Wednesday, March 21, 2007

Linas Kleiza will break you

I crush your whole brain frame

Cause you couldn't maintain the funk
That have your rap style for lunch, chump...

Other than Carmelo and AI the best Nuggets player right now is undoubtedly Linas Kleiza, aka The Lithuanian Leaper. Kleiza has become the steady sixth man as Coach Karl has shortened up his bench during the current five game streak.

I was surprised the other day when Kleiza was being interviewed after the game and surprisingly he was very well spoken and articulate. Call me Captain Stereotype, but I assumed Kleiza would sound like Nicoli Volkov or 'Krebs' from the old Budweiser commercial.

Maybe Linas could spice it up next time he goes off for a 360 jam or draining six treys and go all Ivan Drago on us in the postgame interview.

*TV: Linas, a tremendous game. The Lakers looked to be keying on Melo, leaving you free for your shots.
*LK: Laker are weak. I strong like Grizzly Bear. Linas smash Laker.
*TV: You slowed down Kobe enough in the 3rd quarter to open up the big lead.
*LK: Kobe, hah! He can not get past Linas. Linas makes Kobe look like little kitty cat. Meow.
*TV: They seemed to get a bit physical as the 4th quarter dragged on.
*LK: Hah! Feeesickal!? Linas mother more feeeesickal when Linas burp at dinner. Linas will shoot. Linas dunk. Linas pass to Aleen. Linas obliterate Laker.
*TV: You have Steve Nash and the Suns coming in next. How do you prepare?
*LK: Nash look like stinky girl prostitute in Vilnuis. Nash feel power of Linas. He will cry like baby who doesn't have borsch.
*TV: After the Suns you have quite a road stretch. Does that loom on your mind?
*LK: Road no scare Linas. Road only scare coward. Linas go on road anywhere...New Jersey, Moscow...crush them like bug. Linas rain blows on their head.
*TV: How far can this team go Linas?
*LK: Linas take across the universe, we will pummel all enemy. Laker, Sun, Jayhawk, Pole, Soviet. Linas and Nugget, competition...nyet!
*TV: Thank you Linas, good luck.
*LK: No! We get vodka, eat lamb, dance, then we hump. You and Linas. You will like.



Anonymous Anonymous said...

That Linas Klieza is pretty tough...keep him away

10:49 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Linus used "the accent" during that interview - right?

7:34 PM  
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8:33 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hey Celia, call me!

7:37 AM  
Blogger The Humanity Critic said...

I'm not fucking with Linus, you need to see how he responds when you ask him about Apollo Creed's

12:18 PM  
Blogger Dallas Penn said...

funny ish. nice Redman quote. get your Redman on...

btw, EFF Humanity Critic

9:48 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I would chop Linus in the head. Poland forever.

8:45 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Linas Kleiza kicks ass! There's no way around that... And it'd be funny to hear him actually talk like that in an interview:P

11:07 AM  
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