles Woodson, he will be a viable CB well into his mid-30s. Just without the neck tats) and a draft this yeatr with ZERO misses to stock the depth. That's how critical this draft is for the organization, they can't miss on one pick. That leaves the big question with our dude Tim Tebow at QB.
--Monday post-Super Bowl is national Hangover Day, with the coming few days entering us into the vast wasteland of sports hype until March Madness begins. So perhaps every Monday will be Hangover Day to cope with endless hoops, hockey, and dog shows. Slushy Gutter, indeed.
RELATED: Kool Moe Dee - "Rise And Shine"

Labels: , ,

Wednesday, February 02, 2011

Groundhog Day

Groundhog Day in Slushy Gutter Land:
-Carmelo Anthony sees his shadow, the Nuggets don't trade him for six weeks. Which happens to be past the deadline, and David Stern penalizes them by awarding them Oliver Miller.
-Tim Tebow doesn't see his shadow. He decides to make up for it by erecting a giant tent to shelter the central US from the snow storm.
-Peter Forsberg is making a comeback. Seems like we've seen that before.
-Remember in the movie where Bill Murray demolishes his radio after hearing Sonny and Cher for the umpteenth time? I want to do that whenever I hear Wacka Flocka Flame.
-Chris Anderson and Kenyon Martin inked a vicious groundhog dunking a ball on their backs.
-If you are in Groundhog Day and get super f*cked up everynight do you have a hangover the "next" day? Just wondering.
-When John Fox watches the film today of the Donk defense he might be so depressed he'll eat the groundhog.
-Today is also National Signing Day; John Embree's top recruit at CU? Ned Ryerson.
RELATED: Keith Murray - "Get Lifted"

Labels: , , ,