GABF Represent

Commish CH, current Slushy Gutter Winner T-Dub, and former Slushy Gutter Winner JL Smooth attended the Great American Beer Fest in Denver last night. Some highlights:

-The line to get in is long. Like longer than the line to see Empire Strikes Back in 81. I ask my crew what would make the waiting go faster. One says "beer" the other says "strippers." That could actually be the answer to all of life's ails.

-To pass the line time we could do the Pipelayer dance?

-5:30: Festival open, a large cheer. The line starts to move swiftly. Somewhere the TSA at the airport feels a shudder.

-There's been 14 Slushy Gutters awarded; between the three of us we have nine of them. We curse the other five winners.

-I see a group of Juggalos. Do they serve Faygo beer?

-There's a dude with his two year old at the festival. As a fellow dad I am torn between shunning him or giving him Dad of the Year.

-The Humpty Dance is being played. Seriously, Hump how did you pull chicks at Burger King? And why BK, was Wendy's closed? McDonald's being remodeled? Why you fronting on Arby's Hump?

-Beer #1 is a selection from Colorado Boy brewery. Colorado Boy, sounds like a gay travel agency, but is a good ice breaker.

-Pretzel necklaces are the rage at the festival. They help cleanse the mouth and keep your belly full. Me and Smooth sport them while T-Dub is jealous. We meet up with our man Father Tuck, who offers hugs and crushes half my pretzels.

-Smooth and T-Dub are popping boners over a beer called Pliny the Elder. While they wait in line, I scoop up three other beers. Opportunity, son.

-I've exhausted most of my pretzels, and I as a take it off T-Dub tries to snatch it and it falls and smashes to the ground. Can you call party foul on that? Or Pretzel Foul?

-I sample a chile beer and surprisingly it is very tasty. Ole!

-Brooklyn Brewery is there and I can't help mumble "Where's Brooklyn at!?" They are not impressed.

-There's lots of dudes taking notes of all the beers they drink. Probably some nerdy blogger. I mean who takes notes for a blog...oh wait.

-The brewery that does Olde English is there. I scan the memory banks and determine that I haven't had a OE since 1994. Damn straight, I got me one. Somewhere the 94 Commish is hollering.

-I sample a Key Lime Pie Beer. Holy crap, you can taste the lime, the marshmallow and the graham crackers. I feel like I'm sitting on a porch on a summer day.

-Time to grub and I get a chicken sandwich. This isn't a standard sando, there might well be a whole damn chicken on this bun. Second wind has arrived.

-We're in another line when I dude with a beard with long hair and a beard blows past everyone claiming he only has to wash his hands. The janitor yells "hey, ya'll Jesus has to keep his hands clean, make way!"

-Smooth and TDub are in line while me and Tuck are making fun of 'Fedora Guys', which there seems to be a lot of. TDub strikes a conversation with them and we find out they are from our hometown and actually cool dudes. Asshole alert and it points right at me.

-There's a few drunks in the crowd, but most of the drunks are working behind the tables serving the beer. Now if that could only apply to everyone's job.

-A chubby dude is waving to his friends across the aisle and T-Dub waves back. They aren't amused. Beer: makes most people friendly, unless you're fat.

-The floor is getting slick as people clear out, so slick we think about rocking some genie pants and doing some Hammer moves.

-A server is reaching drunkeness. How do I know? She's dressed as a pirate and pouring our glasses while it rests in her cleavage.

-I've knocked out the OE, so I double my pleasure with a PBR.

-Our ride is en route. We get a "beer two minute warning" and we all successfully navigate the two minute drill to score a beer TD.

RELATED: Tha Alkaholiks - "Make Room"

Buffs Gash Goats

The SG Crew ventured to Invesco Field at Mile High to take in the Buffs hammering of the Rams. A brief timeline:

6:15- Clarence Cricket arrives at my house; Colorado, the only state in the union where people get up earlier on off days than for work.

6:20- Hot bagels!

6:45- We arrive at four time Slushy Gutter winner TW's crib. He asks Clarence if he's wearing an over abundance of Axe Body Spray. Clarence says it's "bug spray."

7:00- We arrive to pick up three time Slushy Gutter winner Juck. He and his friend Frank answer the door drinking two cold Colorado Native Lagers. Birds of a feather.

