Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Beers, Rhymes, and Life


Kick your, dopest rhyme I'll break it up like 3rd Bass
I'm from the crew that sets it off by sprayin beer in your face...

Upon further review, the SG takes a look at the non-count that was the Slushy Gutter Summer Mission. Not like we were counting the pure shit-headedness that is 528 beers, but it might've went a lil something like this in the beer progression:

BEER #
1- An ice cold Coors Light pre-Rockies game. It might’ve been that CL that contributed to the early season struggles.
6- A traditional Michelob Ultra at the conclusion of the Bolder Boulder, overlooking North Boulder from Folsom Field while listening to Edan’s “Promised Land.” A truly niiiiiiiiice moment.
19-34- Selling cheap garage sale crap is made so a lot easier by continuously downing CLs.
38- Some Hawaiian lager. Aloha.
39- A Miller Genuine Draft; RELATED: Tha Alkaholiks - "Hip Hop Drunkies"
75- Not the biggest fan of Texas, but a Shiner Bock? Yeeeeeee haw!
85- We got it for cheap: a Busch Light makes an appearance.
110- Slushy Gutter Alum Slick Rip’s bday means a crisp Rock Bottom Lumpy Dog. Do not confuse it with Beaver’s fat friend Lumpy.
117- A Skinny Dip microbrew; RELATED: Quasimoto f/ MF Doom - "Closer"
142- A Tommy Knocker Glacier Ale is the perfect ending to the Georgetown Half Marathon as I come over a mountain trail to see the mountain town glowing in the early morning sun, The Grouch’s “Show You the World” filling my ear.
154- A fresh Coors Light as I look over the wonder of Colorado’s Royal Gorge. (Or as my friend Uncle Buck called it later in the summer, the “Flaming Gorge”.)
199- A Coors Light while Current Slushy Gutter Winner Juck and former two time Slushy Gutter Winner Mummy and myself spend a few minutes trying to get a washer on a string onto a hook. Simple minds flock together.
206- A Dos XX for the first time; stay thirsty my friends.
230- A Red Stripe, Hooray for beer! RELATED: Young Black Teenagers - "Tap The Bottle"
232- Represent the real with Buffalo Gold.
234- A Sweaty Betty. No, that is a beer, not some slump buster. Seriously, get your mind out of the gutter.
250- State of Hip Hop and sports discussion with Slushy Gutter alum Trav. Later I go to the Rox game and score a free CL from the concessionnaire (255) and see some dude in a Jason Sehorn jersey. I end my drinking day about 2:30; Trav texts at 11pm claiming he’s “still at it!”
270- No Colorado Summer would be complete with out a trip to Glenwood and a Hanging Lake Ale.
283- A can of Corona at the pool is preceded by a cool run along the Roaring Fork River towards Mount Sopris with Pacewon and Mr Green blasting the iPod.
289- The coldest Coors in all of Colorado at Macinelli’s Pizza. Don’t believe me? Ask Former Slushy Gutter Winner JBiz (hi haters), who had a one and his penis froze off.
300- Sunshine Wheat topped with a sweet lemon. RELATED: Big Daddy Kane - "Smooth Operator"
316- Massive goblets of CL at the iconic Edgewater Inn.
340- A Rally Cap Ale, so good I turned my hat inside out and backwards and chanted "hey batter batter batter swiiiiiiing."
355- A Haystack Wheat. If beer was a needle in a haystack, I'm buying a hungry cow. RELATED: Ludacris - "The Potion"
368- As per tradition, a one-year old bday party CL; and another and another and…you get the picture.
388-393- Another CO icon bar: The Bucksnort Saloon in Sphinx Park. CLs at high altitude.
398- Kicking it old school: Miller High Life.
417- A Corona can at FF draft #1, I end up with a bunch of shitty players; the beer is deemed better than my team.
435- There’s been a lot of Miller Chills drank thus far and when I started shitting LimeAde, this was the last one. RELATED: EPMD - "You Gots To Chill" (and for you old school R&B heads: Guy - "Let's Chill" )
440-453- Our traditional draft; 8 cases are drank. Slushy Gutter winners abound.
505- A parking lot at Mile High CL as Slushy Gutter Alum Broz mans the tailgate grill and calls for coeds to have some “Slutburgers”.
511- I had hoped to avoid this beer, but it was the only freaking one around post CU-game: a Miller Lite. Desperate times.
522- A kiss from my beautiful wife as I enjoy a Lumpy Dog.
528- End game, 6pm Labor Day. A CL. But who the fuck was counting?

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9 Comments:

Anonymous poop de jour said...

My brother and his crew had a "mack tape" that they played when they were kicking int with the ladies in our basement trying to get their peepees wet. That Guy song was on there. Memories.

8:13 AM  
Blogger Travis said...

I think half of my summer beer consumption came in that weekend

3:42 PM  
Anonymous www.ihategaybiz.com said...

GayBiz's wabker fell off? Did he then dress in a bonnet and collect My Little Pony dolls? Oh wait, he already does that.

10:41 AM  
Blogger Juck said...

Doesn't Unlce Buck know the Flaming Gorge is in Utah?
www.utah.com/nationalsites/flaming_gorge.htm

3:22 PM  
Anonymous Rap Music said...

Love beer ... liquid bread

3:08 PM  
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