Clank

The Lakers closed out the Western Conference Finals last night, eliminating the Nuggets 4-2 and ending the season for your home team...

-When it all comes down to it, there is one basic goal in basketball: put the ball in the basket. It's been that way since James Naismith put up the first peach basket. We can talk all we want about triangle offenses, the officials, momentum, and every other variable, but the basic tenet remains. And the Nugs didn't do enough of it last night while the visitors did. Shooting 55 percent plus and the Nugs jacked up a horrible sub 35 in the first half won't get it done versus the Lakers in the playoffs much less versus the Thunder in January.

-The Nuggets didn't get many chances to make runs, and when they did the run was quick lived. Perhaps the final gasp and best chance was snuffed out late in the 3rd. They had "whittled" the Laker lead to 12 and had the ball with a chance to cut it deeper. An offensive foul was called on Chauncey, but yet the Nuggets forced a turnover on the other end. However, KMart went brain flatulence on pulled his best choker hold on Sasha Vujacic's foot. Rather than having the ball back with another chance to cut into the lead and finish the quarter strong, KMart has a foul and the Lakers close the quarter with four straight points. Game over.

-Is Kobe really as calculateed as we think he is? Did he bait the Nugs by passing and deferring for two game and wait until they were asleep to go on a scoring tear? Is this muthafucker Gary Fischer or a hoops player? He took the lackadasical defense the Nuggets gave and went to the hole, don't get it twisted and overanalyze.

-The energy in the building was sucked out by the 9 minute mark in the game. Get rid of the colliegiate -like "stand until we score" thing as the crowd was on their feet waiting...and waiting...and waiting during a horrendous Nugs' start. (As a CU Hoops fan, we do the stand till they score thing and weve stood until the sun came up the next day.)

-The white elephant in the room is the fact Chauncey Billups had a miserable final two games. Sloppy passes, turnovers, missed three pointers, and no pace to his game. He seemed to ease off the attack mode and linger about the 3-point line, a total 180 from teh first two series yet against inferior defenders.

-Now that the series is over, we can speak on the ABC/ESPN braodcasters? The threesome was horrible, with Van Gundy spewing words just to hear himself speak. Seriously, completely dissing Byron Beck's jersey in the rafters? Do your homework like a broadcaster and recognize the honor. Mark Jackson: I've been watching hoops for three decades and I've never heard it called a "cup." What is this The Masters? Couple the obvious pro-Laker bias and it makes for bleeding ears. Makes you appreciate Scott Hastings and Chris Marlowe and the local radio guys. Yeah, Marlowe, you got it tough this summer; going from calling the Nuggets to following the Pro volleyball circuit and chicks in bikinis.

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Oh Damn Odom

Snakebitten
Been spit in the face
But the rhymes keep fittin
Respects been givin how's ya livin? ...

The Lakers took it to the Nuggets in the 4th quarter of Game Five of the Western Conference Finals to grab a 3-2 series lead...

-Someone opened the back of Lamar Odom and switched out the batteries, as he took control of the game in the second half. It was reminiscent of the otherwise forgettable 2004 US Olympic team, in which I thought Odom and AI were the only members of Team USA selling out on the court (yeah, how's that bronze medal, Tim Duncan?) Odom had great positioning all night, not only for rebounds, but when the ball went in to Nuggets' big men, he caught them under the basket, forcing tough shots. He simply stood there, arms raised, not fouling with the Denver player pigeon-holed under the rim.

-We've completely moved past being able to rectify the inbounds pass situation in a basketball manner (practice it maybe?) So, here are some suggestions to get the ball inbounds in key situations: a)Borrow the mascot's t-shirt cannon and blast that rock in b)Simply defer the inbounds until the 2nd Half (Ref: "inbounds, Denver" KMart: "Nah, we're good") c)Just shoot the ball from the inbounds spot d)Distract the Lakers by sitting on Jack Nicholson's lap

-Catch the older dude in the multi colored leather Lakers' coat in the front row? 1991 in full effect suckers! David Puddy called and wants to replace his 8-Ball jacket with it.

