Monday, April 25, 2011

Sliced and Diced

Raise up, cause you cant' have it back
You say "I ain't never got gaffled like that"

Brandon Marshall, an argument, a wife with a kitchen knife, a trip to the hospital:

-If it comes out that B-Marsh was lying to the po-po in the incident's aftermath, can the Dolphins use that info to void his contract? In effect to "cut" him? "Cut" him? Get it?

-What is the most effective kitchen cutlerly to slash someone's stomach? Is it some high dollar Ginzu type ish? Some of those real knives you can cop at the dollar store? If Brandon was wearing an aluminum shirt would the knife cut right through it?

-Brandon's little brother was Colorado's top high school recruit this past year and he spurned CU and other top programs to go to UCF and be closer to Brandon's eye. Ah yes, Brandon is role model of the year.

-Where does Marshall meet these chicks? Does have a box you check if you are prone to attacking boyfriends with sharp objects?

-Over the weekend I'm sure almost everyone got in some sort of tiff with your wife. My wife asked me at one point go downstairs and put the clothes in the dryer. Not for one second, one half second, one millisecond, one iota of any measure of time did I think I might get stabbed in the stomach if I didn't. Just saying.

-He refused a trip in the ambulance in favor of taking a "private car" to the hospital. Rather than relying on all those trained medical personnel in the specially outfitted transport device, you might as well take your man's and dem's Range Rover and hope there's a Rambo knife with the fishing line in the back.

RELATED: Wu-Tang Clan - "Careful (Click, Click)" - ("Stab you with the vocab")



Anonymous AdamMackWright said...

Before they arrested the wife, i had assumed it was the Hamburglar.

1:38 PM  
Anonymous calvin natty light said...

Damn you beat me to it Adam. Although for clarity it was a Filet O Fish wrapper. Is the Hamburglar interested in those too?

1:42 PM  
Blogger @slushygutter said...

Lots of options for the Hamburglar. Im wondering if he is a McCafe Mocha fan too. Keep in mind he is a criminal, so probably not the most diserning taste.

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