March MC Madness

I take 7 MC's put em in a line

And add 7 more brothas who think they can rhyme

Well, it'll take 7 more before I go for mine

And that's 21 MC's ate up at the same time...

One of my favorite things about Hip Hop is the great debates. Best album. Best DJ. Best song. And my all-time favorite, who is the best MC?

In honor of the Final Four, I seeded some MCs and let em play it off for the National Championship. (note: most "underground" MCs were not participating)

ELIMANATED OPENING ROUND: O.C., Jeru Tha Damaja, Ice Cube, Grand Puba, Chuck D, Method Man, Pharoahe Monch, Del Tha Funkee Homosapien.

FIRST ROUND:
-#1 Seed Rakim vs #8 Gza- The Genius may be Wu’s most lyrically gifted member but Ra serves him like clock radio speakers. Don’t sweat the technique.
-#2 Seed Biggie vs #7 Nas- Brookyln v Queens. This is a tighter battle than expected. But, Big’s smooth delivery and gunplay lyrics take Nas. Biggie Smalls is the illest.
-#3 Seed Big Daddy Kane vs #6 Seed Lord Finesse- Lord Finesse is the tourney’s midmajor surprise. His punchlines are incredible, and when BDK strays to his playboy/player rhymes, he jumps on him. BDK recovers late and proves there ain’t no half stepping.
-#4 Seed KRS-One vs #5 Big L- KRS takes the Teacher label a bit too serious and Big L’s smooth and crafty punchlines knock KRS out of the tourney. Harlem over the Bronx, put it on.

FINAL FOUR:
#1 Rakim v #5 Big L- Rakim just has too much for L. He comes at him from the political and ideological angle, the street angle, throws in some complex wordplay. L spits the ill street slangs, but in the end he just can’t climb the mountain that is the Microphone Fiend.

#2 Biggie v #3 Big Daddy Kane- Very similar styles here in that both can flow with the sex and player rhymes. BDK can twist it quickly, then again BIG hung with Bones on a track. Both bring in the R & B crooners, BDK can spit the subliminal disses, as BIG might have too. In the end though, Big just takes over. His street tales champion BDK, proving to the cameo’ed one, relax and take notes.

GRAND CHAMPIONSHIP:
#1 Rakim v #2 Biggie- The Hip Hop equivalent of the 72 Dolphins v the 85 Bears. The cool and clam that is The R and the overwhelming presence of Big. Both had their hanger ons, notably Eric B and Puffy (although both of them did craft some fine beats for these maestros to flow over.) Both never seemed to never be rattled, never lose their cool. Music for the two has endured through cycles and changes in Hip Hop, yet they are both revered. Rakim could flow over a sparse beat, Biggie weaved his tales over 80’s samples. Kick a hole in the speaker, pull the plug, then I jet. My mind's my nine, my pen's my Mac-10. This one heads to overtime, maybe even a second one. In the end…he ain’t no joke…Rakim Allah.

Related: Also, check About.com Rap's Top 50 MCs

Red Gone Wild

The long faced murderer
Servin over two billion motherfuckers a day like Mickey D's circular
Workin a, shifty hour like a burgular…

In celebration of Redman’s new album release, Red Gone Wild, here are a few of my favorite Redman moments:

6. MTV Cribs. We all know the fluff, tackiness, champagne, and gaudy bed spreads that usually highlight this show. Redman invited us to his townhome complete with his cousin sleeping on the couch, the “dollar box,” and busted out screen doors.

5. From the classic Muddy Waters album, the bangin “It’s Like That” with K-Solo, it took about four views of the video before I realized what the two crazy MCs are wearing on their heads. Towels? Flags? No, those are t-shirts. In 1996, I thought that was cool and proceeded to rock the t-shirt on my head for the next two weeks. My roommates thought I was high, which I wasn’t, but probably drunk. (Trivia: name the track K-Solo misspells the word ‘bird’)

4. Dare Iz A Darkside isn’t just a classic album, but a unique album cover. It wasn’t until I was digging in the crates through old vinyl at a local thrift store and stumbled across Funkadelic’s 1971 Maggot Brain that I saw Red’s inspiration.

