Wednesday, October 03, 2007

Playoffs = Slack Off

When some clown jumps up to get beat down
Broken down to his very last compound
See how it sounds? a little unrational
A lot of mc's like to use the word dramatical...

Excuses you can use with your boss to get out of work to catch the Rockies playoff games:

1- Bud Black wants me to go down to the local sports bar and see if Matt Holliday is there so I can tag him out.

2- My cat took a huge dook this morning that looks like a mini Coors Field. It's a sign boss, you can't mess with karma.

3- Oh my gosh, my neighbor just called and said Troy Tulowitzski is totally banging my wife!

4- Have you ever had champagne in your eyes? Then you try to drive into work, you insensitive jerk!

5- My kid's day care is run by Europeans, so they all take siestas at 1pm each day. Gotta go pick up little Johnny.

6- I'm having an allergic reaction to the copy toner, boss. I need to cleanse myself in a bath of Coors Light. I have a doctor's note too. No, that isn't my handwriting!

7- They found my dog running loose...in Philadelphia. See you Friday!

8- I'm an October Thirdist, a weird cult that must pray for three to four hours starting at 1pm each October 3rd. Hey, you can't infringe on my religious freedoms!

9- Yeah boss, someone cut my brakelines and I came to a slow rolling stop at this bar over here. I'm really frazzled, I better just stay put.

10- Oh my gosh! Grandma! No, I only have two grandmothers. Why? Oh those other two from Opening Days? Those were just close family friends we called "Grandma."

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2 Comments:

Anonymous Spotwood said...

11. Have a kid and take paternity leave, woohoo!!

10:20 AM  
Anonymous how much for that sweet poon? said...

12. i brought a Tv and plan on taking a 3 hour bathroom break. no joke

2:09 PM  

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