7:30- We have to wait in a line to get into the parking lots at 8am. Damn lines. You know what makes lines more bearable? An ice cold Coors Light.

8:00- Lot C is open, the SG Crew has staked their spot. More ice cold Coors Lights.

8:10- Sirius Backspin Classic Hip Hop Channel is playing only songs from 1990 all weekend. Somehow MC Hammer's "Pray" and LL's "Around The Way Girl" don't get the tailgate rocking.

8:30- Breakfast burritoes. Many. Tons. Like Mexico doesn't have any left.

9:00- We questioned if we could down 50 beers in the first hour. I have four beer tabs in my pocket. Oh, so close.

9:30- The lot is not even close to half full. I say half full because I'm the eternal optimist.

9:45- Drunk girl sighting #1. A nearby girl is taunting CSU fans as she dances to 70's rock band Boston.

10:00- Eight tabs in my pocket. Progress.

10:15- I always get a kick out of LL's line in "Momma Said Knock You Out" where he talks about his nine being easy to load. Yes, LL the gangster, and his gun is very user friendly.

10:00- The lot is surprisingly mellow. Someone needs to light a couch on fire or something.

11:00- Tailgate begins to pack it in. Mrs Commish and I head for the gate with four beers in hand. Lines at the gate. Remember what helps those pesky lines.

12:00- Kickoff. Stadium is no more than at half capacity. I say half capacity because I'm the eternal optimist. Or drunk.

1st Q- TW tells me over and over, "Can you believe this, college football?" Yeah, I believe it when I send them my season ticket bill every year.

2nd Q- CU looks flat, but they still control the game. McKnight scores after he was so open that I could've covered him from the stands.

2nd Q- CU blocks a Ram kick to go into the half with a shutout. No beers in the stadium, so we too are shut out.

3rd Q- CU is in total control. This CSU team is not very good. Their fans are leaving in droves. Fuck it, the stadium is 3/4 empty.

3rd Q- CSU forgoes a 4th and 1 to get a FG on the board. Our section takes it as a diss and demands CU "go up top" the rest of the game.

4th Q- This is the best bunch of CU WR's I've seen in sometime. Hence, more chanting to "go up top"

4th Q- Announced crowd of nearly 61K. I call bullshit and start to count myself. I make it to about 39 and stop.

Final- Game is over and we decide to not take in the presentation of the ever-cheesy Centennial Cup. You know the trophy at the local bar that they won in rec league softball? That's better than the Centennial Cup.

3:15- Some piece of crap has taken down our flagpole and stole the State of Colorado flag. Probably the Governor.

4:00- Cops. Lots of cops in riot gear, on horse, on gold carts, on those tiny motorbikes that clowns ride.

4:00- I made up the clown bike thing.

4:30- I'm home and surprisingly I'm half coherent. Hell, that calls for more CLs!

RELATED: Poor Righteous Teachers- "Rock Dis Funky Joint"

Dragin at Mile High

The Slushy Gutter Crew ventured out this weekend to take in the Mile High Nationals at Bandimere Speedway here in CO. Some highlights:

-A strange detour as the night begins as we stop at a smoke shop. I figure someone needs some cigars. But no, the purchase? Snuff. JBiz** calls it "anal snuff" and juvenile humor ensues.

-The second stop is at a C-Store for tall cans. A sign on the door offers an "upgrade" from an old soda glass to a new one. Parting with my 1994 Jurassic Park cup will be bitter but in the end well worth it.

-The tall cans are a frosty reward for a hot day, however TDub*** cannot open his. According to him the pop top is "broken." According to the rest of us, he is the broken one.

-We are listening to Special Ed and talking dirt track racing. The conversations fuse together and somehow Special Ed owns and operates a dirt race track.

-What crowd do I expect at the races? Strictly the redneck white-bred sect. However, I am wrong. There are black rednecks, Hispanic rednecks, Goth rednecks, gangster rednecks, hippie rednecks, etc. Drag racing: the great unifier.

-Pickles* jokingly says "they don't serve beer here." TDub looks at him and says "I'll kill you."

-One dude is wearing a Motley Crue tshirt, another an Iron Maiden shirt. These aren't the ones you can buy at Target, these are straight from 1986. Somewhere, the 80s Commish* is rocking his jean jacket but countering the headbangers with his Public Enemy shirt.

