Friday, May 21, 2010

Exhale...Relax


Crazy air freshener, who needs cologne...

In what seems a weekly occurence Ubaldo Jimenez went about his business and dominated his opponent last night. The unfortunate victims were the Houston Astros, who flailed at the lanky Dominican's pitches like overzealous Golden Retreivers falling for the old "mock throw" technique (most of the SG Crew wil fall for the same trick as long as it's a cold Coors Light and not a ratty tennis ball. On second thought, we'll fall for the tennis ball thing too.)

The only drama of the night came in the 7th innning when Ubaldo hit a dribbled to third and tweaked his hammy coming out of the batter's box. You could cut the concern with not only a knife, but a machete, a sword, and a farming combine. It sounded like Drew Goodman was about to start crying. Back home in Denver, GM Dan O'Dowd probably broke the glass on the cabinet labeled "Ubaldo" and snorted a line of coke. Jim Tracy had to be coaxed from underneath the bat rack where he was in the fetal position chanting "mommy." The tension even reached the extended Rockies family, as Dante Bichette couldn't quite finish the 11th piece of pizza.

Alas, Ubaldo was alright. Things were good again in Rockies-ville. At least for one out of five nights.

RELATED: Big Daddy Kane - "Rap Summary (Lean On Me)" - ("...this is for your own concern")

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7 Comments:

Anonymous Spotwood said...

He's getting to be so intergral to this team I even threw out an F-bomb when I saw that.

8:51 AM  
Anonymous skyler ulbrecht said...

how about when he gets to first and ran about as slow as a turtle going to 2nd on the DP. Timed with a sundial.

2:11 PM  
Anonymous Smaktakula said...

Ubaldo is awesome; the Rox have something special on their hands.

The one loss keeps him human. In fact, I'm operating on the theory that if there were no Los Angeles Dodgers, the Rox would win 110 games every year.

11:26 AM  
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