-The Nuggets' top two clutch players, Melo and Chauncey, didn't help with the combined eight turnovers between them. That's more than the entire team had in the Game Four win. Chauncey had two critical TO's as the Lakers were making their move late in the third and Melo was giving the ball up while the Lakers were harassing him on each and every drive to the basket. While Melo had a game high 31 points, he hasn't quite looked the same since Ariza stole that ball at the end of Game 3 until the 4th quarter of Game 5. Part of it might be the Lakers hounding him, while part may be him trying to do too much.

-Lamar Odom wipes his mouth on his shorts. Dude, there's enough Gatorade towels at an NBA game to soak up small floods and you're bending over to wipe your mouth on your shorts.

-The Nuggets cannot rely on KMart to give the offensive game he had on Wednesday. Him shooting any further than the paint is not his game at this point in his career. Why the ball movement and open men stop when he gets the ball on the baseline is troubling in a key game. Although he was hitting the shots for the most part, no one wants those low arcing shots that more resemble a double off the centerfield wall when there are more viable options.

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Game Four All Squared

It's the verbal Herman Munster, the word enhancer,
sick of phony mobsters controllin' the dance floor
I been in dark places, catch you when you stark naked
Your heart races as we pump you for your chart spaces...

Game Four of the Western Conference Finals saw the Nuggets take it to the Lakers to even the series at two games apiece...

-Every "effort" stat was in favor of the Nugs, most noticably the rebounding, where the home team was dominant. The threesome of KMart, Birdman, and Nene (sounds like a travelling carnival act) simply outworked the Lakers in the paint. Each did what they usually are called upon to do plus more: KMart worked on the defense, even fronting Kobe at times. Bird was the usual energy guy, his block on Shannon Brown whipped the crowd into a frenzy that extended the rest of the night. Nene played his great game and added some svelte assists to open up the floor.

-Melo had stomach issues before the game and was throwing up. Damn, I shouldn't have put out that undercooked beef for him to eat. My fault, Melo.

-Dahntay Jones' trip on Kobe will probably result in some sort of foul "upgrade" from the league office, in part to Phil Jackson's whining and Kobe's sarcastic post game comments. The whole review process is taking on an NFL-like angle that is getting tiring. What's next? Red cards and yellow cards? Let the calls on the floor be the final word.

-Kudos to the server on the floor who had the ref bump into him and spill his tray of drinks. Anyone ever notice that guy looks like a mini Joakim Noah? Did you see the Slushy Gutter alums on the floor sucking up the spilled beer?

-JR Smith is like that jackass at your work who is constantly jerking around, playing pranks, talking shit, but when it comes to crunch time he delivers that crazy presentation with mad pie charts and laser pointers and a fly spread of bagels and cream cheese and the big box of fresh coffee. With Melo ailing, he took on the slashing and scoring from the perimeter. Some of his passes, shots, celebrations, and fouls made everyone cringe, but in the end his 24 points were ultimatley what got the team the win.

-The series is getting more and more physical and the Nuggets' seem to be hitting their muscle stride in Game Four. The bench specifically outmuscled their LAL counterparts. Linas Kleiza got deep for a few rugged boards and Anthony Carter isn't afraid to use his fouls in a rought and tumble variety.

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Inbound Inability

The Lakers took a 2-1 series lead over the Nuggets after their game three win in the Western Conference Finals...

I judge wisely, as if nothin ever surprise me
Loungin, between two pillars of ivory...

-We all lamented the Game One inability to do a simple basketball play of throwing the ball inbounds. One of the biggest cries was why was Anthony Carter throwing the ball in when KMart is your best inbound player. We got our chance in Game Three and the result was the same: a hastily thrown pass that was picked off by Trevor Ariza. KMart's pass was actually worse than AC's; it more resembled a Jorge DeLaRosa hanging curve rather than an inbounds. We can go over the play(s) 1000 times: don't telegraph your pass, fake a throw, throw it into the backcourt, call (another) timeout. But the bottom line is these guys are professional basketball players, the coaches coach basketball for a living. An inbounds pass is one of the most basic things in the game if executed properly (see: James, LeBron receive an inbounds and score with one second).

