Wednesday, June 01, 2011

Monthly Fix

So all you path-steppers, you better stop steppin
Cause I release lyrics as if they were weapons...

Apparently the Rockies believe in some cosmic karma type bullshit, because they believe the simple changin of a month will remedy their crap-tacular play.

Flip the calendar from May to June and all your ails will be cured. May 31st to June 1 and the team will magically start to hit with runners in scoring position. Tuesday, but now it is Wedsneday and our bullpen will morph in the formidable unit it was pegged to be a t season's start. A new month and the home runs will start flying, Tulo's mullet will stage a comeback, Ubaldo will toss no hitters again, Dexter Fowler will turn to Vince Coleman 2.0, and Alanna Rizzo and the Cargo Taco Bell girl will show up at my door in a driving rainstorm and white t-shirts.

Reality check. Months are merely numbers on a wall. If months changed the fortunes of baseball teams they'd have to split the World Series 30 ways. The Rockies need more than June to get out of fourth (yes fourth) place and somehow compete again. But they can keep hoping that a new month is the easy way out. Send your page-a-day calendars to 20th and Blake.

RELATED: Chi Ali - "Age Ain't Nuthin But A Number"



Anonymous boulder creek tailgater said...

baseball players look at all that crap. they think bubble gum on their hats can turn the course of a season.

10:25 AM  
Anonymous Homonculus said...

Pretty sure U-ball reads this blog. How else would you explain his game finally showing up last night?

10:45 AM  
Anonymous Spotwood said...

1-0 for June

12:57 PM  
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