Wednesday, October 07, 2009

Leaving Messages

Terror illustrates my era,
now I can't hang with my mama cuz I scare her...

Outgoing voice mail greetings related to the Rockies and Phillies NLDS:

Around the office:
Hi, you've reached (insert name) at extension X. If you've reached this message on October 7th or October 8th between 12:30 and 4 pm, I will be unavailable due to a sales appointment/training session/my kid got in a fight at school and I have to pick him up/my office being fumigated. Please leave a message.

At the networks:
Hello, we cannot come to the phone right now as we are busy preparing for the Yankees series and the Red Sox series. If you are from a remote baseball outpost such as Colorado, have fun watching your series in the middle of the day. If you think it is an East Coast bias, well, you are right.

At the weatherman's desk:
Hi, you've reached Stormy Sundale at Channel 5. We'll have a winter storm coming into twon Saturday afternoon lasting throughout the rest of the weekend. If you are going to the Rockies' game, bundle up. If you are watching on TV somewhere else other than the region, yes it snows here every day September through May, we live in igloos, and I take a dog sled to work.

In the Rockies Clubhouse:
Hola, this is Jorge De La Rosa. Owwwwww, mi groin!

In the Phillies Clubhouse:
Hola, this is Pedro Martinez. I am not here as I am enjoying a fine cheese steak in Philly. Please leave a message. If this is Don Zimmer, you can fuck off you Popeye looking muthafucker.

At Dan O'Dowd's Office:
Greetings, this is Dan O'Dowd, general manager of the Rockies. I can't take your call, as I am general managing a team that has made the playoffs two out of the past three years. That's right, pushing all the right buttons after ten years. If you are some lame blogger talking crap, you can get deeeeeez nuuuuuuuuts. Oh, leave a message.

RELATED: De La Soul - "Ring Ring Ring"

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9 Comments:

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