Sunday, October 07, 2007

Purple Haze?

Test your current Denver Sports Scene pulse:

1- If asked in two years ago which Denver team would be the next to advance to the second round of a postseason, you'd answer:
-Broncos (1 pt)
-Avs (2 pts)
-Nugs (3 pts)
-Rockies (10pts)

2- If Time Machine Monty crashed your Health class (where you were about to see vaginas) back in 1989 and said in 2007 two things called the Colorado Rockies and the Arizona Diamondbacks would play for the NL pennant, you'd:
-Look over his head to see the vaginas (1 pt)
-Ask him where he scored the weed (3 pts)
-High five him and take him to your big brother's garage party with some Keystone Light (10 pts)

3- It's September 1st and ESPN analyst Steve Phillips has picked the Rockies to win the Wildcard. The dude who fixes your copier and smells like lunch meat says they'll advance even further, you'd:
-Scoff him off and ask how Jay Cutler looked in the last preseason game (1 pt)
-Scoff him off and further damage the copier by with a copy of your scrotum (5 pts)
-Go home and try to add both Phillips and Salami Xerox Boy to your MySpace friends (10 pts)

4- At work on Monday, you're talking about Clint Hurdle's masterful pinch hitting substitutions and wondering if Mike Shannahan could be outcoached by your son's flag football coach "Mad Dawg".
-Shanny couldn't carry Mad Dawg's jock. I mean, did you see when Mad Dawg faked liked there were balloons floating in the backfield and totally duped the other team!? (1 pt)
-Clint Hurdle? When did they get rid of Dan Baylor, or was it Darin Bowler? Darwin Bueller? (3 pts)
-Hurdle is the man, I have grown a flavor saver soul patch just like him. (5 pts)

5- You wake up with a massive hangover on Sunday from the late Rockies game. Your friend Cecil calls with an offer of free Bronco or Avs' tickets:
-If Travis Henry hot boxes me at the tailgate, I'll be there (1pt)
-Will there be beer? I'll be there. (3 pt)
-No thanks Cecil, I'm heading to the Coors Field ticket line to camp out for the next four days. (10 pts)

If you scored:
-five or under points: please read a sports page, head to LoDo and buy a Rockies t-shirt, and take off the Orange glasses for a few weeks.
-between six and 30 points: keep doing what you've been doing, add one more beer for each Rockies' game viewed.
-more than 21 points: you would probably take Rockies pitchers Franklin Morales or Ubaldo Jimenez out on a date and buy them flowers.



Anonymous the sweet poonster said...

im all over the board on this. i like the vagina, the hot box, the beer, and the rockies. yippeee

9:18 AM  
Blogger Hallux Valgus said...

what do I get for knowing that Arsenal Colorado, er, the Rapids won yesterday? Oh yeah: beat up and shoved in my locker.

5:05 PM  

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