Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Big 12 Media Daze

I went from musty to musky and y'all can't mush me
I warn y'all cornballs I Hush Puppies
The swans in the pond call my duck ugly
But now they hug me, because it's lovely…

The Big 12 Media Poll came out yesterday, with not too much of a surprise to us here in Buff Land. The only glaring assumption is the inclusion of the putrid horde of sod busters ranked ahead of The Black and Gold at #3. New coach, new system, a team that routinely gave up big numbers, and the red-clad creeps are still ranked in the division’s top half? Who in the name of Bob Devaney spiked the Big 12 writers Boulevard Wheat with corn syrup?

1- Missouri- Yes, Chase Daniel eats boogers. Yet one has to wonder if Daniel is going to live up to the hype or have a Jeff George or Ryan Leaf flame out. Wideout Jeremy Maclin is a big time playmaker.

2- Kansas- The cupcakes from KU’s schedule in 07 are gone. And don’t use that word around Coach Mangino unless you are planning to whip up a batch, dammit. The rest of conference might be able to figure out QB Todd Reesling.

3- Colorado- The Good Guys are young, and one has to hope QB Cody Hawkins avoids the proverbial Sophomore slump. A typical wicked CU schedule awaits super recruit Darrell Scott and two new cornerbacks.

4- Kansas State- The heat is on coach Ron Prince in Manhattan, as the state’s football prowess has shifted to Lawrence. Prince loaded up on transfers ala his predecessor and has the typical non-conference patsies in that same vein, a trip to Louisville notwithstanding.

5- Iowa State- The crew that resembles 70’s McDonald’s uniforms will still be fighting an uphill battle under their 2nd year coach. But ever since the Troy Davis days, the Cyclones have been able to knock someone off at the desolate and weather dominated home stadium of theirs.

6- The Legion of Feces- New to the conference this year is LoF U. It will be tough for them to play football given that they are chunks of excrement. Watch out for their QB, a rugged piece of undigested kielbasa.

7- sodbusters.

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