The Jazz Wringer

Back and forth just like a Cameo song
If you dig this joint then please come dance along
To the music cuz it's done just for the rhyme
Now I gotta scat and get mine...underline...

Quick hitters from last night's Nuggets opening night loss to the Utah Jazz:

-Apparently the refs didn't use the pre-season to sharpen their skills, as two calls inside the minute mark went horribly against the Nugs. Kenyon Martin forced Carlos Boozer to lose control of the ball, yet a foul was called. And even worse was a missed FT by Kyle Korver with 12 seconds in which a ticky tack lane violation was called on Chris Anderson. Replays showed Anderson merely stepped into the lane with one foot, yet got back in time. Need less to say, an NBA has to know better than to call that in that situation.

-With the addition of Anderson and Renaldo Balkman, the NUgs look more and more like a rap video cast. There's more ink and freaky hairdoes than a tattoo convention. The worst new addition has to be the red kiss mark tat on Martin's neck.

-Linas Kleiza has to move quicker and also bang harder with his man. 1 for 8 shooting won't cut it either on most nights in this conference.

-Balkman brings a great defensive presence to this team. Ideally he wil be able to sub in for 14-18 minutes rather than the seven he played versus the Jazz.

-George Karl didn't waste any time in proclaiming Martin to be a "changed man" and "leader" on the team. Forgive, us, but it seems like we've been hearing that for five years now. However, when he was whistled for the questionable foul late in the game, Martin calmly went to the line and could be seen merely discussing the call with the ref in a civil manner. Old Martin would've punted the ball into the stands and called the ref a "son of a whore."

-I've been watching games in Utah for more than 20 years, and I don't hink I've ever seen a fan with a beer.

-Much like last year, I kept asking myself "there had to be someone better at the point out there than Anthony Carter." Yet Carter was servicable versus the Deron Wiliams-less Jazz. He played very well in spurts, but had a 1-2 minute stretch late which he coughed up the ball a few times and gave nothing on the offensive end. Getting a healthy Chukcy Atkins back will be key for this team.

RELATED: Ultramagnetic MC's - "Raise It Up" - "And I want some... old hot jazz biscuits"

No Wisdom for Melo

I pull women like a wisdom tooth
Without any conversation with Doctor Ruth...

It's Nugget's Eve here in CO, and the team's best player is sitting the season's first two games out as a result of the Ayatollah Stern suspending him. Rather than travel with the squad and try to get a feel for his new teammates, Carmelo will stay home in Denver and have a wisdom tooth removed. You know those two months between the Olympics and training camp just wouldn't work for minor dental procedures. Or the all-too-common late April end of the season? Maybe Melo's dentist was on vacation.

Wisdom tooth, not teeth. What happenned to the other three? Leave it to a Nugget to not be able to do anything in fours.

Melo can also plan on losing a few pounds from the procedure, which maybe a good thing. Maybe he should've had a few teeth removed in prior years and he'd be a slim, svelte, scoring machine. Teeth just slow you down anyway.

As someone who had wisdom teeth removed as an adult, it is is not a fun experience. The days of elementary school/junior high when your buddy got to stay home and eat ice cream are replaced by agonizing pain, wooziness, and a high only anti-pain drungs can provide. Then again, that's the way Nuggets fans have felt at the end of the last few years.

RELATED: Craig Mack - "Flava in ya Ear (remix)" - "I smash teeth, f*ck your beef, no relief, I step on stage girls scream like I'm Keith."

Shut Em Down

But I don't party and shake my butt
I leave that to the brothers with the funny haircuts...

PROPS and DROPS from the Buffs' loss to the Missouri Tigers and the Broncos' bye week:

DROPS: The opening kickoff to the last play of the game. Pretty simple, there was not one positive the Buffs could take away from this game. The opening kickoff went back to near midfield by the Tigers and a few plays later Chase Daniel and company had a 7-0 lead. Perfect place for the freshman QB Tyler Hansen to fumble his first snap, promptly go three and out and watch the Buff punter fumble the snap. Sound like a horror script for Buff fans? Halloween a week early. 14-0 Tigers after the fumble as the Tiger RB literally scored without being touched. Game over from there with 3 1/2 quarters left. No rhythm, no downfield passes, no blocking, nothing on offense. No tackling, no pass coverage (Jeremy Maclin, guys, he's pretty good, maybe you should cover him), and absolutley no pass rush. Chase Daniel was flat footed on a half his drop backs and passed all over the field like a 7 on 7 drill.

