Mile High Homer Stars
You get kicked into obscurity like judo, no Menudo
cause you pseudo, tryin to compete with reality like Xerox
Towards destruction you spiraling like hairlocks, wipe them teardrops...
An all-Colorado Home Run Derby. Who do you got?
1- John Elway- Is there any doubt that had he not won two Super Bowls, that John would've been a fixture at 1st base for the Yankees? 6-4 and 215, he was a prototypical 1B with wicked bat speed and basepath speed to match. Old schoolers might remember John playing in charity baseball games at the old Mile High, even one with the first President Bush. It was rumored they discussed Iran-Contra at first base. I made that last part up.
2- Dante Bichette- Someone tell Dante that the winner gets a plate of spare ribs and mullet mousse each month for a year.
3-Joey Meyer- In 1987 the Denver Zephyr mashed 29 home runs in just 79 games. Most impressive was the 582 foot bomb he launched in the cavernous Mile High Stadium. The spot was forever immortalized by six green seats at the stadium. If immortality is being sat in for the next thirteen years by Lloyd from Commerce City, then Joey Meyer is your man.
4- Chris Drury- Unless you are from the planet Nonsportstron, or part of the 95% of the country that doesn't watch the NHL, you don't know that Drury was on some Connecticut Little League team that beat some Asian team in some late-80s Little League World Series. What you didn't know is that he was hopped up to his adjustable mesh cap on andro.
5- Steve Kiefer- While Meyer got the headlines, Kiefer was actually ahead of him in the epic 87 home run race by three dongs. Just evokes memories of Mantle-Maris or Sosa-McGwire, doesn't it?
6- Larry Walker- He might have the most experience, as having participated in the MLB Derby a few times. However, your chances of him hurting himself warming up, shagging flies, or simply blinking might hamper the quest.
7- Andre Dawson- The Hawk used to ply his wares at old Mile High back with the denver Bears in the late 70s. Yes, non-old schoolers, we had a team named the Bears that then changed their name to the Zephyrs...marketing genius unsurpassed by Larry Tate. Dawson, clad in the Bears' knock off of the parent Expo's clown-like uniform, developed his menacing glare due to the 70,000 empty seats and thin air.
RELATED: Eastern Conference All Stars- "EC All Stars"
cause you pseudo, tryin to compete with reality like Xerox
Towards destruction you spiraling like hairlocks, wipe them teardrops...
An all-Colorado Home Run Derby. Who do you got?
1- John Elway- Is there any doubt that had he not won two Super Bowls, that John would've been a fixture at 1st base for the Yankees? 6-4 and 215, he was a prototypical 1B with wicked bat speed and basepath speed to match. Old schoolers might remember John playing in charity baseball games at the old Mile High, even one with the first President Bush. It was rumored they discussed Iran-Contra at first base. I made that last part up.2- Dante Bichette- Someone tell Dante that the winner gets a plate of spare ribs and mullet mousse each month for a year.
3-Joey Meyer- In 1987 the Denver Zephyr mashed 29 home runs in just 79 games. Most impressive was the 582 foot bomb he launched in the cavernous Mile High Stadium. The spot was forever immortalized by six green seats at the stadium. If immortality is being sat in for the next thirteen years by Lloyd from Commerce City, then Joey Meyer is your man.4- Chris Drury- Unless you are from the planet Nonsportstron, or part of the 95% of the country that doesn't watch the NHL, you don't know that Drury was on some Connecticut Little League team that beat some Asian team in some late-80s Little League World Series. What you didn't know is that he was hopped up to his adjustable mesh cap on andro.
5- Steve Kiefer- While Meyer got the headlines, Kiefer was actually ahead of him in the epic 87 home run race by three dongs. Just evokes memories of Mantle-Maris or Sosa-McGwire, doesn't it?
6- Larry Walker- He might have the most experience, as having participated in the MLB Derby a few times. However, your chances of him hurting himself warming up, shagging flies, or simply blinking might hamper the quest.
7- Andre Dawson- The Hawk used to ply his wares at old Mile High back with the denver Bears in the late 70s. Yes, non-old schoolers, we had a team named the Bears that then changed their name to the Zephyrs...marketing genius unsurpassed by Larry Tate. Dawson, clad in the Bears' knock off of the parent Expo's clown-like uniform, developed his menacing glare due to the 70,000 empty seats and thin air.RELATED: Eastern Conference All Stars- "EC All Stars"
posted by @slushygutter at 7:53 PM
1 Comments:
apparently whichever one does the most crack is helpfull
Post a Comment
<< Home