Thursday, April 28, 2011

Nuggets Not OK

I'm the calm one, but my crew is sort of sick...

The Nuggets and their fans looked at the scoreboard and saw a nine point lead with just over four minutes to play in Game Five. Just four minutes from returning to The Can for a Game Six and perhaps the most rabid crowd since Dikembe and crew hosted the Jazz in the same Game Six 17 years back. Another chance to go into the history books as the first team to erase a 3-0 deficit.

Quicker than a Icee poured at an OKC strip mall, the Nuggets saw the lead, the series, and the air come out of their fans. Truthfully, many Nugs fans knew that even with the nine point edge, that the team was dangerously close to losing. The trifecta of bad refs, bad offense, and one Kevin Durant made sure of that. And when you mix the three, it was all but guaranteed the Powder Blue would be seen with the Hefty bags cleaning out their lockers (it is always amusing that these millionaires with lucrative contracts with companies that make duffel bags resort to cleaning their lockers with trash bags.)

Nene and K-Mart refused to go to the basket hard and Serge Ibaka made sure their weak attempts weren't going to spoil the OKC party. Raymond Felton had critical TOs late, and Ty Lawson missed two crucial FTs that would've put the team up five with just over two to play.

It wouldn't be the NBA without the bad reffing and the worst of the lot was K-Mart's "foul" on Durant as he drove along the left wing with under a minute left. Calling a foul like that in an elimination game with that little time left? Laughable. Nearly as comical was Durant's "and one" foul called on Wilson Chandler. Unless the foul was for breathing, that call was rubbish.

Finally, the "star" sysytem was in full effect with Durant. A marvelous player, perhaps the Western Conference's best, the conspiracy troop (NBA birthers?) will say David Stern needs Durant in a possible second round Oklahoma City-Memphis (TV execs drooling over that one) matchup. Durant, unlike Denver's last superstar gets the calls. He also plays damn good basketball, and the Nuggets had no answer for him in the fourth quarter...

...Forgetting about the impending NBA labor strife, the Nuggets look to be questionable going forward. K-Mart and JR Smith will be elsewhere. Raymond Felton looks to be a commodity to trade. Wilson Chandler is a question mark. That leaves a "core" of Gallo, Ty Lawson, and Nene, with Aron Affalo on the periphery of the "core." Does that group get the team into the upper reaches of the Western Conference? The Lakers, Mavericks, and Spurs may be trending down, but the Nuggets still can't beat any of them on paper. The Thunder look to have a stranglehold on the division for the forseeable future, the Griz are moving up, and te Blazers are deep. Young stars with the Clippers and Wolves have those teams on the cusp.

Just as we were saying a year ago (after another first round exit) the Nuggets have their off-season work cut out for them. Overall, 2010-11 was a interesting season to say the least, perhaps one of the most interesting in modern Nuggets history. The optimism that flowed throughout the team just two yers ago has been supplanted with a sudden hesitation. Good news? One game better than that d-bag in NYC. Suck on that Melo.

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Monday, April 25, 2011

Sliced and Diced

Raise up, cause you cant' have it back
You say "I ain't never got gaffled like that"

Brandon Marshall, an argument, a wife with a kitchen knife, a trip to the hospital:

-If it comes out that B-Marsh was lying to the po-po in the incident's aftermath, can the Dolphins use that info to void his contract? In effect to "cut" him? "Cut" him? Get it?

-What is the most effective kitchen cutlerly to slash someone's stomach? Is it some high dollar Ginzu type ish? Some of those real knives you can cop at the dollar store? If Brandon was wearing an aluminum shirt would the knife cut right through it?

-Brandon's little brother was Colorado's top high school recruit this past year and he spurned CU and other top programs to go to UCF and be closer to Brandon's eye. Ah yes, Brandon is role model of the year.

-Where does Marshall meet these chicks? Does have a box you check if you are prone to attacking boyfriends with sharp objects?

