Thursday, May 30, 2013

Bohn Dry

More fun going on in Boulder, and we aren't talking about the dude who dressed as a giant dragon for the Bolder Bolder.  Mike Bohn, AD at CU, is out.  Chaos and seeminginly endless blunders, are back in.

The SG has uncovered some little known facts about the Mike Bohn firing  resignation:

-Chancellor Phil DiStephano had a $1 bet with Mortimer and Randolph on whether he could use the term "fund raising" more than 20 times at the press conference.
-CU higher ups never really jived with Bohn's constant long sleeve golf pullover/khakis/CU lanyard look.
-Word got back to President Bruce Benson that whenever Bohn passed a gargoyle statue on campus he'd say "Good monring Mr Benson."
-Bohn liked to use the term "trajectory" a lot, which always stumped DiStephano when he was doing crosswords.
-Bohn overheard Benson complaing about "this damn fax machine" and mistakenly thought he said "start a damn lax team,"  hence CU will have women's lacrosse next year.
-CU higher ups realized just how far fund raising lagged when the only thing the received in April was a box of rusty door knobs from a home remodel in Lafayette.
-Mike Bohn was planning on further capitalizing on the C-Unit success by signing 50 Cent to the group.
-Dan Hawkins' instagram photos of him bathing in tubs of CU's money was finally starting to wear on Benson.
-While Jon Embree complained of a lack of bottled water, Bohn was constantly harping on the lack of potatoes and gravy stations throughout Dal Ward.
-With Bohn receiving eight season tickets to CU football for life as aprt of the settlement, next year's attendance will improve 25%

RELATED: Wu Tang Clan - "Triumph" - ("...the swift chancellor")



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