-George Karl used a stellar non-existant word in his post game conference: "teamness". Try that in your next big meeting with your boss.

-The team picked a bad night to have their worse 3 point night of the year. Many of the looks they were getting were open and the clanks were filling the Pepsi Center. JR Smith, Chauncey, and Melo weren't do any favors for the home team score with some of those heaves. Especially frustrating was Melo's attempts, because those possesions would be better served with him driving and trying to create or drawing a foul. Way too many transtition threes for Chauncey and JR. Yes, if they fall they are huge crowd igniters and momentum starters, but when they miss, they don't do any good when the Lakers sprint back the other way and set up in the halfcourt.

-The look in Melo's face and body language after he fouled out was the eeriest look and feeling I've seen on him in his Denver years. Was it anger, doubt, bewilderment, "someone's gonna pay", heartbreak, or was he pondering if that guy really should've won American Idol?

-One of the few 3s made was by JR on one of his patented circus shots at the 3rd Quarter buzzer, giving the Nugs an eight point lead. However, he went Brandon Marshall after the shot and said some unkind things to get T'ed up. Trash talk? Must've been more like toxic waste talk to get the technical in that situation. AC's attempt to play Brandon Stokely was too late, as whatever JR said to rugged enough to deserve a T over the crowd noise. In effect, that was the beginning of a horrid 0-9 start on offense to start the 4th while the Lakers made their move.

-The Lakers had a 28-11 FT advantage in the 2nd half, the refs seemingly not calling the game consistent on both ends (witness Birdman's dunk attempt in the 4th where he was hacked from every angle and no call). However the Lakers were selling the fouls, flopping and playing to the Nuggets' contact. Luke Walton may have had the biggest when Melo hooked him on a drive and Walton flew to the ground resulting in Melo's 5th PF and a changed defensive and perhaps a more cautious offensive Melo.

-Yeah, and that #24 guy in purple was pretty good. The "Kobe sucks" chants from the crowd probably didn't rattle that dude. I just some idiot blogger who knows a little hoops, but I can unequivocally say that he doesn't suck.

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Staples Removers

I hear a beat I grab the mic, and then I start this workin
The kids around the way used to think that I was buggin...

The Nuggets came back from an early deficit to even the Western Conference Finals at one game apiece after a 106-103 victory...

-All those douchebags who said Linas Kleiza after Game One should be eating a big bowl of Lithuanian stew this morning, as he came through with a game saving performance. The Nugs were on the verge of what looked like a blowout when he entered the game and it became a complete turnaround. LK wasn't only knocking down treys, he was barely moving the cords with smooth shots and fluid play. Add in eight rebounds and deft ball movement and LK is your hero, playing the most complete game by a bench player perhaps of the playoffs.

-Dahntay Jones just sat down in his airplane seat and when he leaned his seat back he was whistled for a foul.

-Old schoolers knew the history when Chauncey bounced that ball off Kobe Bryant at the end of the half to score an easy two, as he did the same thing in the state championship game in 1994. Albeit then he soared and dunked the ball home with a sweet fade back then. And he did it versus some dude who's probably selling insurance now rather than versus Kobe Bryant. Maybe Kobe should seek that dude out and they can find a bond.

-George Karl shortened his bench even more going into Game Two, as Anthony Carter played a mere six minutes. After his Game One throwaway, this might be good move to just settle him down. Karl rode the starters more than usual, as Melo was completely gassed at game's end. His pair of two guards having seven fouls between them forced his hand into playing extended minutes.

-Melo is finding his groove guarding Kobe Bryant, fronting him, bumping him and keeping up with terrific footwork. Kobe almost looks a bit cautious about driving into the lane versus Melo, giving up the major weight to him. Witness the last few minutes of the game when Kobe didn't venture much into the paint.

-Birdman, Nene, and KMart didn't light up the boxscore, but the little things they did counted to the win. Nene had the key play of the game, stealing the ball off a jump ball at the Lakers' end within the last minute. KMart's offense is what kept the Nuggets' remotely close in the first quarter, and this is all with a broken finger.

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How to Rob

My life story I tell straight from the heart
When suckers tried to crash my shit straight from start...