-Over the weekend I'm sure almost everyone got in some sort of tiff with your wife. My wife asked me at one point go downstairs and put the clothes in the dryer. Not for one second, one half second, one millisecond, one iota of any measure of time did I think I might get stabbed in the stomach if I didn't. Just saying.

-He refused a trip in the ambulance in favor of taking a "private car" to the hospital. Rather than relying on all those trained medical personnel in the specially outfitted transport device, you might as well take your man's and dem's Range Rover and hope there's a Rambo knife with the fishing line in the back.

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Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Stoner Christmas

Since today is a High Holiday in the realm of weed smokin tokers, why not just a quick one-hitter. Outside of girls, has there been any subject spoke more of in Hip Hop? Guns, cars, alcohol, perhaps. Money may have its green counterpart edged too. Since the explosion of Cypress Hill in the early 90s, the izm has been a staple in the genre. The two go together like blunts and nachos.


Monday, April 18, 2011

Net Difference

Hit like Foreman when I'm brawlin
Those who think I'm fallin, I'll play your monkey-ass like a organ

The Nuggets can blame the officials all they want for butchering last night's loss to the Thunder, but they were probably expecting OKC to get the calls. After all, Kevin Durant is the brightest young star in the Western Conference and David Stern's TV buddies love those stars. Russell Westbrook has seemingly come out of nowhere to become a Robin to Durant's Batman, so he'll get the coddled calls too.

That said, the Nugs played well and with enough attitude to win until the refs blew a goaltending call that would make a Gus Macker ref blush. Kendrick Perkins had more net in his hand than Peter Parker. One ref was about four feet from the play, the others had prime views from the three point line. Rather than a slow it down play to Nene with a one point lead, the Nuggets festered and never regained their swagger.

The Nuggets have good players but no marquee names, something that has been brought up constantly by the experts, talking heads, and pundits. Last night we saw that manifest itself as the Nugs looked ruddlerless late in the game, Nene found himself wide open not wanting to take a shot, Raymond Felton chucked up a shot that landed in Tulsa, Gallo couldn't get an separation. The stars in Denver or the refs weren't burning bright.

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Thursday, April 14, 2011

Boulder Playboy Party

Things are looking up at Dear Ol' CU; a new football coach, a hoops run into the NIT final four in New York, a national championship in skiing, and now a new #1 ranking.

Looks like us tree-hugging, granola grubbing, non-washing, snowboarding, blunt burning, hackey sack playing, Grateful Dead jamming trust funders free spirits have reclaimed the coveted top spot in the almighty Playboy Party School rankings! (50 medical mj dispensaries in the city limits? That'd make Cheech, Chong, Red, Meth, and Willie Nelson blush.)

So suck it Texas. You and your weak Big 12 little sisters have fun at your get togethers drinking fruit punch and playing Twister. We've got couches to burn and kegs after kegs to drink.

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Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Rockies Shock The Pirates

This is just so classic on so many levels. The jean shorts, the USA Starter jacket pullover. The uncanny resemblance to Stone Cold Steve Austin (and the fact "that guy" also populates Western PA, when all these years I thought he only resided in the North Denver Metro Area.) The soft sided cooler he brought into the game. The lady screaming hysterically like this dude was a modern day Rodney King. The overwhelemed security guard. The Rockies bullpen battling in the background. The quick thinking wit of the crowd and the "U-S-A" chant. The nearly Keystone antics of the officers and their fancy tasers. It all adds up to comic gold and a rough hangover for this dude.


Friday, April 08, 2011

Foote Out The Door

Look at mama baby boy actin like he grown No time for sleep, I gets deep as a baritone

Avs defenseman Adam Foote will announce his retirement today. The majority of Denver sports fans didn't even know that he still plays for the Avs.

We all know the Avs glory days, sellout streak, and high TV ratings are a thing of the past, but we've gone a step beyond where the team is a strong #4 in the market and dangerously close to being #5 with the Rapids moving on up.

