Sunday, August 23, 2009

Left Hand Handiwork

A rhythm recipe that you'll savor
Doesn't matter if you're minor or major

Are you a carpenter? Go into work tomorrow and try to build whatever with your off hand? A doctor? Use your left hand to work the tounge depressor and you'll likely get quite the gag reflex. Work on a calculator? Use your lefty and you'll have some crazy figures for your clients.

Or maybe you're a quarterback. You wouldn't dare throw a pass with your left hand...would you?

Apparently if you're a QB in Denver, left handed passes are OK. And each time they end with horrible results, as Kyle Orton demonstrated in the Donks' preseason loss.

Outside of the left handed gaffe, Orton had a decent night. But the left handed ineptitude is what we will remember, as it was a turnover deep in the red zone (again) and after that pick Orton took a nose dive and completed only one more pass.

Put your head down and get into the endzone, throw it into traffic and hope someone gets it, drop kick it through the uprights. Just don't look like some shithead improvising in a 10 year old flag football game.

Get ready Donk fans, the Orton Era is just beginning. Next week he'll line up behind the guard.

RELATED: Cypress Hill - "Hand on the Pump" - ("Sawed off shotgun, hand on the pump, left hand on a forty")

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