PROPS: As putrid as the Donks have looked in the past two weeks, the playoffs are right there for them. San Diego just does not want to get it together and the Raiders and Cheifs are, well, the Raiders and Chiefs (all the more reason that KC loss stings.) If the Broncos can go 8-8, there's a good chance they can win the division and get their asses beat in the first round try to capture some momentum in the postseason.

PROP or DROP: The Buffs 242 game scoring streak came to an end with the shutout versus the Tigers. The only teams with a longer current streak are Michigan and Florida. While the loss of the streak stings, Buff fans are split over how it ended. CU did have the ball in FG range on two occasions in the 2nd half; the first time Dan Hawkins elected to go for it on 4th and 3 from inside the 20 down by 30+ points. The second was late in the game when the play clock was ran off a little too fast by the Mizzou operator standing the Buffs at the 11.

Should the Buffs have kicked a FG to extend the streak? On one hand, it is pretty good company to be mentioned with Florida and Michigan with the nation's longest streaks. No one outside of Buff fans are going to know that they kicked a meaningless FG to extend the streak. Some say they owe it to the players and staffs from the last 20 year that worked so hard to get the streak to keep it going. On the flip side, what type of message is it sending to the current team and supporters to kick a weak-ass FG as opposed to competing and trying to get a TD? And owe it to who? The team members who scored a FG in a 70-3 loss to Texas in 05? The pretty good 92 team who managed a TD versus Nebraska in 92? Either way, it's a dicey question.

Rocky Mountain Oystered

You've heard crass football fans scream "put his dick in the dirt!" Usually, it's your mom at your Pop Warner game. This Kansas State defender takes it too literally as he tries to break punt returner Josh Smith's package in half and leave it in the Folsom dirt. Good thing Josh Smith is known as 'Uncle Josh' because he may not be 'Daddy Josh' anytime soon after this past weekend.

Ode to Zima

You trippin, must be that Zima you was sippin
Yo' accountant couldn't count how many bottles I be grippin...

The Slushy Gutter tribute to Zima, which will be discontinued by the Mothership after 15 years of production.

-Commish's first Zima experience: It was Fall of 1994 and I was at a party at the Spanish Towers in Boulder. The party was getting into the wee morning hours; keg dead, liquor stores closed, not a beer in sight. In the fridge was a six pack of Zima that belonged to the big haired girlfriend of the party's host. Hell, why not? What hit my mouth tasted like some concoction of rancid mouthwash mixed with hairspray and kitty litter. Not only was that my first Zima experience, but my last.

-Tha Alkaholiks reference Zima in their 1995 hit "Daaam" with the line the liquidator with the hardcore demanor / bustin out the perpetrators I see through em like a Zima. VIDEO

-In late 1999 and 2000 an email forward started making its way around the 'net about a couple of drunk Texas fans on the Saturday of the 99 Big 12 Championship (check the entire thing here). In it, throughout a boozy day and night, the story's author tells of his first Zima experience:

7:12 We have stopped for gas. I am hungry. I go inside the store. I walk past the beer frig. I notice a Zima. I've never had a Zima. I wonder if it's any good. I pull a Zima from the frig. I twist the top off and drink the Zima in three swallows. Zima sucks. I replace the empty bottle in the frig.

-Last year, in the second Slushy Gutter Summer Mission, current Slushy Gutter winner Juck tried to count Tangerine Zima onto his tally. When he was denied and admonished by his fellow SGers, he argued that Zima is in fact a type a beer, while most Mexican beers the SGers were imbibing were not. Fuzzy math? Or words of wisdom?

-A few years back, The Commish and Mrs. Commish toured the Mothership and was asked by the tour guide to name the eight (or so) brews that were crafted there. The large tour group came up with all, except one. The silence was deafening, until yours truly belted out the final piece: "Zima!" I beemed with pride as the tourists shot menacing glares in my direction.

