Aint So Melo

From the crew that sets it off by spraying beer in your face...

The scariest thing coming out of Nuggets camp right now isn't the Melo Situation (not Melo versus The Situation, although that might be fun to watch. What could the two of them compete at? Wearing sunglasses inside is about all they have in common) but rather the lack of big men roaming the Powder Blue and suddenly day glo yellow paint. (Seriously, the yellow in the Nuggets unis has been amped up from a subtle gold hue to 1988 Body Glove.)

The "jewel" signing of the off-season Al Harrington is apparently suffering from plantar fasciitis. Now I have no idea what that is, but Ed McCaffery and Good Feet says that special shoes are required for it. No one is letting on how long K-Mart will be out, but I heard whispers here and there we might not see him until the break. Not Thanksgiving break, not Christmas Break, but the All-Star break. The same can be said for Birdman, who apparently spent most of the off season treating his neck as a coloring book.

That leaves our buddy Nene, who has been playing out of position for his entire NBA career because every Nugget brainiac from Kiki to Kroneke to Rocky can't figure out what everyone knows: that he could be a great power forward when coupled with a true center. Scanning the roster they also have something named Eric Boateng at center, Courtney Sims, and Melvin Ely.

The Lakers are shuddering when they scan those names, and when they don't have Melo (or as LaLa calls him in their gawd awful reality show "Mel", and that could be real confusing with Ely around. And if you watch that show, you'll suddenly see why Melo wants out of Denver and you won't care which way he leaves, trust me) and a bunch of youngsters and Chauncey, not even the Clippers will be shuddering.

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