The Nuggets suffered a gut-wrenching loss in game one of the Western Conference Finals last night in Los Angeles:

-The lowlight of the game had to be the inbound pass that was picked off by Trevor Ariza late in game. The play was especially troubling on so many levels.

One, why was AC in the game at that point? Down by two with 20 seconds is AC any sort of offensive option? If he gets the ball in it is basically four on five, because they will sag off him knowing he will not take the shot.

AC, you are a point guard on an inbounds pass, not Tom Brady throwing to Randy Moss in the corner of the endzone. Fire the rock into Chauncey, maybe a bounce pass. There was more air under than your grandfather after a plate of beans.

Finally, why take so long to foul after the turnover, letting the Lakers get the ball to Kobe Bryant. Foul Ariza, foul Derek Fischer. Ten full seconds elapsed before the foul was committed and then Kobe gets to the line, sealing the game. A four point lead with 10 seconds is nearly impossible, a four point lead with 20 seconds give some glimmer.

-Conspiracy theorists can have a field day with the last few minutes of the game. Nuggets are cruising to an extent, then the calls start to turn. Kobe has six free throw attempts in the final 30 seconds. Chris Anderson dives for a ball on the ground and appears to signal timeout, and Lamar Odom wraps him up for a jump ball. Earlier in the Dallas series, Melo did the same thing and was whistled for a foul. The ensuing jump ball looks like Odom stole the tip. KMart gets whistled for a ticky tack foul late when he pokes a ball away from Kobe. Bigfoot is roaming the corridors. UFOs spotted in Jack Nicholson's parking spot.

-Basketball theorists can have a field day pointing to the 12 missed free throws and dominance of LA on the offensive glass (17 to 7). Even Chauncey missed three free throws. Maybe he was distracted by Bigfoot.

-Melo was a straight beast in every aspect. When he checked Kobe it was physical, lots of pokes and arm movement. Even Kobe acknowledged the weight discrepancy between the two. He outmuscled him under the glass and save the technical he got, kept his cool a hell of alot more than Kobe. On the flip side, Dahntay Jones has no shot versus Kobe on an extended basis and the Lakers recognize it, posting Kobe up on him each time.

-Why Linas Kleiza got the minutes he got is strange. JR Smith needs Linas' time being that JR is more of a player who needs to find his groove in the game to get going. JR should've been on the court in the 4th instead of AC, when the Nuggets should've pushed the lead rather than try to protect it.

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Roy to the Rescue?

Verbal attack is actual fact

Tactical tracks match perfectly with graphical stats
Half a you lack the magical dap of tragical rap...

Word is leaking out that the nearly idolized Patrick Roy has been offered to the Colorado Avalanche head coaching spot. Probably a few problems with that job offer, the main one being that the Avs’ have a head coach right now, but hey, who pays attention to details across the hall from the NBA’s Western Conference finalists?

If any attention was paid over the last few seasons, they’d see mismanaged contracts that have put the local hockey club in a significant hole to dig (ice pick?) their way out.

Now President and chief French-Canadian in charge wants his former fiery goalie to get the team playing the right way on the ice. Ah yes, hiring a former goalie when the team was dead last in offense. Again, just details, oui?

Perhaps piping in some fellow Francophone Celine Dion to the practice rink will lead to more goals. The soothing sounds of Celine always loosen me up. “All by Myself” as in by yourself in last place.

Roy would come in, yell a bunch of crap in French, whine about some shit, probably start a few brawls, perhaps skate on the ice to score that elusive NHL goal he never got. A couple tickets might be sold so you can watch a guy with a rolled up piece of paper stand behind dudes with skates. Exciting!

Maybe he can bring in Jeremy Roenick to fire up the squad, since the two of them exchange holiday bundt cakes. Chris Osgood is still goalie in Detroit, he could fight him, suit guy versus full goalie guy. Patty rolling behind the bench with the blood dripping down his face, all mad faced.

Point is, Roy has about as much business being coach as the next hot NHL coaching candidate. And since when do former stars coming back to coach in Denver ever worked(see: Hanzlik, Bill.)