Have a ZIMA story or info nugget from the past? Share in the COMMENTS section.

Swift Foot Switch Up

Suckers, ducks, ho-hum emcees
You can't rock the kids, so go cut some cheese
Take this application of rhymes like these
My rap's red hot, 110 degrees...

PROPS and DROPS from Saturday's Buff win over the Wildcats and MNF's Bronco debacle against the Pats:

PROPS: There was a bit of a buzz on the message boards and at the tailgates that something different may happen in the Buffs’ game. No, Kordell Stewart didn’t get an extra year of eligibility, but rather the redshirt was ripped off frosh QB Tyler Hansen. The kid responded with 80+ yards rushing, making plays with his legs that seemed to confound the K-State defense. Throw in a perfect 21 yard TD strike that might’ve been the year’s best pass and that was a pretty good coming out party for a QB who’s only other D1 offer was from Idaho State. The Buff coaches knew that they had to mix something up on offense, and this was the perfect elixir.

DROPS: There isn’t really anyplace to start with the Donk defense, because it was simply horrendous across the board. A New England attack that wasn’t exactly up to last year’s machine came in like the mid-40’s Army teams and ran the ball to the tune of 250+ yards. Worst yet, it was by three no name backs (seriously, if Kevin Faulk isn’t on the Waivers in your fantasy league, you play with football Forest Gumps). Once the running tone was set, the play actions came into effect and Matt “Brady’s Sloppy Seconds” Cassell found Moss and Welker and even Sully from Worchester for big gains.

DROPS: Exactly. Andre Hall, two carries, two fumbles. Jay Cutler terrible interceptions. Five turnovers in all and that doesn’t lend itself to winning an NFL football game. Even some drunk blogger can deduce that. The offense didn’t do itself any favors with the sloppy play, constantly playing from behind. Throw in penalties usually reserved for a high school team and injuries (Cutler’s pinky is worse than they let on; and Daniel Graham we love you, but Tony Scheffler and perhaps even Nate Jackson are blowing your doors off right now; even Selvin Young could’ve minimized the damage) and you have the the debacle that was Monday.

PROPS: It may not reflect it in the stats, but the CU defense played their finest game of the year. Save for a 3rd quarter TD run, NFL prospect QB Josh Freeman and the ground game was held in check. Safety Ryan Walters was seemingly in on every play, as he also broke up the game’s final play. The defensive front was in Freeman’s grill on most plays, forcing him to cut off half of the field while he scrambled. At linebacker, the entire unit played well, Brad Jones was bringing the heat on blitzes, but the standout may have been BJ Beatty. The Hawaiian was flying all over the field as he looks recovered from an early injury.

PROPS: The old tired cliché of a welcome BYE week has never been so true for the Broncos. And if you are a member of the team and are still planning on that Vegas/tropical excursion, cancel it. The theme should be healing and learning and tweaking for the club, especially the defense.

DROPS: While the offense did what it had to and the defense was superb, the third phase of special teams was absolutely putrid. Kicker Aric Goodman had one kick blocked and missed another, the punt return team gave up an easy fake punt, and Josh Smith and the return team never broke a big run. Two things should happen: one, open up the placekicker competition. Goodman isn’t getting it done and kickoff specialist Jameson Davis is booming his kicks through the end zone. See what the Davis kid can do on placekicking. Second, more starters are needed on all phases of special teams. Get your best and headiest players out there to maximize your chances. Don’t think Josh Smith would rather see a starting WR or TE blocking for him instead of a scout teamer?

Fumblin and Bumblin

I been had skills, Cristal spills
Hide bills in Brazil, about a mill' to ice grill
Make it hard to figure me, liquor be, kickin me
in my asshole… undercover, Donnie Brasco...

At his presser yesterday, uber-receiver Brandon Marshall was toting a football throughout the entire proceedings. The reason? Since he fumbled in the Jax game, he figured the best way to cure his fumbilitis was to carry a football all week. How very Ampipe High of him. I’m sure all the fellas were trying to knock the ball out of his hands as he passed them in the hall on the way to Algebra class.