3. Red’s verse from the all-time posse cut, “Headbanger.” It could contain one of the most un-PC lines ever. Regardless, he takes over this track.

2. Redman and Method Man shilling for deodorant. Not since Shan and KRS pimped Sprite had two real MCs put it out there for the Man. I doubt if middle America realized they were buying their deodorant from a guy who once claimed “I puff so much green I bleed guacamole.”

1. During the 05 NBA All-Star Game here in the Mile High City, I got to check Red and Meth at a free BET show. Red rocked the throwback Kiki Vandeweghe jersey and brought his 5 year old son on stage. In between songs, Red was big upping our state, when he asked, “you know what I like most about Colorado?” He then went Vince Vaughn “ear muffs” on his kid and answered his own question: “you got that goooood sticky weeeeeed.”

5 Star Breakdown

Now here's a funky introduction of how nice I am
Tell your mother, tell your father, send a telegram...

Slushy Gutter breaks down last night's Nuggets loss to the Pistons:

In bounds the ball. You get the ball in bounds and you will win the game. Successfully in bound the ball to a player on your team, and you will triumph. In bounds the ball. If the ball is advanced from the out of bounds area into the playing court to a member of the Nuggets, they win the game. In bounds the ball. Take the basketball, throw it into the field of play, the Denver player catches it, then you will receive a 'Win' in the National Basketball Association's 2006-2007 season. In bounds the ball, the ball, you in bound it. If the ball leaves the inbounding players hand, and lodges itself into a Denver player's grasp, the Denver Nuggets will defeat the Detroit Pistons. Ball, in bounds, win. Do not throw the ball to a non-Nuggets player, do not throw it to another out of bounds area, do not throw it to Coach Karl, the hot dog guy, or a cheerleader, simply throw the ball in bounds to a teammate (a player wearing a same uniform) and then the team in powder blue will be declared the victor.

Killer Bz on a Swarm

I appear right here and scare and dare
A mere musketeer that would dare to compare
Put him in the rear, back there where he can't see clear
Get a beer, idea or near stare, yeah

CU Hoops Coaching Search by the numbers...

*Months since position became open: 6

*Known candidates to be interviewed: 1

*Guys named 'Hans' mad at the CU Ath department: 1

*Guys named 'Hans' who aren't evil scientists: few

*Colleges Jedi mind tricked into hiring former coach Ricardo Patton: 1 (sorry, N Illinios)

*Number of CU wins last year: 7

*Missing vowels in lead candidate Jeff Bzdelik's name: 1

*NBA players who played under Bzdelik but can't spell his name: many

*How many times we've heard of Bzdelik's players academic rigors at the AFA: 1 trillion

*Times you'll hear that about CU players: maybe once ( a player may accidentally sign up for Calculus because he thought it was a PS3 game)

Linas Kleiza will break you

I crush your whole brain frame
Cause you couldn't maintain the funk
That have your rap style for lunch, chump...

Other than Carmelo and AI the best Nuggets player right now is undoubtedly Linas Kleiza, aka The Lithuanian Leaper. Kleiza has become the steady sixth man as Coach Karl has shortened up his bench during the current five game streak.

I was surprised the other day when Kleiza was being interviewed after the game and surprisingly he was very well spoken and articulate. Call me Captain Stereotype, but I assumed Kleiza would sound like Nicoli Volkov or 'Krebs' from the old Budweiser commercial.

Maybe Linas could spice it up next time he goes off for a 360 jam or draining six treys and go all Ivan Drago on us in the postgame interview.

