Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Drop Zone

Straighten out what I be about, reckon above the clout
And let the management work for me
Because I don't need the unnecessary hostility...

The Commishs attended the Nugs home finale last night, and while the Nuggets captured a much-needed win to set up a big matchup with the Suns tonight, I have one simple request for the team. No, not to play their asses off tonight, to play Birdman more minutes, to find a suitable four player complement to Ty Lawson (regarding Lawson: most creative use of duct tape, Sharpie, and an Allen Iverson #3 TJ Maxx $7.99 clearance jersey was on display last night), for JR to play with consistency. My simple request?

End the damn t-shirt drops at the Pepsi Center.

Want to see people absolutely wig out over free schwag? I mean just go fucking out of their minds? Like imagine those clips you see of the ladies in the 1960s crying over the Beatles and multiply that by the crowds at Wal Mart on Black Friday. To the point that they are clobbering each other with elbows, falling over seats, spilling their (and your) $7 drinks, jumping like they're Kareem in the center circle? Drop a "t-shirt" that could double as a disposable bib at Denny's from the ceiling.

A near melee broke out in our section in which the older gentlemen seated next to us out hustled and muscled a collection of wannabee gangsters, pregnant ladies, underage drinkers, visiting Euros, frat boy types, cougars, little kids, and "after work" guys for the coveted shirt that will undoubtedly be left for the Pepsi Center cleaning crew.

(Note to the young cat behind me: Just because his name is Rudy Gay doesn't mean that you can yell for him to perform fellatio on other males and to use homosexual slurs at him. Just saying.)

Either end the practice all together or up the ante and drop a something of more value, like say a coupon for a free small Burger King fries, and you'll see people go nutso like Mad Max in Thunderdome. That or sign Thelma from Commerce City to play power forward.

RELATED: Ludacris - "Southern Hospitality"



Anonymous calvin natty light said...

The tshirt gun is just as hazardous- the chance of gettng clocked in the face by the actual shirt or caught in the mob flailing over it.

Sometimes Id like to turn the tables and fire it at Rocky just to give him a taste of the chaos.

9:27 AM  
Anonymous Homonculus said...

Two words: sensory overload. Is it possible to turn the arena stereo system off for at least a couple of minutes? Jeebus. Damn thing was cranked to 11 the whole night. I hate to say it, but to an extent, I'd rather HD at home or a sports bar than the live experience.

Also, Rudy Gay's dunk in the 3rd off of a steal was phenomenal.

5:44 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Rocky's Taste of Chaos

That's my new Fantasy Baseball name Commish, thanks.

9:13 AM  
Blogger @slushygutter said...

Calvin^- I think there was a lawsuit involving a tshirt gun recently. Id like to have beer vendors shoot bottles with it.

Homon^- Pretty soon theyll give out free acid at the door to heighten your gameday experience

Anon^- That is freaking awesome

1:28 PM  
Blogger oakleyses said...

nike free, kate spade handbags, nike air max, michael kors outlet, christian louboutin, coach purses, oakley vault, tiffany and co jewelry, christian louboutin outlet, cheap oakley sunglasses, ray ban sunglasses, coach outlet store online, tory burch outlet, louis vuitton outlet online, louis vuitton outlet, coach outlet, louis vuitton outlet, jordan shoes, chanel handbags, louis vuitton, kate spade outlet online, louis vuitton handbags, polo ralph lauren outlet, burberry outlet online, red bottom shoes, true religion outlet, longchamp handbags, ray ban outlet, true religion, prada outlet, michael kors outlet online, tiffany jewelry, gucci handbags, polo ralph lauren, michael kors outlet online, oakley sunglasses, christian louboutin shoes, michael kors outlet store, michael kors outlet online, nike air max, longchamp outlet, nike shoes, longchamp outlet online, prada handbags, michael kors outlet online, coach outlet, burberry outlet online

6:34 PM  
Blogger oakleyses said...

longchamp pas cher, chaussure louboutin, longchamp, nike air force, nike free, hollister, sac michael kors, vans pas cher, nike air max, nike air max, converse pas cher, abercrombie and fitch, lacoste pas cher, nike blazer pas cher, new balance pas cher, louis vuitton, louis vuitton pas cher, oakley pas cher, ralph lauren, air jordan, lululemon, mulberry, timberland, guess pas cher, burberry pas cher, louis vuitton uk, sac vanessa bruno, true religion outlet, michael kors uk, nike roshe, nike free pas cher, barbour, ray ban uk, nike roshe run, hollister, air max pas cher, tn pas cher, ray ban pas cher, north face, air max, sac louis vuitton, scarpe hogan, hermes pas cher, true religion jeans, michael kors canada, ralph lauren pas cher, north face pas cher

6:48 PM  
Blogger oakleyses said...

north face jackets, birkin bag, ugg soldes, p90x workout, ferragamo shoes, mac cosmetics, marc jacobs outlet, nike huarache, bottega veneta, babyliss pro, ghd, north face outlet, mcm handbags, herve leger, uggs outlet, canada goose outlet, insanity workout, giuseppe zanotti, soccer jerseys, rolex watches, jimmy choo shoes, canada goose outlet, celine handbags, mont blanc pens, ugg, beats headphones, ugg boots, chi flat iron, uggs on sale, canada goose, soccer shoes, wedding dresses, asics shoes, hollister, valentino shoes, reebok shoes, longchamp, lululemon outlet, ugg outlet, new balance outlet, abercrombie and fitch, nfl jerseys, vans outlet, roshe run, canada goose outlet, nike trainers, instyler ionic styler

6:57 PM  
Blogger oakleyses said...

air max, juicy couture outlet, louboutin, canada goose, wedding dress, louis vuitton canada, canada goose, ralph lauren, uggs canada, moncler outlet, thomas sabo uk, replica watches, parajumpers outlet, gucci, pandora jewelry, converse shoes, hollister clothing, nike air max, swarovski jewelry, converse, karen millen, montre femme, coach outlet, swarovski uk, timberland shoes, moncler, moncler, hollister, supra shoes, pandora charms, ray ban, links of london uk, oakley, juicy couture outlet, moncler, lancel, canada goose uk, toms outlet, baseball bats, pandora uk, iphone 6 case, vans, ugg, moncler, canada goose pas cher, hollister canada, moncler, moncler

7:17 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home