Not Quite Hard as Hell

Uncle L was recently captured spewing off about the state of the rap game in the 07, claiming he was ready to go after some cats. Specifically, he calls out one Jay-Z, telling him to “do his job” rather than dropping a verse (presumably on the “I Get Money (remix).” Like Emmitt Smith in an Arizona Cardinals uniform, Juilo Cesar Chavez boxing at Indian Reservations, and the 55 year old bar fly sitting at the end of a seedy bar, LL just doesn’t know when to hang it up.

Hating on LL? No way. The guy is a legend, a personality that transcends just the music. But this isn’t Kool Moe Dee or Ice-T in the late 80’s. It’s been nearly 10 years since he briefly resuscitated his career by taking on Canibus. (And yo, did LL really come out on top on that one? I’d say ‘Bus licked him good on “2nd Round Knockout.”) In Da House has been off the air for five years. And Rollerball? Should’ve been straight to DVD. Now Mr. Smith thinks he can bring it back by taking on Jigga?

Thorughout his over 20 year career, LL has boasted his “greatest of all time” status, but who really believes that? Do any Hip Hop historians have him in their top five? How about their top ten? Has LL ever even been at the top of the game at any point in his career, like many could argue Jay has been for/at some point over the last few years?

His debut in 86 there was Run DMC all over; his high point in 87/88 Rakim was already considered on point; by Walking With a Panther, LL was getting clowned as he was sporting dookie ropes and materialism as consciousness creeped into Hip Hop; when Marley rescued him "Jingling Baby" and Mama Said Knock You Out in 90/91, LL was rocking painted jeans and cheesy dance moves while Cube kicked street knowledge; 1993 LL was pimping the back seat of his Jeep while a host of east coast lyricists emerged; by 1995 when he was screaming “Hey Love” it was all BIG and Wu; and a brief resurgence in 98 with “4,3,2,1” didn’t measure too much over his peers.

LL, stick to your voice over work and your low budget movies. TJ Maxx is still selling some wayward FUBU gear. Royalty checks are keeping you paid, your lips licked, and your pant leg rolled up. As you once pined on "Eat Em Up L": chiiiiiiiiiiillllllll.