Is St Patty even interested in the job that isn’t even open? One look at the roster, the salaries, and the putrid stats and he would probably pass it quicker than tossing doors off their hinges.

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Seriously Golden

When taking away what little time that I got
The mind view in energy oxen I pick the combination spot
When in 1985 they injected me with props...

The Nuggets vanquished the Mavericks in Game Five and advanced to the Western Conference Finals for the first time since 1985...

-Like a QB in college football, or a goalie in hockey, or a hot pitcher in the MLB, in the NBA, you can have all the "role" players on a team you need, but in the end you need superstars. Last night, the Nugs' superstar Carmelo Anthony embodied the word, even if the rest of the hoops' world doesn't recognize. Drives to the hoop, switching shots in the air, fall away jumpers, rebounds and finding the open man when doubled, Melo came up with a signature game in this series. His 3-pointer with 2 seconds on the shot clock at the six minute mark was defacto series clincher. Superstar 1A was obviously Chauncey Billups. Want to see his philosophy of sharing the rock outside of the 12 assists? He's driving to the hoop in the first half, damn well could've dunked it, and he still passes it to KMart, who is fouled and makes one of two.

-Play by play guy when describing Chauncey: "Had his choice of all the big time programs. Chose instead to got to the University of Colorado in Boulder." What? CU isn't a "big time" program? Come on, we've been to one, count em...one NCAA tourney in 35 years when a player than other Chauncey has been on the team! And we stock the NBA with players, there's a grand total of one. CU and Hoops Power are synonymous.

-Owner Stanley Kroenke's suit? A) Marcus Camby left a bunch of suits in his locker when he was traded. B) He is joining the Brian Setzer Orchestra. C) Walmart's new Tommy Gun 1939 line?

-Outside of use of timeouts, George Karl got the checkmate on Rick Carrey Carlisle throughout the game and the entire series. Karl's substitutions were part hunch-based, part-need, and thouroughly calculated. Carlisle seemed to be throwing darts to try to get the right personnel on the floor. Jason Kidd had a horrible first half last night, yet Carlisle kept Jose Barea on the bench depsite his productive Game Four. Karl limited Birdman's minutes last night after his first half minutes didn't amount to much more than a few fouls and pretty much rode his vets the enitre second half. Carlisle on the other hand had young hothead Antoine Wright on the floor late in the game.

-Three time Slushy Gutter winner Van Kordell texted me and asked if Super Dave Osborne was calling the game.

-Big ups to TNT for some of the old school looks and references. The Nuggets navy blue crayola away jersies, Mike Evans curl, Zang's Brewery, Doug Moe, and does Bill Hanzlik ever age?

-Kenyon Martin dunk alley oop from JR Smith with a minute to go? Ooops I think I crapped my pants.

-Long break or keep playing- what is the better option for this team? The 2007 Rockies might have an opinion. However, basketball isn't as tied to timing and rhythm like a MLB batter or pitching staff. The players will welcome the rest and most likely have a few tough practices facing them. Fortunately, there are no injuries, but Melo did look a bit bruised last night in the leg last night and at one point appeared to be holding his, umm, "Lil Melo" (reminds me of the not-classic film Johnny B Good, where Anthony Michael Hall tells his coach "I broke my dick coach.) And someting might not be right with Birdman. The Nugs may go into NHL injury report mode, but his last three games have been far short of earlier in the postseason.

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Game Four Played

I've been known to instill fear
although the world may be round,
we still trapped in the square...

The Nuggets faced a hostile crowd and a desperate Mavs team and come back to Denver after a two point loss...

-The Nugs’ ball movement would’ve made your high school coach giz in his pants on a few occasions. More than once the ball never hit the floor on easy baskets. Rebound, outlet, long pass, score it. Dahntay Jones had a pass to Melo for an easy hoop that will have Donk fans’ clamoring for him to suit up this Fall.

-Chris Anderson was out with “stomach issues.” Damn, I knew I shouldn’t have left that potato salad in the sun out in the Nugs’ locker room. My fault, Bird.