*TV: Linas, a tremendous game. The Lakers looked to be keying on Melo, leaving you free for your shots.
*LK: Laker are weak. I strong like Grizzly Bear. Linas smash Laker.
*TV: You slowed down Kobe enough in the 3rd quarter to open up the big lead.
*LK: Kobe, hah! He can not get past Linas. Linas makes Kobe look like little kitty cat. Meow.
*TV: They seemed to get a bit physical as the 4th quarter dragged on.
*LK: Hah! Feeesickal!? Linas mother more feeeesickal when Linas burp at dinner. Linas will shoot. Linas dunk. Linas pass to Aleen. Linas obliterate Laker.
*TV: You have Steve Nash and the Suns coming in next. How do you prepare?
*LK: Nash look like stinky girl prostitute in Vilnuis. Nash feel power of Linas. He will cry like baby who doesn't have borsch.
*TV: After the Suns you have quite a road stretch. Does that loom on your mind?
*LK: Road no scare Linas. Road only scare coward. Linas go on road anywhere...New Jersey, Moscow...crush them like bug. Linas rain blows on their head.
*TV: How far can this team go Linas?
*LK: Linas take across the universe, we will pummel all enemy. Laker, Sun, Jayhawk, Pole, Soviet. Linas and Nugget, competition...nyet!
*TV: Thank you Linas, good luck.
*LK: No! We get vodka, eat lamb, dance, then we hump. You and Linas. You will like.

Road Trip

Set up shop and write a verse
Actually, that's best come to best
My lyrics take care of me
they therapy, Get shit off my chest...

***The Powder Blue Patrol begins a brutal road stretch starting tonight in Tony Soprano’s backyard versus the soon to be Brooklyn Nets. This starts a nine game stretch with eight of those coming on the road. The Nugs four game current streak includes a pounding of Nash and the Suns, but this trip will set the tone for a possible playoff run.

***Ricardo Patton gets a new job 10 days after his last game for CU. Meanwhile, his former bosses in Boulder are 6 months into their search and we still have the same top candidate as we had in October: Jeff Bzdelik. This “comprehensive search” seems to start and end just south of Monument Hill.

***The Broncos sign QB Patrick Ramsey. I wondered why there are so many people calling in sick to school and work today- they’re lining up for those ‘P-Ram’ jersies.

***The Hip Hop underground world has a collective chub today as El-P releases his second solo CD, I’ll Sleep When Your Dead. It’s understandable, as El-P’s track record of production and past releases points to a classic banger. Let’s not sleep on another underground legend who is releasing his first solo effort today, Evidence (The Weatherman LP.) The Dilated People’s MC enlists producers Alchemist and DJ Babu and guest appearances from West Coast stalwarts Defari and Planet Asia. The bare track, “Mr Slow Flow” features Ev spitting his patented lazy flow and slick punchlines.

Still Wishin On That Four Leaf Clover?

SONGS FOR YOUR ST. PATRICK'S DAY:

*Young Black Teenagers- Tap the Bottle LIVE
*The Alkaholiks f/Ol Dirty Bastard- Hip Hop Drunkies VIDEO
*Boogie Down Productions- Criminal Minded ("Especially when you're not, college material, wake up every morning to your Lucky Charms cereal")
*Beatnuts- Here's A Drink
*3rd Bass- Green Eggs and Swine
*Ludacris- Spur Of The Moment ("So stay with me, and let's get tipsy, remembering the days on the block sippin whiskey")
*De La Soul f/J-Ro of Tha Liks- My Writes ("Drinkin up Black & Tan in the back of a van, I learned as a young man - long trip, piss in a can")
*One Beer- MF Doom
*House of Pain- Top O' The Morning to Ya
*Company Flow- Legends ("I got it made, you fight to march in the St. Patrick's Day parade")
*House Of Pain- Shamrocks and Shenanigans VIDEO
*50 Cent- High All the Time ("Sit in the crib, sippin Guinness, watching Menace")
*Mobb Deep- Drink Away The Pain
*Tribe Called Quest- Luck of Lucien
*Notorious BIG- Kick In The Door ("Your reign on the top was short like leprechauns, as I crush so-called willies, thugs, and rapper-dons")
*Das EFX- Host With The Most ("Holy Shamrocks, the man rocks with no beef or ham hocks")
*J-Kwon- Tipsy VIDEO
*Wu-Tang Clan- 7th Chamber ("Now it's all over- n***** seeing pink hearts, yellow moons, orange stars and green clovers")
*Smooth Da Hustla- Fuck Watcha Heard ("I stuck up, Lucky Charms met'em at the rainbow, caught the pot o' gold, and his four leaf clover, fucked his luck up")
*Volume 10- Liquor Store Run
*RZA as Bobby Digital- Lab Drunk
*Eyedea & Abilities- Read Wiped In Blue ("From the Koran to leprechauns, since when did America fall in between Lebanon and Ireland?")
*Ghostface Killah- Daytona 500 ("Sip Irish Moss")
*D12- Purple Pills/Hills ("He's upstairs naked with a weapon drawn, hey, hey son you see me steppin on these leprechauns?") VIDEO
*House Of Pain- Danny Boy ("I gotta have corn beef and cabbage, if I wanna manage")
*Eric B & Rakim- My Melody ("The rhyme is rugged, at the same time sharp, I can swing off anything even a string of a harp")
*Tha Alkaholiks- Only When Im Drunk VIDEO
*EPMD- You Had Too Much Too Drink
*Talib Kweli & Hi-Tek f/Rah Digga- Down For The Count ("Type of rap bitch that love underground classics, gettin more green than that n**** St. Patrick")
*Tha Alkaholiks- Last Call
*Fresh Marcus- That Aint Hip Hop ("They must be Irish, becuase it's a sham when they rock")
*EPMD- Strictly Business ("You still pickin on that four-leaf clover? Bring in the Sandman, sucker, because it's over")
*Wu Tang Clan- Cash Still Rules ("Scary hours no money out, smash the Guinness Stout")
*King Geedorah- No Snakes Alive

FOR ALL THE DENVER SG HEADZ: What is better than the warm Colorado sun, Irish-American friendliness, a parade, and plenty o beer? If you rep the North, peep the Exchange Tavern for good eats and dranks at a traditional Irish pub. On Saturday, check the annual St Patrick's Day parade in LoDo , and the surrounding bars afterwards (Fado's always does it up big.) If you see some douchebag in the 'I (shamrock) Beer' shirt like in the profile and a green Rockies cap, that'll be the Commish. Meet the entire SG crew, drink more beer, throw up on the street! Erin Go Bragh, brah.

Everyone in the Pool

Been on this planet for 25 years and still strong
the worlds rotten like the veins in my fathers arm...

SG Summer is proud to present The Hoops Master NCAA Tourney Whirlycontest! No fancy prizes, no money, basically, you get nothing and you'll like it. The tourney is over on Yahoo, the ID # is 103826 and the password is hello. Simple, pick the brackets, watch the games, drink some beer, repeat.

The winner will be dubbed The Hoops Master here SG Summer for one full year, or the demise of this blog, whichever comes first. With the wack shit permeating from the cyber stink-hole, son't bank on that year thing.

The Hoops Master will be deferred to in all basketball related matter. For example, if we say "Carmelo is playing like a beast right now, he should garner some late MVP consideration." The Hoops Master can comment, "Carmelo is only playing good because a Jamaican VooDoo priest cursed him with a giant orange nipple that is in the center of his back." Then we have to take The Hoops Master word for it, and Melo is adorned with a large orange nip on his back. Or we could write, "CU would be wise to hire UNLV head coach Lon Kruger, he really knows his college hoops." The Hoops Master could counter with, "screw Kruger, CU has to hire Captain Stubbing and have Gopher as his point guard to win." Well then, we'll salute the ol' Love Boat staff. Good Luck!

Yahoo Slushy Gutter The Hoops Master NCAA Whirlycontest
ID = 103826
password = hello

Real March Madness

Street's disciple, I rock beats that's mega-trifle
And groovy but smoother than moves by Villanova
You're still a soldier, I'm like Sly Stone in Cobra...

I'm sure most of you were as shocked as I was that the University of Colorado didn't make the NCAA field. It's been a couple days and I can finally rehash the emotional journey that I endured on Sunday...

9am: I awake. Somewhere the Buffs are practicing their intricate offensive scheme to be unleashed on some poor mid-major team. Coastal Carolina is quivering. Final Four!