Brandon, you are a professional football player. Carrying a ball with you everyday isn’t going to enhance your abilities. If that was the case why wouldn’t everyone use the same philosophy? Just yesterday, I saw one of the engineers from a nearby office carrying his calculator with him at lunch. He said it’s “so he doesn’t mess up the Jenkins project.” Waiters would carry their trays with them on off-days, mechanics would roll to the movies with a pneumatic tire gun.

I subscribing to the tactic too. Since my performance has basically lacked since Day One, if you see some ahole rolling at Target or around the way with a keyboard in hand, holler at Commish.

RELATED: Funkdoobiest - "Bow Wow Wow" - "I'm quick on the double, you'll never see me fumble, like a quaterback, think I outta smack"

Snow Job

But now I only hit chicks that win beauty pageants

Trickin, they takin me skiing, at the Aspens...

Things one may find today on the first day of ski season here in CO:

-That Guy. Yes, that guy. The one who’s been chugging Amp or Go Fast while camping in his car since he got wind that today might be the day. That Guy who has been telling his boss since Labor Day that “today could be the day.” That Guy with the banged up Thule rack, who also camped out at Sniagrab, with the A-Basin faded sticker on his rig. That guy who will scream “wooooooo” about 100 times before his board/skis even touch the snow. That Guy.

-Poser That Guy. Poser That Guy wants to be like That Guy. His Thule rack is brand spanking new, he chugs a Starbucks, he told his boss and his wife he “has a appointment with a client in the mountains.” His fancy SUV pulls in well after That Guy has taken a few runs. He screams “woooooo” and promptly face plants into the fresh snow.

-Dirt. Since only about three runs are open at the areas, expect a lot of dirt. Mud, sticks, trees, leaves, all the components more conducive to building a wigwam hut rather than swooshing down a mountain.

-Fakeness. That’s not snow from the sky you’ll be skiing/boarding on, but rather from a giant snow cannon that has been chugging since September. You can mess with your out-of-state friends and say that you cannot crash into the fake stuff because it is toxic. “Yeah, be careful not to fall into it, cause if you do, you’ll have a mean case of diarrhea and a purple rash.”

-Cats. No not meow, but snow cats, as in big orange things driven by some dude named Marty from Georgetown who wears a mesh hat. They help spread the fakeness.

-Media. Hordes of talking heads will be out in force with their fluff pieces about the first day of the season. That Guy will inevitably get many interviews: “I’ve been waiting for this since like last June, man. Wooooooooo!” Media also tends to seek out a subcomponent of That Guy, That Guy In The Goofy Outfit for interviews or camera shots. Goofy Outfit usually tries to attract attention to himself in a gorilla suit, a pink boa, or a Water Buffalo Lodge hat. You know, that guy in the outfit.

-Bikini Girl. Since it’s going to be rather warm, inevitably the girl in the bikini top will show up. She is known to get That Guy, Poser That Guy, That Guy In The Goofy Outfit, and Media all worked up. She’s like soft core porn on the mountain for them.

RELATED: Craig Mack - "Flava In Ya Ear (Remix)" - "I get more butt than ash trays, fuck a fair one I get mines the fast way, the ski mask way."

Rock, Chopped, and Hawked

Bust this, I'm kickin like Segall, Out for Justice
The roughness, yes, the rudeness, ruckus...

PROPS and DROPS from the Buffs' loss in Lawrence to the Jayhawks and the Broncos home loss to the Jaguars:

DROPS: Uber-freshman Darrell Scott's debut season has yet to get into gear as he was limited to one carry against the Jayhawks and then headed straight for the bench with another nagging hamstring. For someone who admittedly showed up out of shape and has had to concentrate more on losing weight, that has to be a factor in his injuries. The offense needs a back like Darrell who can get the tough 3rd and 1 (anymore throw to the FB on short yardage and I will drive to Boulder and tear that play out of every single playbook) and help shore up the suddenly anemic running game.