-The Nugs’ overall defense in the second half took the night off as the Mavs erased the deficit en route to 66 points. Part of it could’ve been the absence of Birdman, or the foul trouble of K-Mart throughout most of the 3rd quarter. The Nugs’ guards allowed their Mav counterparts to get too deep into the paint, creating clearouts of the lane and leading to way too many easy layups. JJ Barea especially was able to deftly move into the low block and score over the Nene on a few trips. Anthony Carter had a particularly off night, as Barea made him look like he was in mud, just blowing by him.

-The Nugs’ missed too many free throws, but on the flip side they had many a chance to make up for them with the Mavs’ boneheaded flagrant fouls and technicals. An absolute gift at the end of the first half with three free throws awarded to Denver to pad their lead.

-Linas Kleiza got some key minutes with Birdman out and performed admirably. He actually checked Dirk pretty well when called on, channeling some old Euro “I will not stand for this German aggression” type ish. But as the game wore on, why not give Johan Petro a few minutes and a few fouls? Better yet, Renaldo Balkman is an energy guy who can basically do the same thing as Kleiza. That would’ve freed up Kmart to be in during the key moments in the 3rd and 4th.

-Nene has played down to his level of competition the past two games, and Eric Dampier is playing about as down as anyone in the series. He’s getting great looks, but just clanking and completely bricking layups and one to three footers. To boot, he isn’t getting it done at the line either. Work on the footwork and pump fakes and get the defender in the air and throw it down big man!

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Mr Melo, Mr Clutch

So bad, stabbin up the pad with the vocab, crab
I scream on ya ass like your dad...

The Nuggets went into Dallas and came up with a dramatic last second win to get a 3-0 series lead:

-Predictably, the talk of the game was of the intentional foul that was or wasn't. A couple things about that sequence: first, the play was directly in front of the Mavs' bench. Dallas has more assistants than the Cowboys, plus seven plus players within three feet of Carmelo and Antoine Wright. Why weren't any of them in the refs' ear the whole play? Yelling "foul!" Reacting with flailing arms and Earl Weaver-esque antices? And when the "foul" was committed, not a one of them were pointing, yelling at the ref? Rick Carrey Carlisle probably could've told the ref before the play, "we're going to foul him with our foul to give." Then the ref would've been more prone to watch and call the infraction.

Second, Wright should've legit fouled the guy. Not some namby play at the ball, but just wrap him up with a bear hug. You see it all the time when teams are looking to stop the clock, and they never veer into flagrant territory.

-The refs set the tone early, perhaps due to tiring of hearing of how physical the series was, by calling fouls for the tiniest hacks. The Nugs entered into the bonus and foul trouble early. George Karl was forced to go against his rotation and sit the energy guy Birdman (who was stellar in his first five minute stint) and bring in some pine riders. Linas Kleiza's game was a big zero in the box score, but he was pure hustle and defense the whole 13 minutes he played. Witness his three assists and extra passes he made to set up assists. Even Johan Petro had a workable two minutes late in the first half to ensure none of the big men picked up another foul.

-The NBA issuing a statement after the game acknowledging a foul should've been called was horsebleep. What about the scores of other non-calls and calls in the game? Should there be a statement for each one of those? Check Josh Howard scooping up a ball on the ground in the last two minutes. Howard is on the ground and Melo also grabs the ball and is whistled for a foul. How do you foul someone on the ground? Is there a statement that Jason Kidd should be called for an offensive hooking foul each time he backs Chauncey into the lane? Leagues shouldn't issue statements in judgement situations, it wreaks of caving into media and fan panic.

-K-Mart's defense on Dirk's last shot was textbook. Held his ground and didn't allow him past the free throw line. Was active with his hands and didn't allow any hand checking by Dirk. When he shot it (too early on the clock as well) K-Mart leaned into Dirk without contact and still got a hand into his face.

-Storm the court like a soccer team after the game? Act like you've had a call go against you before Mavericks. Josh Howard looked like a six year old out there, and his owner was in the same vein. Pushing a cameraman ala Kenny Rogers (pitcher, not Gambler) and getting into it with K-Mart's mother won't get you back on Dancing With The Stars.

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Firing The Points

I'm devastating I'm so good it's a shame
Cause I eat rappers like a cannibal they call me insane...

