ATL No-iens

Snakebitten
Been spit in the face
But the rhymes keep fittin'
Respects been givin' how's ya livin'...

Rockies' fans had to wonder if they would be forever matched with Padres and Mets' fans as the franchises that have never had a no-hitter (it is still hard to believe the New York Mets, in their ballpark(s) through fifty years don't have a no-no. Hey, fahgetaboutit.) In the back of our minds we thought that some fourth or fifth no-name might be able to get to the 7th or even the 8th with no hits, but a no-hitter? This franchise, so synonymous with pitching ineptitude, a no hitter?

Enter Ubaldo.

It wasn't a masterpiece, he had his moments of not only losing the no-no, but losing the game. But in the end: goose eggs (has anyone ever had a goose egg? Why are zeros "goose eggs"? Is it too goofy for an announcer to say "chicken eggs"? "Well, Bob, the final result of the Dick Head University offense was a big fat chicken egg.") Ubaldo was lights out from the fifth inning, still reaching high nineties 120+ pitches into the ninth inning. Of course better be buying Dexter Fowler more than a plate of Georgia BBQ after the game. Hell, he better send a "escort" named Georgia to his room.

This will dim the hurt of the Rox being no-hit twice in one year by Hideki Nomo and Al Leiter (Al Leiter? F you and the Marlins. I was in Florida a couple weeks after that no hitter and the Marlins and their 9500 fans were celebrating it like Ponce De Leon had returned to turn South Beach into a city of gold.) It will propel Ubaldo to being the early-early-early All Star starter, although Jim Tracy might want to figure a way to get some extra rest before his next start. Whatever way it shakes out, the Rockies are out of the no no-no club.

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