Wednesday, July 02, 2008

Au revoir Jose!

A suit is a fine, jewelry is shine
If you in love, that mean you blind
Genuine is real, a face card is a hundred dollar bill
A very hard, long stare is a grill...

With Hockey Commish somewhere deep in the woods of Manitoba with a six pack of Moose Head and some groupie named Naomi, I am left to fend for SG’s NHL life with the recent spate of Av activity. Here are the coming and goings of the Avs:

OUT: Jeff Finger- The young and up and coming defenseman, also Rollie Fingers illegitimate son, bolted the Burgundy for a boat load of loonies from the Maple Leafs. With Adam Foote’s advancing age, this one stings a bit, but 13 mil for Jeff Finger?

IN: Darcy Tucker- Go ahead, make fun of his name, compare him to Darcy from “Married: With Children.” Tucker had 100+ PMs this past year, he will beat you like Bud Bundy getting smacked around after his failed rap career.

OUT: Jeff Kurt Sauer- Another defenseman leaves the fold, and we've already forgot him. Does Mike Shannahan still have Dale Carter’s phone number? I’m sure he can log a few minutes on the blue line.

OUT: Andrew Burnette- Heads back to the Twin Cities where “he feels comfortable.” If you are comfortable with eight foot mosquitoes and a team that historically underachieves, then hey, go for it.

IN: Per Ledin- Anytime you bring in a player named “Per” you automatically ratchet up expectations to a Stanley Cup level. After all, he did play with HV 71 Jonkoping last year. Anytime you play with HV 71 and you aren’t playing Bingo or making pharmaceuticals, you’re focused on Lord Stanley.

IN: Andrew Raycroft- This is the guy who you will see sitting on a stool on the corner of the bench all year.

OUT: Jose Theodore- Alas, the Theodore era comes to a close in Denver. From the bizarre timing of his initial trade, his banging Paris Hilton, his NBA-style tatted body, Jose and his inconsistent style will be missed. He just seemed to be getting his groove until the Wings ran through him like Red Chili and your spicy-intolerant grandpa.

RELATED: “What Can I Do?”- Ice Cube (“Now I got my ass in Minnesota…”)

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12 Comments:

Anonymous Spotwood said...

Kurt Sauer by the way.

The AV's have several very good young defensemen waiting in the wings so letting Finger get overpaid to be in the Eastern Conference is no big deal.

2:51 PM  
Blogger Broz said...

Agreed, Spotty. Jeff Finger is well, Jeff Finger. Completely replaceable. Theodore out? Fine. He only played well this year because he was on contract. Budaj is ready to be the full-time starter. Quenville (aka The Great Goaltender Ruiner) is gone, so Budaj should flourish. Brunette stings the most. Guy eats up minutes, gets a lot of points and is a good two-way player. I am guessing this move means a Joe Sakic retirement announcement is imminent. Darcy is "Fuck You On Ice".

4:58 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

no playoffs for the Avs this year, this team is nothing special. 8 seed and done at best. injuries will haunt them as well and their young defense will look like young defense

5:45 PM  
Blogger Commish CH said...

Spot^- Jeff is his uncle, he played for the Victoria Doucheflies in 1986.

Spot^ & Broz^- My wife was watching News $ when Gary Miller reported the story and says "Jeff Finger...was he on the team?"

Anon^- Thanks for the breakdown, ESPN is looking for Melrose's replacement, mullets required.

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