-Anti tobacco crusaders wouldn't like this venue. Smokers galore. Dudes with a half a can of chew in their grills. And of course, our resident snuff user. JBiz still chuckles when he calls it "anal snuff"

-I hate Bud Light Lime. To me it tastes like stale Bud mixed with lime Kool Aid. I hate it even more now because they are selling 24 ounce cans of it for $11.

-Motorcyles are racing now. They are like some futuristic Tron like bikes.

-After the bikes are done, every pit guy comes out and combs the track. It reminds me of the giant comb from Spaceballs. I chuckle to myself, but no one else is amused.

-Decepticon Sean's brother has six Bud Light bottles with him. Not six empties, but six full bottles. That's $36 worth of hooch for one guy. In college I could buy a keg of beer for that.

-Some very helpful necks break down most of the proceedings for us during the funny car runs. The drivers don't necessarily like the high altitude racing in Colorado. Somewhere Mike Hampton agrees.

-Each run (about 7 seconds) costs about $15,000. Obama's stimulus has apparently trickled down to drag racing.

-Ashley Force is the superstar of the proceedings. Her shirts are everywhere and her paddock is mobbed by fans. Unlike some of her hot female counterparts in other racing disciplines, she is actually one of the top drivers. Still, the main comments from fans are about her tits.

-The noise, vibration, and flash of the car shakes everything from my eyelids to my ball sack. Next time, I'm wearing a jock strap.

-My earplugs could supply enough wax for a candle. Someone send the Commish some damn Q-tips.

-Jeez Steve** and some other patrons have gotten themselves into a near Battle Royale near the starting line. Think Sharks versus Jets standoff in wife beaters and multi colored racing hats.

-It starts to rain and lightning heavily during the top alcohol fuel dragsters. We're going to need a big damn squeegee.

-The snuffer in the group has become Tyrone Biggums with the damn stuff.

-During the rain delay we venture to the beer tent in the paddock area. It smells like piss.

-I take a tour of the Skoal tent. I have to fill out more paperwork to get into said tent than when I registered to vote. After I fil out the needed paperwork, a buxom blonde in a skimpy Skoal outfit asks "What brand do you smoke?" to which I reply that I dont smoke. She asks a follow up of "what brand do you chew?" And my answer is the same. The look on her face is somewhat saying "then why the hell are you in here?" The look on my face is 1- it's raining outside and 2- you and ten other girls are wearing slutty outfits.

-The rain and lightning aren't letting up, but the beer is still flowing. Someone buys some fries with a gallon of ketchup and they are gone in 7.23 seconds. They timed us on the big board, it is the best time of the day.

-With the weather, we venture to the Rock Rest Saloon in Golden for a burger and cold pitchers. There's a guy there dancing with his pool cue like he's Patrick Swayze and it's Jennifer Grey.

-Word comes from the track (Jeez Steve has stayed behind) that racing will resume. The masses scatter like roaches to catch the festivities. The Commish take a pass and suddenly he is solo with a full pitcher.

-I grab a pool stick. I'm gonna freak that damn pool cue like no other. No one puts pool stick in the corner.

(NOTE: number of * denotes number of Slushy Gutter titles)

Opening Day 09

Rhymes get twisted, brain cells dissolve
As the world revolves, wack crews lick my balls...

SCENES FROM OPENING DAY 2009, A ROCKIES WIN:

-Three time Slushy Gutter winner T-Dub is warned by his wife to not ask anyone to "show me your tits" this year. I correct her that he never actually asked to see tits, he simply chanted "tits." She does not appreciate the clarification.

-Clarence Cricket cannot make the game, opening a spot for three time Slushy Gutter winner JL Smooth. Unfortunately, he is in a training class for work. He raises his hand and gets a bathroom pass from Mr Kotter and totally ditches out.

-First pitch is four hours off but TDub drives through LoDo like he's Jeff Gordon. Hey, there's beer to be drank.

-The word "chonska" is uttered.

-Juck decides to take a leak in the parking garage; preemptive strike.

-LoDo has morphed into a weird hybrid of Mardi Gras, a swap meet and a fashion show. People are giving out more free shit than Matthew Lesko.

-We enter the first bar, there is a mother enjoying the day with her two kids. Baseball: the great generational outing. She pounds a beer while the tykes have sippy cups. Alcohol: Mom's way of coping.