Noon: Lunch. I review the CU record: a svelte 7-20 overall, 3-13 in the tough Big 12. The conference should get all 12 teams in to the field. Very niiiice!

1pm: Three hours until the brackets are revealed. The CU brass is undoubtedly lobbying for a top line seed. I mean, we beat Central Florida! Daunte Culpepper went there. That’s impressive.

3pm: Joe Lunardi has his 'last four out' segment. Too bad for those saps, I’m on hotels.com getting my room in the ATL. Holla!

4pm: Here we go! The committee is big into the last few games played, and that’s good for the Buffs; we were 1-1 in the last two, including a 73-69 dismantling of Nebraska. Yeah, that's right, Nebraska.

4:05pm: Kansas is a top seed. We played KU twice this year, a good sign!

4:10pm: Midwest bracket unveiled. Florida is a top seed; Joakim Noah is seen doing his best Mark Madsen impression. I can dance better than him. Recognize!

4:12pm: Maryland versus Davidson. Maryland Davidson? Sounds like someone that Wally Cleaver would date.

4:17pm: Texas A&M- Chorpus Christi gets a bid. Texas A&M played Colorado, and I’ve been to Chorpus Christi…oh yeah!

4:18pm: We’re not in the Midwest bracket. That’s alright. We beat UNC…that’s Northern Colorado, so I’m not worried. Represent baby, baby!

4:25pm: West bracket. Kansas has 30 wins?! Damn. If it wasn’t for my Buffs, they’d only have 28. Suckers.

4:28pm: Indiana gets a 7 seed. Reminds me of the Chauncey-led 1997 Buffs’ tourney team. Ahhh, all those great tourney teams of yesteryear…2003, 1997, 19 something or other. That’s tradition, the committee can’t overlook that! Byahhh!

4:30pm: No West bracket for the Buffs. No big deal, there’s 32 spots left. We beat Denver. Denver! Not the Denver Nuggets, but the University of Denver. Skills.

4:35pm: East bracket. Texas is a 4 seed. Kevin Durant had 30+ points versus the Buffs, we helped make him what he is, tourney tough! They play New Mexico State, coached by Reggie Theus. I used to love "Hangin With Mr Cooper", or "Saved By The Coach", or "Slam Dunk", whatever sweet sitcom he was on. That’s karma!

4:38pm: Texas Tech is in, they beat us. Coach Knight loves Coach Patton. Belmont gets a 15 seed. Coach Patton went to Belmont. The stars are aligning!

4:45pm: South bracket! It comes out of San Antonio, where CU once lost in the Big 12 football title game. It's gonna be like 'Revenge of Raphie' or 'Remember The Alamo(dome)' or some crafty sh*t. Oh baby!

4:47pm: Long Beach State gets 12 seed. My wife asks if that’s really a school. Duh! That’s where legendary CU coach Joe Harrington came from. The Coach Harrington who took us to a NIT 3rd place in 1991. That Long Beach State! The pure coaching lineage. Cha-ching!

4:49pm: Only eight spots left. Maybe the committee is still watching that momentual upset of Oklahoma State from February 3, or that 1 point win over Utah in the cauldron that scares most visiting teams into YMCA teams, the Utah Utes home court! That’s like winning a game in Hell versus the Devil and a gang of demons! Boo Yah!

4:51pm: Last two teams. We’ll be one. I’m booking my trip for the first round game in New Orleans right now. Mardi Gras baby! Show me your ta-tas!

4:53pm: I must’ve missed our name called when I was in the bathroom.

4:55pm: ESPN/Yahoo/MSN/Fox Sports must have a technical glitch. There’s no CU on any of their brackets.

5:15pm: The fire department has rescued me from the ledge of our house. I’m too depressed to go any further. Someone at CU must’ve banged a committee member’s daughter/wife/dog.

6:00pm: No one at the CU AD will return my calls re: who banged the daughter/wife/dog. Still no reply from my congressman or NCAA headquarters.

