Thursday, April 01, 2010

Elam Exit

So yeah I sampled your voice, you was usin it wrong
You made it a hot line, I made it a hot song...

Jason Elam has retired as a Donk and kudos to him for hanging them up. How many kickers bounce from team to team to team in their waning years? The list of kickers that teams bring in during the season on Tuesdays always seems to be the same handful of guys (kickers that some dork in your fantasy league accidentially drafted in the 13th round even though they were cut in camp. Then they clog up your waivers all freaking year.) It would be a shame to see Elam in that group the next few seasons.
Elam is one of the last links to the "glory years" that too many Donk fans still hang their hat on as if those late 90s still drive the team years later. Scary "I'm getting old moment": With Elam retired, Trevor Pryce is the only Bronco from the Super Bowl teams still playing. Dammit, I was going to draft Derek Loville this year.
And of course, Elam signed the ceremonial "one day contract" so he could retire as a Denver Bronco. Yes, because if he hadn't all we would remember all of his glory years in the Red and Black of the Atlanta Falcons. With times as tight as they are, do you think after the presser when Elam was loading up to head home the organization demanded he actually put in a full day's work, since it is a one day contract. Grease those weight benches, Elam. Shave McD's velcro-like dome, toss another bag of cheeseburgers to Jamal Williams, apply more adhesive to Knowshon's gloves, ensure Brandon Marshall is in a fast food wrapper-free zone.
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