-10:41am- beer #1. Trav texts and asks why we were starting so late.

-Iron Maiden plays on the overhead. Damn, I shouldve worn my jean jacket.

-Our buddy Keith shows up and he is "pumped", he is so excited I think he may crap his pants.

-There's a guy in a old truck collecting pallets. This strikes me as odd to do in LoDo on Opening Day, maybe he will hand out the pallets with free Lays Potato Chips.

-There are about 100 Red Bull girls outside the bar. They are either aggressively marketing or planning on taking over the block with military force.

-In the bar there are scores of very attractive girls, beers flowing, baseball on TV. But what catches my attention? A little kid has the same toy with him that my daughter has. What can I say, that's where I am in life these days. Somewhere the 24 year old Commish wants to kick my ass.

-Former Donk kicker David Treadwell is there, although I think it is former Nugget Mark Randall (Treadwell= 6ft 3in, Randall= 7ft) Keith remarks he wants to "kick him in the nuts for those misses versus the Raiders.)

-You are at Opening Day: baseball, outdoors, beer, friends, cheering. You are not clubbing in a swanky martini bar. If you are wearing a fancy shirt, slacks, and sleek shoes, you are a douchebag.

-We are on the move to another bar, but that term is used loosely as the only beer they have is Corona. T-Dub remarks it tastes like "a sweat sock."

-At the bar is a large business group, complete with name tags. There are a couple of unused name tags, so me and JL decide that we will wear them. JL is now Van Kordell and the Commish is now Sean Novac of some random banking outfit. We wear them all day.

-Cole Hammels sounds like an 80s movie bad guy. Isn't he they guy who kicked Ducky's ass in Pretty In Pink?

-Dexter Fowler is called out for running out of the baseline, prompting Tangerine to get a bit heated on the umpires. It gives us a chance to get more beers.

-The Rox jump all over Hammels early. The home team is going Daniel-son on his Cobra Kai ass!

-Keith has gone missing. We scan the dugout and see him telling Ryan Howard how "pumped" he is to be there. Howard, who continues to hit into DPs, is not amused.

-Fly ball! Heading toward me...coming closer...right there...ouch! Fly balls are hard on the bare hand. Luckily, my beer is safely under my seat.

-Game over, and the Rox have an impressive win. More beers ensue. Douchebag factor in LoDo is also increasing. Drunk fan factor in LoDo is very high (present company included.)

-Over the years Ive given TDub scores of new, trendy, cutting edge, contemporary Hip Hop. I extolled the quality of scores of Golden Age releases from the Alkaholiks to Fat Joe's first CD to lesser Wu releases. Yet what are we listening to on the way home? Tone Loc Loc'd After Dark.

-I'm pretty hungry so we stop at not Taco Bell or order a pizza, maybe a burger. No, we stop at a conveinence store and I buy a fruit punch Gatorade, a spicky Slim Jim, and a bag of honey peanuts. Nutrition right there son.

Stale Coors

Events from yesterday's journey to Opening Day, an annual event in the realm of the SG:

-10am, we are the first car parked in the lot. A young Russian gal makes former two-time Slushy Gutter winner Mummy repark his car in the "second" spot. Maybe she was saving the first for Vladimir Putin.

-LoDo is bustling. They are giving away everything from energy drinks to magnets, backpacks, trail bars, free hysterectomies, gallons of rancid pickles, and WD-40.

-There are lots of liquor "girls" abound. The Jager Girls are a rough bunch, choking down heaters and jaywalking. I score some free beads from them.

-Our friend The Champ calls, he informs us some "22 year old hottie" is picking him up to take him downtown. No word if it is Ashley Olson.

-Beer #1 arrives in my mouth at about 10:30 on the roof of LoDos. Smoooooooooooooooooth.
-Beer #2 follows soon after.

-Twisted Sister comes on over the loud speaker. I knew I should've worn pink eyeliner and my shoulder pads.

-Mummy suggests we start chanting "titties, titties!" in an effort to see a flashing war.

-A girl from Shotgun Willies gives us about 10 free passes.

-Three time Slushy Gutter Winner JL Smooth and Mummy argue on the age of one female patron. JL says nearly 50, while Mummy says late 20s. Beer goggle math sets in.

-Shots arrive. The Commish never does shots. Today he does. The word is "ugly."

