Sunday, April 20, 2008

Unwanted Visitor


Now here I go, once again, with the ill flow
Other MC's that rap, their style is so-so...


A long lost friend reappeared this week, he's been out of the scene for about 5 years, probably boozing it up in Saskatoon. It's Hockey Commish, and that ahole wouldn't leave me alone.

He comes around acting like he knows the ins and outs of the Avs, spouting how Jose Theodore stole Game Five against the Wild. "He robbed the entire franchise, he should be arrested for theft!" He bellows as he swings another one of my Coors Lights. He's so damn loud, screaming at the TV, scaring the dog and spilling chips all over. He acts like he has so much contempt for some players; "I see you Boogaard, you fuck! Why don't you get another vowel in your name you gangly pirate hooker!"

His wit is unimpressive.

He tries to coach me on the Avs finer points, "Look at Smyth, have you ever seen a guy do so much and not have any tangible evidence in the box score?" Then he swills another beer. "Check out the Avs' defense, they are the ones dumping it, not the Wild, and look at Marion Gaborik. Oh that's right, you can't, because Foote and the boys have been ass plugging him all series."

I'm not sure how long Hockey Commish is going to be around, eating my grub, wasting my internet on NHL.com, leaving burnt popcorn in the microwave, laughing like a hyena at old Sinbad movie, berating me for being an NBA fan. It appears he'll be here another few weeks, maybe even more. He's already taking aim at the Avs' possible opponents.

"Red Wings can straight get the dick."

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7 Comments:

Anonymous Spotwood said...

I miss Hockey Commish, nice to see him back.

Maybe we can go down to Hooters and Juck can get thrown out after Game 7 of the Finals again this year.

5:04 PM  
Anonymous sandwich ozalunch said...

plenty of room on the av bandwagon Commish. I hate all those hockey "sophisticates" who act like people are intruding on them. We're trying to grow the sport, we need casual fans.

6:37 PM  
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