Kick your, dopest rhyme I'll break it up like 3rd BassI'm from the crew that sets it off by sprayin beer in your face...
Upon further review, the SG takes a look at the non-count that was the Slushy Gutter Summer Mission. Not like we were counting the pure shit-headedness that is 528 beers, but it might've went a lil something like this in the beer progression:
BEER #1- An ice cold Coors Light pre-Rockies game. It might’ve been that CL that contributed to the early season struggles.
6- A traditional Michelob Ultra at the conclusion of the Bolder Boulder, overlooking North Boulder from Folsom Field while listening to Edan’s “
Promised Land.” A truly niiiiiiiiice moment.
19-34- Selling cheap garage sale crap is made so a lot easier by continuously downing CLs.
38- Some Hawaiian lager. Aloha.
39- A Miller Genuine Draft;
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"Hip Hop Drunkies"75- Not the biggest fan of Texas, but a Shiner Bock? Yeeeeeee haw!
85- We got it for cheap: a Busch Light makes an appearance.
110- Slushy Gutter Alum Slick Rip’s bday means a crisp Rock Bottom Lumpy Dog. Do not confuse it with Beaver’s fat friend Lumpy.
117- A Skinny Dip microbrew;
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"Closer"142- A Tommy Knocker Glacier Ale is the perfect ending to the Georgetown Half Marathon as I come over a mountain trail to see the mountain town glowing in the early morning sun, The Grouch’s
“Show You the World” filling my ear.
154- A fresh Coors Light as I look over the wonder of Colorado’s Royal Gorge. (Or as my friend Uncle Buck called it later in the summer, the “Flaming Gorge”.)
199- A Coors Light while Current Slushy Gutter Winner Juck and former two time Slushy Gutter Winner Mummy and myself spend a few minutes trying to get a washer on a string onto a hook. Simple minds flock together.
206- A Dos XX for the first time; stay thirsty my friends.
230- A Red Stripe, Hooray for beer!
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"Tap The Bottle"232- Represent the real with Buffalo Gold.
234- A Sweaty Betty. No, that is a beer, not some slump buster. Seriously, get your mind out of the gutter.
250- State of Hip Hop and sports discussion with Slushy Gutter alum
Trav. Later I go to the Rox game and score a free CL from the concessionnaire (255) and see some dude in a Jason Sehorn jersey. I end my drinking day about 2:30; Trav texts at 11pm claiming he’s “still at it!”
270- No Colorado Summer would be complete with out a trip to Glenwood and a Hanging Lake Ale.
283- A can of Corona at the pool is preceded by a cool run along the Roaring Fork River towards Mount Sopris with
Pacewon and Mr Green blasting the iPod.
289- The coldest Coors in all of Colorado at Macinelli’s Pizza. Don’t believe me? Ask Former Slushy Gutter Winner JBiz (hi haters), who had a one and his penis froze off.
300- Sunshine Wheat topped with a sweet lemon.
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"Smooth Operator"316- Massive goblets of CL at the iconic Edgewater Inn.
340- A Rally Cap Ale, so good I turned my hat inside out and backwards and chanted "hey batter batter batter swiiiiiiing."
355- A Haystack Wheat. If beer was a needle in a haystack, I'm buying a hungry cow.
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"The Potion"368- As per tradition, a one-year old bday party CL; and another and another and…you get the picture.
388-393- Another CO icon bar: The Bucksnort Saloon in Sphinx Park. CLs at high altitude.
398- Kicking it old school: Miller High Life.
417- A Corona can at FF draft #1, I end up with a bunch of shitty players; the beer is deemed better than my team.
435- There’s been a lot of Miller Chills drank thus far and when I started shitting LimeAde, this was the last one.
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"You Gots To Chill" (and for you old school R&B heads: Guy -
"Let's Chill" )
440-453- Our traditional draft; 8 cases are drank. Slushy Gutter winners abound.
505- A parking lot at Mile High CL as Slushy Gutter Alum
Broz mans the tailgate grill and calls for coeds to have some “Slutburgers”.
511- I had hoped to avoid this beer, but it was the only freaking one around post CU-game: a Miller Lite. Desperate times.
522- A kiss from my beautiful wife as I enjoy a Lumpy Dog.
528- End game, 6pm Labor Day. A CL. But who the fuck was counting?
Labels: Former Slushy Gutter Winner, Summer Mission 08 does not exist