CO SPORTS: The NL West just got alot more interesting with Manny Ramirez's suspension, but also with the D-Backs firing their manager after a less-than-stellar start. Hmm, a manager who is stuck at the bottom of the division, who just two years ago had his team deep in the playoffs, is blessed with young talent, but has stumbled since then is fired? Accountability: alive and well in the desert, but missing at a mile high.

HIP HOP: Coming in just after 4-20, the Super Chron Flight Brothers' second album Indonesia veers a bit off from where their stellar 07 joint Emergency Powers left us. Indonesia features Billy Woods and Privledge rapping over mellower, drawn out beats, many in the Cool Kids or El-P mode or sound. Most of the the CD was crafted by Backwoodz Studio affiliate Marmaduke. Lyrically, the MCs hit on everything from Cannondale bikes, top ramen, Gregg Popovich's face (they're rougher than it), and a slew of sex rhymes ("she polished the wood, now she got termites.") One curious track is "SubPop" whichs incorporates the old Smiths' track "How Soon is Now." The folks over at Backwoodz are offering the entire disc for FREE...check it.

BEER: The Mothership has been pimping their latest innovation during the NBA Playoffs: the cold activated Coors Light can. When the moutnains turn blue, your smoooooooooth CL is ready to be consumed. Coors marketing suits must think that the masses have the inability to feel aluminum and judge whether it is cold or not. What the hell does The Commish care though? They could put a hologram of a dancing Richard Simmons screaming "brrrrrrr" on the can and I'm still gonna drink that ish.

Fourth Quarter de Mayo

They wanna know how many rhymes have I ripped and reppped,

but researchers never found all the pieces yet...

The Nuggets used another 4th quarter outburst to stifle the Mavs and take a 2-0 series lead...

-The focus has been on who of the Nugs' three big men can guard Dirk Nowitzki most effectively, but the real talk should be which of the Mavs' bigs can get a handle on Nene. The Nugs' big man again had a big night, leading the team in scoring and muscling his way in the middle. After two games it is obvious that Eric Dampier can't check him and Dirk practically looks hopeless on 'D' versus him. So the answer is probably none of them will be able to reel Nene in, so expect doubles and Nene to have to spot open cutters and perimeter players.

-Carmelo Anthony had stomach cramps that he believed hampered him. Guess that Cinco De Mayo nacho plate I sent to him for lunch wasn't such a good idea. My bad, Melo.

-Rick Carlisle pulled out all the stops in the game, and early on they seemed to temper the Nugs a bit. Putting the more athletic and bigger Antoine Wright in the stareting five gave them a toughness. Most noticable was his use of timeouts; he would call them after the smallest inkling the Nugs were about to go on a run and/or the crowd was being energized.

-JR Smith had his best defensive game of the year. He was extremely active in deflecting passes and sticking his mitt into the ball handlers' dribble. Not only did it force the Mavs to waste shot clock time in setting up their plays, it helped deny entry passes in the block to Dirk.

-Rick Carlisle...Jim Carrey's older brother. Kind of a Frank Stallone or Jim Belushi to his more famous bro? No? Just squint your eyes.

-Thanks to the network schedules, there's a four day gap before the next game. On the surface it would seem like this would be a huge advantage for the Mavs, they being older, Josh Howard and Eric Dampier's bum ankles, and just to regroup. But, the Nugs also have some work to do and two full days of practice will be key. The team still looks lost on some defensive switches in which a guard will end up on a big man. Also, set plays and end of quarter/half plays could use some looks, as evident by JR's brain fart/six point swing at the end of the half. And some good time for Melo to drain his system with some extended toliet time.

RELATED: The Fab 5 - "Leflaur Leflah Eshkoshka" - "Folks is passed now, petrol, go get dough, Pepto-Bismol..."

Mind That Bird

I'm takin rappers to a new plateau, through rap slow

My rhymin is a vitamin, held without a capsule...

