Thursday, March 29, 2012

T-Dot Done

I get juiced when I let loose a little of my cleverness
Up under my follicles with no mousse

When the Powder Blue Patrol looks back in April and wonders a) "how did we miss the playoffs" or b) "damn Okie City is waxing the sh*t out of us right now" they might need to only look back on last night's horrendous 4th quarter for the reason of their plight.

The team went north of the border to T-Dot and turned in a final 10 minutes that made native son Bryan Adams last album look triple platinum. Cuts like a knife applies to the Nuggets right about now.

The giddiness of routing a Bulls team on Monday was replaced by a seemingly disjointed team in Canada. Dare I say, but the Nuggets looked like the pre-Melo squad last night- a collection of athleticism and lots of "long" players. But in the end, they were short on making a simple basket against a piss poor Raptor team (still trying to figure out if the Toronto area is home to a vast deposit of dinosaur bones, or if the naming of the team in the mid-90s was inspired by the most popular movie of the same era. Damn, they were this close to the Toronto Buzz Lightyears.)

The Nene trade and signing of Wilson Chandler might not have set teh team back, but at this point they seem completely incapable of playing 40 minutes of team hoops. Hmmm, you get rid of a long time post player in George Karl's system, add Javale McGee (his antics in Washington are well known), and bring in Wilson Chandler, who was freestyling in China for five months and you can't get team basketball? Or even a damn hoop in the last quarter? Maybe that dig will unearth more than dinosaur bones, but also the Nugs playoff hopes.

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Thursday, March 22, 2012

Tim York City

You didn't listen to all the aholes out there and think the Donks had no shot at Peyton Manning, did you?

I keep it strong, while you scream word is bond...

With Mr Cut That Meat in the fold, we say goodbye to one Tim Tebow, (cue Boyz II Men "It's So Hard To Say Goodbye") who when this blog is finally put to bed (hopefully it's brushing teeth and changing into PJs about now) he'll probably be up on the SG Rushmore with Melo, AI, and that RB named Kock.

But the fun isn't over for Timmy. He's going to New York. As the old school salsa ad once said New - York - City?! (To be fair, with all of its ethnic enclaves, I'm sure that NYC is more than capable of producing some bomb ass salsa. Yeah, I just said "bomb ass" like it's 1997 all over again.)

Seriously, picture Tebow in NYC. Better yet, picture him in North Jersey rocking a skin tight Ed Hardy shirt, spiked hair, some white sneakers and two earrings. Ronnie, Pauly D, the Sitch, and Timmy Twotimes. GTL isn't God The Lord out there. He thought Denver was bad with girls fawning over him? The run on hairspray to bed Timmy is off the charts right now.

But maybe Tim will choose to live in the city. Times Square is real tame nowadays, just to see Tim strollin in ol school Time's Square past strip joints, drug spots, and check cashing joints would be priceless. Will Tim embrace the NYC Hip Hop scene? Maybe Mobb Deep has a spot for him. Tim politicking with RZA on the latest Wu tour? Will he find three chatty gal pals for a third "Sex And The City Installment"?

Football wise, Tebow and the Jets should be an experiment worth watching. Lifestyle wise, the City That Never Sleeps is getting one new resident who's in bed at 9pm.

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Monday, March 19, 2012

Buff Respect

The Buffs wrapped up their post season run Saturday night with a loss to the 3rd seeded Baylor Bears. The SG was live in Albuquerque for the Thursday matchup with UNLV before taking in Saturday back in CO:

--The Buffs more then "hung" with Baylor through the first 30 minutes on Saturday, they were carrying play in many spurts. Although being worked on the boards, especially the offensive end, Andre Roberson and crew got theirs when needed. With 10 minutes left, CU had a real chance to really extend the lead and get the Bears to play from behind.

--But then Brady Heslip and crew decided not only to dominate inside, but from the arc as well. The Buffs 3point defense, which had been so stellar in the Pac 12 Championship versus Arizona and the UNLV game, suddenly went soft. Heslip and his three point monocle celebration warmed up to the point where the Buffs couldn't catch up. Someone get that dude a haircut and some defense.

--The consensus is the Buffs are in good hands for the future; with some potent scorers returning and a top 25 recuriting class coming. Askia Booker should transition well into the scoring void with Carlon Brown's graduation. The point will be well handled with Spencer Dinwiddie and his stache, and Roberson will get much needed help from Colorado Springers Josh Scott and Wesley Gordon. Jeremy Adams seems ready to contribute after health concerns and Roberson will get his. And the Buffs are still waiting on word from Peyton Manning.

