Mile High with Obama

Now we rock the party and come correct
Our cuts are on time and rhymes connect
Got the right to vote and will elect
And other rappers can't stand us, but give us respect...

Things The Secret Service will tell Barrack Obama before he accepts the Dems' nomination, now at Invesco field at Mile High on August 28:

--The Cub Scout Den mother at the concession stand at section 128 doesn't care who you are, she still needs to see some damn ID.
--Be extra careful of this Bradlee Van Pelt character, after all he vowed he would return to Mile High one day and get a win.
--We know you're Bears' fan, but you really don't need to goad Mike Shannahan into punting/kicking to Devin Hester, because he will regardless.
--Don't jog to the podium, your speed will look like your showing up former punt returner Glenn Martinez.
--No, that giant concrete horse doesn't have an anatomically correct penis.
--We can't be 100% sure, but we don't have any intel that the Barrelman is hiding John McCain in his barrel.
--No sir, we've already told you that you have to be in an airplane to join that club, not here at the stadium.
--Mrs. Clinton will be upstairs with the coordinators, she will radio the plays into you. Mr. Clinton will be in the bar or more likely the cheerleaders' locker room.
--Well, if Mr. Plummer does show up and try to throw rotten tomatoes at you, just have some staffer nearby put on this Steelers' jersey and he'll throw it right at them.