DROPS: The Lollipop Guild’s Maurice Jones-Drew sliced through the D every which way: quick slashes, up the gut, around the end. Small backs have given the Donk defense fits (Darren Sproles), so maybe they need to play on their knees. When the Broncos threw eight in the box, the Jags’ simply answered by throwing it all over the field. Quite simply, they seemed to telegraph exactly to the Jags what to call on offense.

DROPS: Officiating karma has come back to bite the Donks’ in their collective asses. The PI call on the Jaguars last possession was a questionable call in that situation. And the contact call that extended a Jags’ drive in the third was another questionable call. Somwhere Ed Hochuli is laughing (probably on the incline press).

DROPS: With the CU offense having punched in a TD to close the score to 16-14, the defense rallied to force a three and out from KU, deep in their own territory. KU lined up to punt, and it was a classic momentum changer. PR Josh Smith let the ball go over his head and allowed the ball to bounce nearly 30 yards and KU had a 77 yard punt, CU pinned down deep, and effectively the game in hand from there out. I was indicative of the disorganization and lack of semblance CU had all day. A coach should've had Smith line up deep as the punter was punting in the wind. Plays were late from getting into the huddle, QB Cody Hawkins was checking off play after play with little payoff, the play clock was constantly under three seconds when snapped, dogs and cats living together, mass hysteria.

DROPS: Brandon Marshall is unquestionably entered the upper echelon of NFL wideouts, and he too may be reading into his own hype. Witness the excessive dancing, stiff arming, and general un-needed extra effort after catches when he is most likely not going to make anything out of it. It goes against simple football rhetoric, but sometimes you can run out of bounds or be taken down. Marshalls’s penchant for the extra fight lead to his simple drop/fumble inside the 10 yard line.

PROPS: Michael Pittman was a welcome surprise for the running game yesterday. With Selvin Young banged up and the messiah in Donk Land, Ryan Torian, a few weeks out, Pittman run tough to the tune of a 100 yard day. Against the leagues’ most physical D, this is no small task. However, one has to wonder how a 33 year old back who’s style is to bang heads can shoulder a 20+ carry load.

DROPS: The big white elephant in the room is of course Cody Hawkins. He's on the lips and keyboards of every CU fan, hangeron, and detractor. Cody had another miserable game versus the Jayhawks; his safety was one of he worst plays in a few years. Yet, this can't be laid all at his feet. The OL is missing its best player and a another frosh stud in Max Tuoti Mariner (with Miller and MTM in there versus WVU, they nearly had 200 yards on the ground- that helps any QB), and has anyone seen the wide receivers? Patrick Williams, the senior wide out? Where is he? The "saavy" Scotty McKnight, is he getting open? How about the tight ends? Couple all of this with Cody's sudden lack of touch and you have the debacle of the last three losses. Backup Matt Ballenger wasn't exactly Jay Cutler out there either. Cody is going to be the QB, he is their best option to win three more games.

VH1's 10 Wack Selections

Last week VH1 debuted their series of the Top 100 Hip Hop Songs of All Time. As a whole, the series was well-done, with great insight and 'where are they now' updates from the artists. The selctions were certainly what one would expect.

If the SG was to attempt to compile its own list, I would probably only include 5-6 of their selections on it (90, 74, 73, 66, 59- pictured throughout this post).

About 85 of of the selections I would proably never include, but I can see why they would be included or at least listen to the argument. Maybe they were a big hit, the beginning/end of an era, they introduced a new MC, etc. For instance, #67- Mase "Feel So Good" is a lame song, but I can see the angle that this track was perhaps the pinnacle of the "shiny suit" era. Another piece of crap song is #38- Coolio "Gangsta's Paradise" that was just too much of a mega radio hit to be ignored.

Another 10 songs have no business whatsoever to be included. Check em:

57- Big Daddy Kane- “I Get the Job Done”- BDK is a top lyricist and deserves a spot in the rankings, but the Teddy Riley-produced New Jack Swingish “I Get the Job Done”? Even BDK himself acknowledges on his 3rd album that songs like this didn’t help his rep. REPLACE with: BDK’s “The Wrath of Kane” (Particulary the live version, when you can damn feel the crowd’s wildness when the first few beats drop and Kane just kills it.)

