Friday, October 17, 2008

Fumblin and Bumblin


I been had skills, Cristal spills
Hide bills in Brazil, about a mill' to ice grill
Make it hard to figure me, liquor be, kickin me
in my asshole… undercover, Donnie Brasco...

At his presser yesterday, uber-receiver Brandon Marshall was toting a football throughout the entire proceedings. The reason? Since he fumbled in the Jax game, he figured the best way to cure his fumbilitis was to carry a football all week. How very Ampipe High of him. I’m sure all the fellas were trying to knock the ball out of his hands as he passed them in the hall on the way to Algebra class.

Brandon, you are a professional football player. Carrying a ball with you everyday isn’t going to enhance your abilities. If that was the case why wouldn’t everyone use the same philosophy? Just yesterday, I saw one of the engineers from a nearby office carrying his calculator with him at lunch. He said it’s “so he doesn’t mess up the Jenkins project.” Waiters would carry their trays with them on off-days, mechanics would roll to the movies with a pneumatic tire gun.

I subscribing to the tactic too. Since my performance has basically lacked since Day One, if you see some ahole rolling at Target or around the way with a keyboard in hand, holler at Commish.

RELATED: Funkdoobiest - "Bow Wow Wow" - "I'm quick on the double, you'll never see me fumble, like a quaterback, think I outta smack"

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6 Comments:

Blogger Hercules Rockefeller said...

Best part of that presser?

Marshall admitting that an assistant equipment guy was able to knock it out of his hands on the way to the dias.

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