-Mummy comments on a girl who is "chewing her gum like a horse." After some reflection he counters himself with "I don't think horses chew gum." That's deep.

-JL Smooth points out a burly man wearing a 1993 era Hobie cat tank top, Dolphin shorts and hiking boots. Colorado Rockies baseball: the great unifier.

-Slick Rip arrives, he is wearing an Arizona hat. We are not impressed.

-Another debate, this time on the color of another female patron's eyes. Juck and Mummy say a blue, I say yellow. Yes, yellow eyes.

-We are in the bar area and spot Broz. My man Clarence Cricket has arrived too. The gang's all here, maybe we can try to drink 5000 beers or some stupid shit.

-We are walking towards Coors Field. We actually debate where the actual "slushy gutter" incident took place some 10 years ago. We cannot reach a consensus.

-I secure my first beer at the game, bastards have raised the prices a quarter. That could translate into thousands of dollars lost for the SG Crew.

-3-0 D-Backs in the first. Mark Redman is a douchebag.

-I try to go into the restroom using the exit door. I am stopped by a bearded man and some other guy; we wrestle. They have appointed themselves the guardians of the restroom exit. I am mocked by the masses.

-The D-Backs are kicking our ass all over. We have one hit. If the beers we have drank counted for runs, we would be killing them.

-I'd rather have Redman pitching.

-Todd Helton smacks a late solo homer. Too bad it wasn't one of those 'Rock and Jock' 20-point home runs.

-I hail a cab, strangely the cab looks exactly like Mrs. Commish's ride and the driver looks exactly like Mrs. Commish.

-The Rockies record stands at 1-3. 158 games remain, that's alot of quarters. Eric Byrnes is still a douchebag.

Lambs Skinned

Wicked when I kick it, yeah that's the ticket
Tossin up a forty still buzzin off the Likwit...

Spend the day with the Slushy Gutter at CU's victory over CSU Saturday:

