Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Linas in Greece

Scientific, my hand kissed it
Robotic let's think optimistic...

Almost expected, Nuggets' swingman Linas Kleiza is leaving the Nugs and the NBA and signing with Greek Euro power Olympiakos.
We will miss Linas around here at the SG. Not only for his outbursts that helped the Nugs to victory over the years, but mainly for the accent that he never had. We always wanted Linas to talk like Ivan Drago or some Commie bastard from an 1980's action film, but dammit, high school on the East Coast and college in Missouri runied that for everyone.
So here is Linas' goodbye letter to Denver, the way we want to hear it:
Dearest Denver Nugget Fan:

Today Linas weep. He leave beautiful city of Colorado. Many friend, many hot breasted woman, mountain, snow. Do not cry for Linas. Linas will crush foe in Greece. Linas will not wear silly blue stripe shirt and scarf looking like prancing gypsy. Linas will wear the testicle of fallen basketball player who try to stop Linas! Linas clean cut, hair look like stealth warrior. Greek player look like vagrant man feasting on pile of steamy Ox shit! New teammate Josh Childress. Von Wafer. New team win title with Linas. New team sculpt Greek statue of Linas. Not with small penis on sculpture. Big penis...have to bring more concrete for Linas penis!!! After Greece, all Europe. Real Madrid like a maggot on Linas finger. AC Milan like a twig that Linas break over knee! I miss Carmelo. Chauncey like Linas brother. Birdman...ahhh, Birdman...he in Linas heart. Rocky make Linas Gatorade out of nose. Linas miss Dippin Dot... warm pretzyl with gold mustard. Chimichanga, Chef Boy R Dee. Do not cry for Linas. Linas take over Greece! Linas take over Europe. Fear Linas Europe!!!



Anonymous yakov smirnoff said...

whatta country!

8:52 AM  
Anonymous Mrs Commish said...

just totally read that with the accent.

9:51 AM  
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