The Commish was in attendance yesterday as the Nuggets used a 2nd Half flourish to gain a 1-0 series lead on the Mavericks:

-There was a Nene sighting, and it was quite a look. The Nugs' center wore out his Dallas counterpart Eric Dampier, beating him down the court, showing an array of nifty jukes and spins down low, and using a power game in dunking and muscling for boards. Nene is still a type of player who's confidence grows as the game goes on and he hits shots, and yesterday was a prime example.

-Dirk Nowitzki will get his every game, 25 plus points. However, he must have pictures of every ref in bed with a German hooker, as he gets away with more than anyone not named Tim Duncan. Yes, the fouls were tilted in the favor of the Nugs (perhaps something to do with a jump shooting team versus the Denver slashers?) but Dirk would get away with pushes and especially extra steps.

-John Elway was there doing the intro of Chauncey Billups. The rest of the country must think there is a cloned army of John Elways because everytime something major happens in CO, there is old Johnny.

-With Chauncey having a quiet game and Melo not getting on track until the fourth quarter, the reserves again had a chance to shine. Anthony Carter put in a A+ blue collar effort, playing great defense and getting in deep in the paint to get some rebounds and score. His jump shot was falling as the Mavs left him open by 2-3 feet each possession. It was Birdman who was again the heart of the team, immediately tilting the entire defensive outlook of the game and shifting the Mavs thinking. Switching him and K-Mart (who we knew would get rough with him, and he damn near knocked him into the first row), and even Melo, on guarding Dirk made sure the Mavs didn't know what was coming. Bird more than held his own on the Mavs' star, and his 6 blocks were key in ingniting breaks and the crowd.

-Mike Tirico was calling the game on ABC and I still have no love for that dude. 2005 CU v Nebraska game when the entire CU student was ejected, ABC sent their sideline reporter to the section and Tirico emplored her on the air to "get out of there" like it was war torn Kosovo. He ignored me when I reminded him of it.

-It is cliche to say a crowd was electric, but the crowd was shockingly electric. The Melo's Yellows section in the nose bleeds were like a soccer fan club, standing the whole time. Tons of current Nugs' gear, and an inpressive number of Nuggets' throwbacks. Tons of booing of the refs and Mark Cuban. When AC hit JR Smith who went behind the back to Melo for a dunk with 6 minutes left I think beer squirted out my nose.

RELATED: Jeru Da Damaja- "Come Clean" - "Real rough and rugged, shine like a gold nugget"

More SG TV

Tired of all the ass shaking, club drankin, money tossing, "what they hell is that dude saying?" on your mainstream rap video music channel? We all are. Stop huffing an puffing and rolling your eyes and check out these SG approved morsels of real Hip Hop:

Benneton- Kurious, MC Serch, and DOOM- Yes, it looks like it was shot by the local high school AV club, but Serch pushed away from VH1 long enough to hook up with Kurious Jorge and Zev Love X on this banger. Been a long time since "Walk Like a Duck" and a few pounds since "The Gas Face." As is his MO, DOOM comes correct on the final verse.

Junk Science- Fire Drill- The Nuk Fam is back with an even lower budget video from their upcoming new album. The fish eye camera had it's heyday, but DJ Snafu and Baje One pull it off all artsy-like. According to the notes, they spent no scratch and never left their apartment on this joint.

Sahtyre- J O B- This MC is part of a Los Angeles-based crew called Swin Team and this joint is one of the highlights of the album High Saht. The fam's whole vibe reminds me of some Hiero or Freestyle Fellowship from the Cali of the mid 90s. Hip Hop 2009's version of "Take This Job and Shove It." No royalties for Johnny Paycheck though.

Raekwon f/ Ghostface Killah and Method Man- New Wu- Alot of the Hip Hop realm heard this a while back as "Wu Ooh" but who really cares, because it still bangs. I usually dread "part two" albums that almost beg to recapture a previous classic, but if Only Built For Cuban Links 2 features as many tracks like this, watch out.

Rapper Big Pooh- The Comeback- Well shit, this video does feature ass shaking and throwing money, but we'll give it a pass. With a hook lifted from the seminal Busta "Scenario" verse, peep half of Little Brother's on point lyrics and a nice beat thrown down by Khrysis. Check for the entire album, errr mixtape, or whatever he's calling it, Delightful Bars.