Education has Failed The Commish

I had to transform into educated lad

going around doing chores for your dad
playing a duck, wearing sweaters and shoes
chilling with pop just listen to the blues...

If I was doing the wack challenge from the past two summers, the Slushy Gutter Summer Mission, where I attempt to drink 528 or 5280 beers, it would be around this time when I start sweating.

Not only the nearly on-the-sun like temps here in the Box State, but my numbers would be too low and I would whine about how hard it will be to reach the goal. Instead, I have realized that I cannot count and I've enjoyed my last couple weeks, merrily drinking smoooooooooooooth CLs at The C-Level with three-time SG Winner Juck and two-time SG Winner Mummy. Throw in my SG win, that's a whole lot of SGs, but I can't freaking count anyway. Or taking a big 'L' at our annual Backgammon tourney, thereby ensuring a completely suds-filled day post-elimination. Of course, counting is central to backgammon, so I was already at a disadvantage.

I've been able to cruise the Louisville Street Faire with my old mid-90s favorite, Buffalo Gold, swill more CLs at two-time Slushy Gutter Winner JBiz's (Hi Haters!) crib, and opine over drunken tales and Hip Hop with 2007 SG alum, WYDU's own, and Matt Holliday hater Trav before a Rox game. I think it was the mid 90s, but maybe it was back in the 17th century, and maybe JBiz has won the award 26 billion times, because numbers and counting baffle me.

Most importantly, no counting. None, nada, zilch. I don't even think I can count anymore. Just today, I was asked how many Super Bowls the Donks have won and I couldn't answer, because, well, that would require counting. Hopefully they've won like 42, but I don't know. (260)