9:00pm: The police have visited my house and asked me to stop my threats versus the various entities that have screwed the Buffs. I tell those pigs to that they’ll never take me alive. They’re part of this grand conspiracy.

9:05pm: The floor at the Broomfield County jail is hard. I bet this is Gary Barnett's fault.

More time for Kung Fu

Thinking of this, you keep repeating you miss
The rhymes from the microphone soloist
And you sit by the radio, hand on the dial, soon
As you hear it, pump up the volume...

The 11+ year tenure of CU Hoops coach and tenth degree, smack-ya-mama up black belt Ricardo Patton came to a forgettable end yesterday, and no one really seemed to notice. In the college basketball wasteland known as Colorado, Coach Patton would have to beat Kansas (which he did once, versus 24 losses) or have an LSU-style sexual affair with one of his players.

Hoops has never been at the forefront at CU. Coach Patton was a TV cameraman before he came to CU, the man he replaced is now a real-estate agent. Wow, the resume background checks that must’ve went into both of those hirings. Of course, both of those coaches were hired by the “old” regime. The “old” regime of stereotypical Boulder snobby-nosed, do it the same way for 50 years, all talk no cattle brainiacs. The same “old” regime who let the football program slip from the top 25, the women’s hoops team slip to rock bottom, facilities get antiquated, obsolete, or downright unsafe.

In swoops new CU AD Mike Bohn, replaced along with the rest of the “old” regime in the drawn-out wake of the football recruiting “scandal” that really wasn’t. Mr. Bohn has his mark already with a new football coach, a new women’s coach, and a soon new to be men’s coach. Add to it a new customer service approach, outreach programs, a new attitude, and improving facilities. As Dan Hawkins said, “it’s the Big 12!”

Bohn has his most formidable task ahead with the new hiring. He’s not satisfied with CU Hoops playing to 2500 fans a night. He’s not liking the look of the 1970’s edifice of the arena (seriously, are there a few cans of paint up there?) If he’s like me, he’s damn freaking tired of 5000 Jayhawk fans with their “rock chalk” chants in that bitch every time they play there.

Early signs point to the same two candidates that were at the forefront last October: Air Force head coach and former Nuggets head coach Jeff Bzdelik and his butt-crack haircut and Nuggets assistant Mike Dunlap. Neither of those hires would get more than a cursory yawn or a five second crawl on the bottom of ESPN2. CU would have to dig up Hank Iba or offer Phil Jackson a billion dollars to get any dap for their basketball program.

The thinking here is to proceed quickly with Patton’s successor, but still make an inspired choice. Bzdelik’s star may be fading, four straight losses and maybe missing the tourney. Plus, maybe call Carmelo Anthony to see how he relates to today’s young athlete. Dunlap is intriguing, but this is his first year with the Nuggets and their suddenly 28-29? Again, another call to Melo. Duke’s Steve Wojohowski is young, has coached the US team, and has the Duke ties. Then again, so did Quin Synder. Alvin Gentry has Colorado connections and on the Suns staff. UNLV’s Lon Kruger is interesting, with successful stops around college hoops and a forgettable Atlanta Hawks adventure.

Bottom line: fuck it, dig up Hank Iba, and then call Melo. Does it really matter? As someone asked on this lame blog once, “CU has a basketball team?”

Liberty or Death!

Causing rambunction, throughout the sphere
Raise the levels of the boom, inside the ear…

Forgive me if I’m not having a welcoming parade for the Donkey’s signing of Travis Henry. After Tatum Bell, Mike Anderson, Rueben Droughns, Olandis Gary, Quentin Griffith, and even Garrison Hearst, Coach Shanny could throw Blair Rasmussen back there and he’ll probably top 1K in yardage. However, I would be intrigued if the Broncos signed American Revolutionary hero Patrick Henry, as a co-worker of mine told me yesterday. He said to me in a water-cooler moment, “boy, the Broncos signing Patrick Henry seems pretty good.”

