Thursday, November 13, 2008

Mummy Points


MUMMY COLORADO SPORTS:
-This Saturday brings the Buffs hosting the Okie State Cowboys up in the Republic; a 6pm national ABC telecast, which always lends to the alcohol level needle being revved up to 'full' (present company included.)

More importantly, it is The Mummy Game. For those thousands hundreds tens couple of SG readers, you know that former two time Slushy Gutter Winner TDub lost a bet to The Commish during March Madness and as the loser, he has to dress as a Mummy at a home CU game this year. How did he pick this week? As his he thrust his staff into the map of the city, complete with a Coors can on the staff of Ra, the sun shined through onto the calender and rested upon this Saturday's game. That was symbol that it this Saturday is Mummy Game. Yeah, I know, "thrust his staff."

Mummy will be introduced with the other Seniors in pregame introductions, offered a hearty handshake by Dan Hawkins, and get his first start of the year at QB. OSU coach Mike Gundy will question the Big 12 officials if playing a Mummy is legal and then remind them that, indeed, he's a man, and he's 40. I made that up, but Mummy (aka BUFFjunkie on CU fan sites) will be spending the game in section 120. Stop by and use some played-out Mummy cliche, like, "who's your Mummy?" or "do you want your Mummy?" or the always witty "Mummy dearest!"

MUMMY HIP HOP:
--Wu Tang- “Heaterz” - "Mountain men that be rich, you get buckshot, dumb be clapped, mummy wrapped and stitched."
--Def Squad - “Full Cooperation” - "You must be crazy tryin to play me, I been dedicated since King Tut the third baby." VIDEO
--Mellow Man Ace - “Hip Hop Creature” - "I rap so close around em and they end up like a mummy."
--Egyptian Lover
- "Egypt, Egypt" VIDEO
--Boogie Down Productions - “You Must Learn (Remix)” - "It's good to note, that in ancient times Egyptians developed all sciences of the mind."
--Special Ed - “Here I Go Again” - "But they got cut like King Tut, then wrapped, from a dummy to a mummy, let's see how you adapt."
--Slick Rick - “Hey Young World” - "Don't be a dumb dummy and disrespect your mummy." VIDEO
--Tha Alkaholiks f/ Xzibit - “Killin it” - "It's hard to find like the grade A shit, with no cuts,
tryin to stack like King Tut, and still bang the microphone up."
--Dr Dre - “Still DRE” - "Got it wrapped like a mummy, still ain't tripping, love to see young blacks get money." VIDEO
--Cocoa Brovaz - “Won on Won” - "Try to challenge get damaged, plain and simple, with bandages around your temple." VIDEO
--Aesop Rock - “Big Bang” - "Road side prophetic, ascend well, enveloped in a mummy ribbon system, blistering in a wishing well."
--Redman and Method Man - “How High” - "The Egyptian Musk use to have me pull mad sluts." VIDEO
--3rd Bass - “Pop Goes the Weasel” - "Why score all my points in one period, appearin in complex structure like a pyramid." VIDEO

MUMMY BEER:
-According to snooty professors and dorks who watch too much History channel, the ancient Egyptians were crazy drunks. Or more aptly put, beer was a staple of their diet. They jacked the brewing process from the Asyrians and there are Hieroglyphics of Egyptians doing keg stands, playing beer pong, and siphoning beer bongs. In fact, it was the the original B.C. SG Crew that knocked the Sphinx's nose off when on a drunken excursion. Slushy Gutter, indeed.

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7 Comments:

Anonymous TDub said...

I'm a Mummy, I'm 32!

9:37 AM  
Anonymous boulder creek tailgater said...

I'll be looking. I'll buy you all beers...oh wait no beers in Folsom

11:00 AM  
Blogger Travis said...

Mike Gundy said the Mummy was too "FAT!"

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