You Can't Spell USA without Melo

Snappin you amateur MC's
Don't you know I'm like the Dream Team tourin overseas,
For rappers in my circle I'm a deadly disease
Ringmaster, bringin a tiger cub to his knees...

The USA suddenly reverted to the old Dream Team days the past two weeks in Vegas, crushing the America’s “best” and apparently crushing champagne on their way to qualifying for the 2008 Olympics.

First, the down news. There was hardly any competition in the tourney, as our grouping (much like soccer…err…futbol) doesn’t contain many top squads. Argentina sent their B Squad as Floppy and the Gang spent their summer in Buenos Aries watching Evita.

Brazil was lead by a chubby and ineffective Nene, who if Nuggets management was watching should summon the big man to Denver immediately. He looked out of shape and out of sync nearly the entire tourney. A month with Steve Hess and some work with the staff should have him ready by camp.

Even Mexico was without their two best players, Eduardo Najera and former Nugget Earl Watson. Yes, Earl Watson can play for the Mexican team, just believe me. Steve Nash hasn’t played for the Hockey Mullets in a bit, as his presence would’ve presented a good test for the US guards. So basically, the NBA all-stars were playing against teams that most top 50 NCAA teams could beat.

Don’t expect the comp in Bejing to be like this, the Euros and their precision team play could again confound Coach K and his team. They could also choose to send the US to the line with some expert hacking, where they again struggled in the Vegas. They also look a lot more scrubby and dirty than the well-groomed North and South Americans.

The crowds weren’t exactly anti-US either, which they would’ve been if the original site of Venezuela was kept in place. Hugo Chavez probably would’ve personally dug trap holes on the court.

The good news. The US handled a Puerto Rican team that had schooled the US in the 2004 Athens games, where the Larry Brown team looked lost. This time around, hero Carlos Arroyo played like, well, Carlos Arroyo as the US just ate him up.

Coach K seems to have a cohesive group that is starting to know eachother’s game. At any time the core of this group can switch from a scorer to a defensive stopper to a assist machine. One Kobe Bean Bryant thrived in this role. He wasn’t asked to score a ton, but Laker fans were shocked when he was dishing out dimes like Magic. Most impressive was his lock down defense on the opponent, most notably Brazil’s Leandro Barbosa.

LeBron was almost unconscious from the floor, as he too dished the rock when needed. Dwight Howard, we are seeing him become a force in these games right before our eyes. Jason Kidd took hardly a single shot, but his and Chauncey Billup’s leadership proved invaluable. And for all the whining about Michael Redd saving US Basketball, it might be right. The Milwaukee player was on point from beyond the arc the entire tourney.

Finally, our hero is our man Melo. He takes some here at the SG, but dude was like a freaking video game out there. He could score from the wing, taking it to the rack, even from behind the line. He crashed the boards and shared the rock. Even Kobe seemed to defer to Melo throughout the tourney. Why he wasn’t the MVP is a strange story (Luis Scola?) Maybe Melo needs some Phil Jackson visualization to imagine the Spurs as the Argentine team.

Election Day

Now we rock the party and come correct
Our cuts are on time and rhymes connect
Got the right to vote and will elect
And other rappers can't stand us, but give us respect...

The Slushy Gutter is proud to endorse the following on this Election Day:

**Mike Montgomery- With the lame duck status of CU's Ricardo Patton, what better way to make a splash in the Big 12 then to hire the former Stanford coach. CU, which aspires to be like Stanford academically, could be the perfect fit for Montgomery. He's got cash for days in his pockets from his Golden State gig, so the price might not be too high.

**Nene- In the first two games this year, the 4th year pro from Brazil has played well. This coming off a season long planted on the bench after a injury in game #1 last year. With Kenyon Martin's ineffectiveness and his attitude bound to go south, Nene has got to get himself into condition to give us 30+ minutes each night.

**Javon Walker and Jake Plummer- Walker's emergence the past few games could change the landscape of the entire conference. He gives the Donks a legit "home run" threat and like we saw Sunday, can just eat up whoever is covering him. Jake has bounced back well from early struggles and has thrown some great balls over the past two games.

**Chauncey Billups- He'll be a free agent at year's end and what better situation for him to get the last big money contract here in his hometown. He could come in ala Steve Nash in PHX a few years back: in his early 30's, with a young superstar, a running team and coach, and lead the Nugs deep in the playoffs. If we see the Nuggets unload Cheeto Miller and some other salaries this season, they could be setting up for this.

**Dan Hawkins- Yep, ol' Sunshine Dan gets our nod, despite his 1-9 record and questionable play calling. Even though I don't subscribe to the theory that Gary Barnett left the "cupboard bare" for Dan, it wasn't exactly chocked full. The best signs: a top 25 recruiting class, and a top 15 Boise State team he left behind.

The Jump Off

We have only thirty-five chambers, there is no thirty-six
I know that, but, I want to create a new chamber
Oh? And what would that be? ...

SG Summer got set off in a big way this weekend. Officially starting at 4:45 am Memorial Day; this was the earliest I'd ever been up, non-work related, even including early football games. Finished the Bolder Boulder with a smooooooth PB and commenced the beer swilling with an ice-cold Michelob Ultra (1) at 8:45am. Breakfast of champions, baby.

Several Coors Lights that were snuck in by former Slushy Gutter Winner T-Dub upped the total. (4)

Live At The Barbeque:
Topics discussed by the crew at the Memorial Day BBQ:

***Brad Maynard versus Maynard. Is there really a difference? Me and E-Train thought the Bears punter was in fact the Tool frontman. Somehow I can't see the Soldier Field Jumbotron playing a singing vagina while Maynard is punting.

***Memorial Day is typically when MLB teams "take stock" of their situation and decide if they can compete into August. The Rockies stand 2.5 games back after a stellar performace by Jason Jennings. I met Jennings once and what I remember is a small disagreement of where he should sign my program. He wanted to on his interior picture, while I insisted on the front cover. The front had a picture of Dinger, who Jennings is shaped like anyway.

***Backgammon. Former Slushy Gutter Winner Juck went all Hef on us and swilled some fancy whiskey while playing. I enjoyed a few CLs to get the total to a respectable level for Opening Day of SG Summer (14)

***Hometown hero Chauncey Billups and his Pistons fall into a 3-1 hole to the Miami Heat. Maybe Chauney is still haunted by the drunken "M-V-P" chants we rained on him at Folsom Field a few years back.