Slow Melo News

Father of all stylin, I be wildin on wax
We hack shit up like big ax and little ax...

Haven't heard to much about Melo skipping town lately, have you? Here's some theories as to why:

-Chauncey has been trying to one up Melo's Olympuic medal by flaunting his own World Championship medal won in Turkey this summer. Chauncey keeps wearing it in the shower saying "Waddup, turkey!" Melo just loves that joke.

-Two words: Melvin Ely.

-Tim Tebow has sought out Melo and the two have formed an inseparable friendship. Think Gene Wilder and Richard Pryor in 'Stir Crazy.'

-Radio, TV, and 'net transmissions have stalled because of Sheldan Williams' head. Seriously, have you seen that dudes head? He looks like Ken Griffey on The Simpsons when he overdosed on nerve tonic. I seriously might scream "nerve tonic" everytime he touches the ball this year.

-Two words: Eric Boateng. Plus, that is fun to say: "boaaa-tennnng! Boaaaa-teng!"

-Melo's lame propensity for constantly wearing huge cop-style shades inside has turned off potential suitors where they actually play games indoors. So, like all the league.

-Maybe, just maybe, the combo of George Karl and Nuggets' brass is in Melo's ear, explaining to him that they can pay him the most. They've broke down how they can be a team in transition, moving K-Mart, JR Smith's new attitude, and a guard combo of vet Chauncey and fireplug Ty Lawson. How Al Harrington is a scorer and they will add a big man to go with Nene. They show Melo the rigid structure and stability at the top of the organization and that Denver is the place for him

-If you believe the above, you too may want to get addicted to nerve tonic.

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