Friday, September 25, 2009

Cook it Up

Once I cruise, pay dues, I never lose
When I break on fools, wake up, you don't snooze...

Good Morning Aaron Cook! Have a nice month without pitching? Hope you are up to being at your best tonight pitching versus the Cardinals. Yes, those Cardinals: Albert Pujols, Chris Carpenter, and some dude named Holliday. If you can provide a nice outing it might soothe the past two nights where both your fellow starter Brother Marquis and bullpen mates collectively gagged. Your offense gagged. Hell, even your manager gagged with some of his moves on Thursday. Stop those footsteps coming from the Braves, get that sinker ball working, and hell, sell some tickets and help Nancy slop up some burritoes. No pressure, Aaron, have fun, and make mine egg and potato.

RELATED: Chaka Demus and Pliers - "Murder She Wrote" - ("This girl her name is Nancy, her beauty's like a bunch of rose, and if I ever tell you bout Nancy, you would a say I don't know what I know...)



Anonymous Tuck said...

People getting nervous in Roctoberland? Is the bandwagon getting a little shaky?

11:31 AM  
Anonymous Homonculus said...

Sounds cliche, but this team peaked too soon. They've looked tired for about 3-4 weeks now. 162 games is a loooong time boys.

12:37 PM  
Anonymous Tuck said...

Their pitching, especially that pathetic excuse for a bullpen, has zero chance of holding up against any of the NL playoff teams. Yes, Gay-La-Rosa and the gang can deal against the Dbacks, Reds, and the rest of the September call-ups. But the remaining offenses out there are going to murder the Rockies' staff. No doubt about it.

1:12 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Gay La Rosa? Wow, I didnt know that their was seventh graders reading the site, Commish.

Gayson Hammel?
Troy Tulo-dick-ski?
Dike-ster Fowler!

2:07 PM  
Anonymous Tuck said...

It's "there", not "their". Dumbass.

2:25 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

grammar smack, how fun!

Jason Gay-ambi!

2:46 PM  
Anonymous Spotwood said...

You'd be surprised to know his nickname isn't Tuck due to his last name, but more due to his Jame Gumb fetish.

In other news, no I'm not worried and the Rockies will be just fine.

4:05 PM  
Anonymous gaybizpunchespuppets said...

GayBiz loves him some Jame Gumb!

and he loves the juvenile Rockies nicknames.

4:32 PM  
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