Yes! Patrick Henry! Some pros and cons:

CON: The fact he’s been dead for 200+ years may hinder his running style
PRO: Tons of witty “Give me the Super Bowl or give me death” signs around Mile High

CON: Was succeeded by and overshadowed by Thomas Jefferson as Governor of Virginia
PRO: Will be able to play with Thomas Jefferson graduate Daniel Graham

CON: Those old school wigs may make his helmet fit awkwardly
PRO: Had 11 children, so he’ll fit right in with most professional athletes

CON: Was an outspoken critic of the adoption of the Constitution
PRO: Mike Shannahan is already tight with GW Bush, so he is already familiar with twisting the laws of the US.

CON: There was no real competitive sports in his day
PRO: The Broncos we not really competitive in most of their games

CON: Is considered a Patriot by the masses
PRO: It would be super cool to see him bitch slap Tom Brady with some white gloves when he finds out he’s also a Patriot.

CON: Strippers discourage that you “make it rain” with pewter alloy coins of the era
PRO: Front loading musket is one gun that Tank Johnson can’t claim

CON: When Broncos practice inside, his horse cannot eat the FieldTurf
PRO: If Elam goes down, horse is instant kicker!

Breckenridge Buffoonery

Yo the bass is in the place, sure 'nuff shrugged your face
Like R. Kelly gettin sprayed with a can of mace…

This past weekend saw a guys’ trip to Breckenridge, Colorado for some skiing, trash talking, and beer. Lots of beers. No really, lots of beer. Super mas beer power, you understand!? Former Slushy Gutter winner Pickles coordinated the trip, along with two-time Slushy Gutter winner TDub, two time Slushy Gutter winner JBiz, and current Slushy Gutter holder Jeez Steve.

The highlights of the weekend included Rip biffing it into some trees, slamming hooch at The Dive Bar when it smelled like vomit, gorging ourselves at Downtairs At Erics, pouring beers down passed out people’s throat, burning your hand because you left your ski boots next to the heater all night, seeing Jay Cutler at Cecilias, trying to get Jedi Mind Tricked by a drunk bartender into buying $9 beers, threaten to push a skier with an ugly Huskers coat off the mountain, going the wrong way on a one-way street, hearing an attractive lady enter The Gold Pan (the oldest continuously operating bar in the west) take a look around and say “it’s a sausage fest in here,” pounding chili at Kermits on the way home, stopping off for a “quick” seven pitchers at the Rock Rest Lounge, not being able to walk on the snowy streets without falling, wearing your vest with nothing else under it at Salt Creek Saloon, $8.50 tall boys on the mountain, watching ‘Beerfest’ and realizing it was mirroring your weekend, Face doing his best MC Hammer impersonation, downing smooooooooth CLs like it was water, and other assorted debauchery.

Slushy Gutter...indeed.

Friday Funk: DWYCK

Yesterday I heard the classic banger from Gangstarr and Nice and Smooth, "DWYCK". A few nuggets about the track:

*At no time during the song is the word "Dwyck" ever said.
*My lovely wife guessed that DWYCK was an acronym for "Do Want Your Cracker Kakes?"
*Tie-top hats aren't one of the highlights of Hip Hop fashion.
*The song was only available as the B-side of 1992's "Take It Personal", until it appeared as a track on 1994's Hard To Earn album.
*When the song was put out, there was rumors the title was a thinly veiled dis to KRS-One, with the "D" in the title being a acknowledgment to KRS cohort D-Nice.
*The "Phillie at home..." line was sampled by the group Total Devastation (a blatant mid-90's rip off of Cypress Hill) who many beleived had the most samples ever on their debut album.
*Many believe it stands for "do what ya can, kid"
*After seeing the song debuted on Yo! in the memorable Summer of 1992, my homie Uncle Buck and myself found ourselves miles from the 'burbs on an East Colfax record shop copping the single. Think old school, grimey record store.
*Premier samples on the song "Hey Jude" by Clarence Wheeler and the Enforcers and "Synthetic Substitution" by Melvin Bliss.
*Video was shot on Atlantic City's boardwalk.
*Lemonade is still a popular drink, 15 years later