3:40 am- The Commish awakes. It's dark, a little bit of a nippy wind whips through the air, the beers are already chillin.
3:45 am- My homeboy Uncle Buck always used to comment "ehhhhh" when it was early. I text former Two Time Slushy Gutter Winner TDub: "ehhhhhhh, early."
3:48 am- TDub texts back: " f u". Intelligent discourse there.
4:30 am- Hell, why not have a beer. I enjoy an 8 ounce smooooooooth Coors Light.
4:50 am- On the road, I hear EPMD's "Strictly Business." We are strictly business: beers, football, and tailgating.
4:55 am- I stop to get a Diet Mountain Dew and a Clif Bar. The Diamond Shamrock is closed. Ehhhh, early.
5:10 am- We're trying to load TDub's truck with an assortment of gear: coolers, grills, flag poles, EZ-Ups, chairs, and grub. I've put together jigsaw puzzles easier than this.
5:25 am- We pull up to Two Time Slushy Gutter Winner Juck's crib. He has two cases of beers and Zimas. What can we say, Juck loves him some Zima.
5:45 am- We stop at 7-11. If you've ever been to a 7-11 on a Saturday that early, you find humor in that. TDub buys another 12-pack because "you can never have enough."
6:02 am- That's what the stadium clock reads as we start unloading. Ehhhhh, early.
6:05 am- Juck: "we might as well have a beer while we're unloading."
6:20 am- The CU flag goes up the flagpole, followed by the Coors Light flag. I decide to sing "Rocky Mountain High" and the CU fight song in tribute.
6:30 am- Two groups of student are nearby. One has beer pong set up, the others have set up a dozens of Keystone Light 30 packs into a pyramid. Higher learning.
6:50 am- The grill, which looks like a Star Wars droid is cooking up bacon. Slick Rip eats a slice. He says he'll do 50 sit ups to make up for it.
7:00 am- The sun is now above the Denver skyline. Tis a privilege to live in Colorado. And get me another beer.
7:30 am- The Alkaholiks "Likwit" comes on the Sirius radio. TDub comments: "these guys are so far ahead in the game." He must not be aware the song came out in 1993.
8:00 am- Slick Rip's roommate spills bacon grease on his leg. He is unfazed and has more beer.
8:10 am- A student comes by with a hastily made t-shirt that reads Cock Sucking University. The tailgate thinks it is the greatest shirt ever. We offer the youngster a beer.
8:25 am- I'm in line at the john and sheep fans ask me if I am a trust funder (a common stereotype of Buff students.) I tell them no, but I drove my VW bus to the game and just got back from saving trees (another stereotype.) They laugh and call me a foul name. I tell them to have fun plowing their fields.
9:00 am- The sun is starting to get a bit hot. There's a nearly passed out student propped up on a tree. One hour until kickoff.
9:10am- My lovely wife is home sick, so I sell my extra ticket to a guy wearing a Tony the Tiger shirt with Japanese letters. They're grrrrreat, Konnichi wa!
9:15 am- Breaking down the tailgate. Like redoing the jigsaw puzzle.
9:30 am- We somehow have more beers than when we arrived. The beer gods shine on us.
9:45 am- Waiting in line at the cattle call ticket lines, one of Slick Rip's friends starts jawing with CSU fans. Typical insults thrown about. Rip's buddy stops the insults and simply asks the lamb fan: "you didn't have enough money to go to CU did you?" The lamb fan is not amused, a small scuffle ensues. Again, it's 9:45.
9:50 am- Sheep fans are dick-riding their RB, Kyle Bell. I'm tired of hearing it and start blurting, "damn, I don't know how we can win this game! They have freaking John Riggins at running back." A CSU student right behind me says, "damn straight we do. "
10:10 am- Finally in my seat. Cloud cover makes it quite pleasant. I've downed 10 beers since 4:30am. Juck tells me he's on 17.
10:20 am- CU scores on their first drive. Cody Hawkins looks good. He'll win the Heisman we all say.
10:40 am- CSU scores on their first drive. Defense looks bad. We probably won't win a game this year we all say.
11 am- CU scores on their second drive. Offense is on point. Sugar Bowl bound!
11:15 am- CSU scores on their second drive. Defense won't stop anyone. we probably won't ever win a game again.
Noon- Kevin Eberhart kicks a field goal to put CU up. He's from Broomfield, CO. I yell to the masses "Broomfield represent!" They don't know what it means, many shoot me disapproving grins.
12:05- I ask the crowd, "what division is this!?" The respond "Division one!" "What conference?" "The Big 12!" "Is this intramurals!?" "No!!!" except for Tdub, who can't follow along.
Halftime- I'm a freaking camel. I've drank enough water that would irrigate a small farm. CSU fans hear this and offer advice on agriculture.
3rd quarter- CSU comes out with two straight TDs. It's getting hot too. Adding up to another wasted day.
3rd quarter- CU gets a TD and 2 point conversion. 28-25 heading into the 4th quarter.
4th quarter- CSU keeps feeding the ball to Kyle Bell, errrr, John Riggins. Although it is the 70's coked up Riggins, as Bell is getting 3 yards max.
4th quarter- Broomfield's Chase McBride returns a punt into CSU territory. I yell "Broomfield represent." A few others join in with me.
late 4th- CU is in position to score, I hug Clarence Cricket for support in the tunnel. His wife wonders if we are having an affair.
end of regulation- tied. Overtime. Juck asks me how many OT games we've won. I reply "none this year."
OT- CU intercepts CSU on their possession. Eberhart comes in for winning CU field goal. This time "Broomfield represent" is being yelled by more than a few people in my section. I am their leader, although they make fun of me.
1:50- The Centennial Cup is back with us. Memo to the State of Colorado: when my fantasy football trophy is better than the Centennial Cup, it's time for a redesign.2pm- Im leaving the stadium. It is hot, I feel like a midget is squeezing my head.
2:15 pm- TDub asks the Denver police officer if he knows his uncle ( a ranking official in the DPD.) The officer replies, "yeah, and he wants you to pack up your sh*t and get out of here."
2:30- Slick Rip's roommate pukes on the asphalt. He is unfazed, he wants a beer.
3:30- Time to breakdown camp. The DPD threatens to lock us in. Again, another jigsaw puzzle.
4:00pm- The sun has officially kicked my ass today. I'll get you next time, Sun. Where's the next game? Oh, Tempe, Arizona. I'll get you after that, Sun. Sun-1 Commish-0.
4:05 pm- Juck says he will drink one beer for each CU point. I don't doubt him for a second.
4:30 pm- Im home on the couch, ice pack, cold water, midget still on head. CU is 1-0. All is good in Slushy Gutter land.