Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Ode to Zima

You trippin, must be that Zima you was sippin
Yo' accountant couldn't count how many bottles I be grippin...

The Slushy Gutter tribute to Zima, which will be discontinued by the Mothership after 15 years of production.

-Commish's first Zima experience: It was Fall of 1994 and I was at a party at the Spanish Towers in Boulder. The party was getting into the wee morning hours; keg dead, liquor stores closed, not a beer in sight. In the fridge was a six pack of Zima that belonged to the big haired girlfriend of the party's host. Hell, why not? What hit my mouth tasted like some concoction of rancid mouthwash mixed with hairspray and kitty litter. Not only was that my first Zima experience, but my last.

-Tha Alkaholiks reference Zima in their 1995 hit "Daaam" with the line the liquidator with the hardcore demanor / bustin out the perpetrators I see through em like a Zima. VIDEO

-In late 1999 and 2000 an email forward started making its way around the 'net about a couple of drunk Texas fans on the Saturday of the 99 Big 12 Championship (check the entire thing here). In it, throughout a boozy day and night, the story's author tells of his first Zima experience:
7:12 We have stopped for gas. I am hungry. I go inside the store. I walk past the beer frig. I notice a Zima. I've never had a Zima. I wonder if it's any good. I pull a Zima from the frig. I twist the top off and drink the Zima in three swallows. Zima sucks. I replace the empty bottle in the frig.
-Last year, in the second Slushy Gutter Summer Mission, current Slushy Gutter winner Juck tried to count Tangerine Zima onto his tally. When he was denied and admonished by his fellow SGers, he argued that Zima is in fact a type a beer, while most Mexican beers the SGers were imbibing were not. Fuzzy math? Or words of wisdom?

-A few years back, The Commish and Mrs. Commish toured the Mothership and was asked by the tour guide to name the eight (or so) brews that were crafted there. The large tour group came up with all, except one. The silence was deafening, until yours truly belted out the final piece: "Zima!" I beemed with pride as the tourists shot menacing glares in my direction.

Have a ZIMA story or info nugget from the past? Share in the COMMENTS section.

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Anonymous Anonymous said...

My grandmother came for a visit and thought the Zima in the fridge was some sort of 7up. Grandma was feeeling a bit tipsy after a couple (she didn't drink) and fell on the dog.

9:21 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

My Cousin and I tried some Zima back in high school. We decided to mix it with Kool-Aid to make it taste better. Note to self: shaking a carbonated beer/malt beverage to mix with Kool-Aid will lead to it exploding all over your cousin's Blazer. After that, we just stuck to Boone's Farm and 40s. Classy gals that we were.

11:23 AM  
Blogger Travis said...

We used to have some chicks we would hang out with on the weekends back in those weird days between high school graduation and turning 21. They'd buy two six packs of Zima every weekend and a big pack Starbursts candy. They would then throw a Starburst in every bottle they opened the rest of the night. Shit looked weird with pieces of wax shit floating around in it.

Zima was always that "last resort" drink. My last time running into it, either last summer in Denver or this past summer (they all blend together) I remember being faced with a decision of Zima or Miller Lite. I despise Miller Lite, so went with the Zima. It was absolutely disgusting, so I choked down a couple Miller Lites before passing out....

7:20 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Amazingly enough, I've never had a Zima in my life, not even a taste of one.

I'm comforted by that fact.

10:19 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

...that's because you were to broke for afford it. I had a friend pick up a six pack for me whenever I was still working at the old parking garage on campus there at CU Boulder. I remember it tasting like flat 7up and like how spit tastes when you spit in the air and catch it in your mouth again. I wouldn't call it "vile" or anything like that. I don't think I ever finished the six pack, but I do remember getting a buzz off it. That's some Mike Woods / sorority shit right there. That said, I'd still drink it out here if they gave me one.

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