33- Bone Thugs-N-Harmony- “Tha Crossroads”- I get one mulligan on this list, and this is it. Quite frankly, I detest Bone Thugs-N-Harmony. I seriously rank them as one of the wackest rap groups in the genre’s history. This song is just horrible, regardless of the message, the radio-play, or the other Hip Hop luminaries who praise it. REPLACE with: Mobb Deep's "Shook Ones Part II" (This song isn't on the list. Really? One of the hardest jams of alltime gets a deserved spot.)

82- Chubb Rock- “Treat Em Right”- I like Chubb Rock and I like this track, it just why exactly is it on this list? This track can be lumped in with 50 other songs released in 1989-1990. Is it better than 3X Dope's "Funky Dividends" or D-Nice's "Call Me D-Nice"? REPLACE with: Gangstarr's "Just to Get a Rep." (Preemo and Guru need to be on this list and their debut street tale is the perfect tonic.)

25- The Fugees- “Killing Me Softly”- This is a truly ridiculously good remake. Lauren Hill just flows with her vocals, the snaring beat, and even Clef’s somewhat annoying “one-time” chants lend to a great track. Just one problem: it’s not a Hip Hop track! There’s no rapping in it, not even a bar or two at the end. REPLACE with: Pharohe Monch- “Simon Says” (Why not? This track brings it all- a club banger that kept the underground heads happy. Lauren and Clef are previously repped, so sorry Pras, everyone usually forgot about you anyway.)

23- Outkast- “B.O.B”- The ATL duo has been putting out crazy hits for two decades, and this would have to be considered one of their minor ones. The chaotic beat and scattered rapping is better suited for a laced-out club scene than for the homies on the block. Take your pick of any Outkast hits and switch it out! REPLACE with: Outkast’s “Southernplayalisticadillacmuzik” (Their first hit and one could argue the track that started the Dirty South rap explosion)

75- Lil’ Kim ft Lil Cease- “Crush on You”
53- Lox ft DMX and Lil’ Kim: “Money, Power, Respect”
Couple these two songs with #32 “All About the Benjamins” and you have Lil’ Kim on three songs in the 100. When KRS-One and Rakim only have one track, and Kim has three, the red light goes on. REPLACE 75 with: Lil’ Kim’s “Queen B*tch” REPLACE 53 with: Black Moon's "How Many Emcees" (The ultimate in early 90's NYC Hip Hop and gave birth to the "backpack" term and style.)

93- N.E.R.D. ft Lee Harvey and Vida- “Lapdance”- I know about N.E.R.D., I know Pharrell, but I’ve never heard of the other two cats. In fact, I’ve never heard this song. Never. REPLACE with: Clipse- “Grindin” (Get another Pharrell track on there and the one that introduced Clipse and their style to the realm)

97- Eve- “Who’s that Girl”- Some modern day rhymes for the ladies (and fellas) preaching about ills, showing skills, and even touching on domestic violence. Yet, we already have a lot of this on the charts with Queen Latifah, Lauren Hill, MC Lyte, Yo-Yo, and even early female rappers JJ Fad and L’Trimm (both of their songs are truly awful songs, but I can live with reason on them.) That leaves Eve the odd woman out. REPLACE with: A Tribe Called Quest F/ Leaders of the New School- “Scenario” (Most heads would come to a consensus that this is the greatest posse cut ever)

52- Foxy Brown ft Jay-Z- “I’ll Be”- We already have Jay’s biggest hit in “Hard Knock Life” and already have the Foxy Brown angle covered with Lil Kim (for years the two were always mentioned in conjunction) so this lame radio hit overserves its purpose. REPLACE with: Lauren Hill’s “Lost Ones” (The lead track from her mega hit album The Miseducation of Lauren Hill displays some crafty lyrics as well as her singing the hook.)

Torae: "Switch"

BK rapper Torae has one of the year's top joints with his bangin debut Daily Conversation. Now he has one of the year's top videos in "Switch", a Black Milk produced track that was already one of the albums' highlights. The video ditches the 99% of Hip Hop videos and features no strippers, no club scenes, and no spinning rims. Gasp! The horror! Check the originality, buy the CD...