We salute Foote and his 30 years in the NHL; he goes back to the Quebec days when most of Colorado thought a Nordique was a ski run at Vail. Two Stanley Cups and gold medal should cement him in the rafters, and the fact he is staying in the community unlike the two other rafter dwellers might bring him more shine. (Or that he played 17 years, not 1 1/4 like Ray Borque, who's jersey...err...sweater is retired. One of the first of the cheesy Av moves.)

Here is the best defensive backstop in recent NHL history, plying his game with the NHL's worst team. Rather than gearing up for a playoff run before retirement, he'll skate away in front of 11,000 diehards and a TV audience tuned into the NBA. Thanks to bad trades, lame gimmicks, a complete inability to find a goalie the last decade, and lackluster marketing, Foote will walk away without barely a poke check.

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Wednesday, April 06, 2011

Psycho Nuggetamatical

Good riddance, I flip flows you can't imagine I break down your Flintstone style, into fragments

Save all the pyscho analysis and mentality check of the Nuggets v Thunder game, the better team won last night.

Delving into the pyche of the Powder Blue Patrol won't give the answer to the slew of missed free throws (many occuring at key juntures that would've increased or cut into leads), a suddenly Butleresque shooting percentage in the thrid quarter, or the lack of answers for a OKC front line that looks even more daunting as the playoffs approach.

The Nene v Kendrick Perkins "faceoff" (how seriously can you take a tiff involving a player in Nene whose hair looks like a '227' character?) was nothing like Claude Lemiuex's seminal turtle years back. It won't win any games or lose any. What will lose them is Nene's complete lack of space in the paint to manuever. File Kevin Durant and Gallo's technicals late in the game (nice to see Durant go all Kevin Durant and bully the Euro players) under the same outcome. No one came close to anything resembling defense versus Durant all game.

The Nugs had no back court shrink to advise how James Harden and his beard could have a solid night while Russell "Don't Call Me Michael or Bryant" Westbrook didn't do crap until the fourth quarter. It doesn't take a PhD to see that Ty Lawson was really the only guy back there who brought any game, especially JR Smith, who had one of those "oh, that's JR" nights.

As we sit on the playoff eve, the Nuggets fell off their post-LA run into questionville quicker than the 16-0 OKC run. No need for Dr Melphi, Dr Freud, or Dr Suess at the Pepsi Center, just a quick refresher on Dr Naismith's game.

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Monday, April 04, 2011

Nuggets: Furious Styles

So bring submission to the rap recognition My right hand is itchin from the shit that I'm scripting...

The Nuggets beat the Lakers in LA yesterday afternoon on national TV, clinching their eighth straight playoff berth. Some thoughts:

-Yes, K-Mart iced the game (speaking of ice, Martin has to have the scowliest ice grill after a hoop in the NBA. Yep, "scowliest") with his tip-in, but his complete manhandling of Lamar Odom to get the ball was most impressive. Mr. Kardashian couldn't hold an inch against K-Mart, and Ron Artest, lined up to K-Mart's left, offered little help. (How's that threesome in the realm of NBA's craziest?) Credit the refs for actually getting part of the game right and letting the play develop on the free throw.

-Speaking of many hoops do the Lakers give up every season because Kobe is behind the play complaining to the refs. It seems like Kobe has taken the complaining title from Tim Dincan at some point over the last three years. Wilson Chandler played Kobe well, but in Kobe's mind no one outside of the Monstars can guard him, so there must be a foul.

-Lawrence Fishburne's three movie cahracter run of King Of New York, Boyz N The Hood, and Deep Cover were some of the coolest cats in early 90s cinema. That's why it was kind of a buzz kill to see him sitting in the front row in what looked like pajamas.

-Gallo can provide matchup problems on the offensive end for any team, as the Lakers had no real answer for him. If the playoff matchups hold true, you may see Kevin Durant on him.

-Those 'NBA Green' t-shirts look like some hemp pullover. This is the NBA though, can they be smoked?

-Speaking of early 90s, Wilson Chandler has the coolest haircut in the NBA right now until someone brings back the Patrick Ewing type fade.

-Jeff Van Gundy: please shut up.

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