--Baylor fans chanting "Big 12 Rejects" late in the game need just a little reminder of their pouting act of the Summer of 2010 during conference realignment. It was the Bears who were rejected by the Pac, and then basically pulled out every stop to keep the Big 12 together. It seems with a Heisman and two resurgent hoops programs that the Bears suddenly fancy themselves the Protestant Notre Dame. Just remember, Waco is more closer to the town from 'Footloose' before South Bend.

--One of the most impressive aspects of the tourney runs is the support from Buff Nation. The amount of Black And Gold and the noise made in ABQ caught the eyes and ears of many a national media type. Not to be overlooked is the work of the AD and the student C-Unit, who sand, chanted, and cheered all weekend in LA and ABQ. Alas, ABQ (gimme a break, try typing the whole town that many times) has plenty of brews to satisfy our Colorado thirst.

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Sunday, March 11, 2012

SG Bracket Challenge: Champs Edition

A year after the awkwardness of Tad Boyle's squad sitting in his house waiting for an NCAA bid that never came (say, anyone going to eat all these jalapeno poppers? I'll just take them home) the Buffs made sure there would be no such drama this year.

They weathered four full games in less than 70 hours, a putrid stretch of offense in the title game, and rode a stellar 14 seconds of defense (and crazy support from the C-Unit CU student section ) to capture the Pac 12 crown. Let's take Kobe's jersey while were here and grab some In-And-Out Burgers before we leave this piece, bitches.

As we said over on Twitter: New conference, new trophy.

Now we await where the Buffs will be seeded and if they will square off versus a traditional hoops school, a mid major, or in a weird convergence, Peyton Manning.

In the meantime there's the little matter of the SG Brackets Challenge '12. The fifth edition of the contest sees us going all soft. No Mummys, no Count Chocula, no Hulk Hogan, nary a cape in the house. The loser between Commish CH and five time Slushy Gutter Winner TW will have to do absolutely nothing except bear the shame.

The winner of the Bracket Challenge gets the honor of being hailed and referred to as the Ultimate Hoops God here on the SG for one full year. Sign up is easy, Yahoo ID is all that is needed, invite anyone and everyone, hoops knowledge not required and in fact is shunned.



ID: 93463


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Friday, March 09, 2012

15 Years Ago...

Damn. 15 years since Biggie Smalls passed. On one hand it feels a lifetime ago when you think of all that has went down since then. On the other hand, it seems liek the proverbial yesterday. I often wonder, if Big were alive today would he still be relevant? Would he have tweaked and changed his style (ala Fat Joe or Busta) to churn out hits? We'll never know, but we can celebrate the music that he did leave us. 1994-95 style, lace up your Tims and rock that Coogi sweater. RIP to one of Hip Hop's true icons.


Wednesday, March 07, 2012

Peyton Denver Bound?

But things changed since I was twelve years old
I specialize in wreckin mics and area codes...

The SG panel of drunks experts have put together their comprehensive rankings of teams Peyton Manning might end up signing with this off-season. Here's a snapshot:

1- Miami Dolphins
2- Houston Texans
5- Kansas City Chiefs
7- Tennesee Titans
20- Winnipeg Blue Bombers
99- Ed's Bailbonds Softball D Team
100- Cast of the 'Jersey Shore' (The Peytonation?)
276- Bugs Bunny/MJ's Team OR The Monstars
341- Nardo & Jose's Ultimate Frisbee Team
499- Men's Apparel WalMart 456 Salina, KS
702- The Gagne's on 'Family Feud'
1045- SWAT Team
1292- Any team coached by Dan Hawkins
1773- The 2012 Cameo Reunion (he can't wear the red jockstrap)
1422- Robotic Super Chimps bent on World takeover
15000- Denver Broncos

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Monday, March 05, 2012

Saving Chauncey

The SG went on assingment to the Valley of the Sun this weekend (yes, we witnessed the Rox and D-Backs stellar 1-1 tie; how very soccer-esque of them.)

While perusing a local sports apparel shop (top team in this Phoenix shop? Suns? The Cardinals? Nope, that would be the LA Lakers, represented all over the place) we came across a familiar face. One Nuggets Chauncey Billups figurine, complete with tats and everything. How Chauncey found his way to the desert is perplexing, probably filled with typos on order forms or misdirected shipments.

The best part? Chauncey was $4. The SG sprung into action and rescued our Colorado hero from the heat and cactus. While the real Chauncey is in a professional spot with a serious injury and increasing age, his plastic doppleganger is safe back in the Centennial State.

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