Texas Twanged

Man I'm on the set like the flicks so let your parents flash
A splash bigger than whales, I'm makin monsters mash...

PROPS and DROPS from this weekend's Longhorn throttling of the Buffs and the Broncos' defensive stand versus the Bucs:

DROPS: Carmelo Anthony was on hand as a guest of the AD to be honored along with other Colorado Olympians at halftime. How does he respond? By standing on the Texas sideline and hamming it up with them. Worse yet, JR Smith came along with him and was rocking a Texas pullover that prompted former two time Slushy Gutter Winner Mummy to simply say "fuck him. Seriously, fuck him." You can't blame the pair, that's the closest they'll see a real defense all year.

PROPS: The Donk DL came up big in the game, holding the Buc D to their lowest output of the season. Contrary to popular belief, the Tampa offense is pretty damn good. They were ranked top five coming into the game and RB Ernest Graham is a beast. The big hosses up front stymied the running game with just shear power and an interesting mix of stunts and blitzes. Perhaps the only pass rush downer was Champ Bailey knocking Brian Griese out of the game, bringing in the more mobile Jeff Garcia.

DROPS: Aric Goodman had the trifecta of missed kicks in the first half. None was exactly Jason Elam 64 yard difficulty either. Goodman has gone from the hero versus WVU (but if you look at that kick, he even hit that crappy, 10 yards back and it would've been a shank) to missing his last four kicks. Somewhere Mason Crosby is weeping. Goodman appears to be one of the most confident players on the team, but as soon as crunch time appears, he loses it.

PROPS: The CU defense was pretty formidable at times. They got to UT QB Colt McCoy four times and pressured him on numerous occasions.The Linebackers had impressive stats, but gave up the big plays over the middle and RAC to the Longhorn RBs. Safety Anthony Perkins saw extened time in the backfield as he again replaced an injured starter. He responded well with some solid defense and pass coverage. Big George Hypolite has commanded double teams and allowed the ends to get some dap. True frosh Curtis Cunningham is also on an the upswing.

DROPS: Someone tell Marcus Thomas that he isn’t Emmitt Smith. Thomas had a chance to put the offense in perfect position to punch in a TD in the red zone after an impressive zone blitz interception. However, delusions of rambling 20+ yards for a score filled his head and the ball was promptly punched out of his hands and recovered again by the Bucs. We know down lineman dream of crossing the goal line, but never has the chants of “just go down” resonated throughout the stadium and across living rooms everywhere.

PROPS: Bronco K Matt Prater continues to defy aholes like Commish CH who were skeptical of his selection as placekicker. Prater has only missed one FG all year and is booming the long ones. His 55 yarder yesterday was just crushed and could’ve been good from 65 yards.

DROPS: For the second straight week Cody Hawkins had an abyssmal game. Yet it is hard to have any sembelance of quarterbacking ability when you have Longhorns in your face all evening. The patchwork OL never allowed Hawkins to get in a groove and seven of his passes were batted down. That's not a height thing either, detractors, Manute Bol would've had those knocked off. And as always, the backup QB is the most popular guy on the team. But unless the backup is Peyton Manning, the team will stick with Cody.

White Lines

Eric Clapton's Cocaine (The SG Travis Henry Remix)

If you’re not a Bronco, just push that blow; cocaine.
If you cant get a first down, tackled on the ground; cocaine.
Trav dont lie, he dont lie, he dont lie; cocaine.

If you got eight kids, you wanna sell those lids; cocaine.
When your career is kaput, you don’t hear “hut hut”; cocaine.
Trav dont lie, yo dont lie, yo dont lie; cocaine.

Shanny cut you, that must of stung, beat out by Selvin Young; cocaine.
Dont forget this fact, you aint’ the featured back; cocaine.
Trav dont lie, yo dont lie, please dont lie; cocaine.

Trav dont lie, he dont lie, he dont lie; cocaine.


RELATED: Wu-Tang Clan - "Da Mystery of Chessboxin" - "I'm a give it to ya, with no trivia. Raw like cocaine straight from Bolivia.

RELATED: 3rd Bass - "Product of the Environment" - "But I know kids who in a month or so make that money sellin yayo"